Mass Effect: The Loading Times
by McFreeky
Summary: These are the stories that occur in between missions on the Normandy. While the players are watching a ship travel at FTL speeds, the people inside are still going about their day. These moments are what I call "The Loading Times."
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Shepard's vision was filled with blue sky, and he felt the grass around him bend to the wind. He was wearing work clothes that had sweat stains from a hard day of working on his farm. A brisk summer breeze cooled the burning sensation that the midday sun was leaving on his skin.

_I could get used to this. It's been a long time since I could lie down and just relax. _Shepard tried to recall what exactly was keeping him from doing this more often, but all explanations seemed to elude him. He merely shrugged and closed his eyes, letting the sun beat down on him.

Suddenly, a rumble shook the ground, and sounds of distant shouting reached his ears. Both felt familiar somehow, as if they had happened to him before. Shepard squeezed his eyes tighter, trying to ignore the new sensations as his mind worked to find why they felt so recognizable. A scream from beside him broke his reverie.

"CARMINE!"

His eyes snapped open and found the open mouth of a thresher maw in his face. His work clothes had been replaced by armor, and his hands were wrapped around his sniper rifle. Shepard looked at the rest of his squad lift their rifles and fire at the monster that had just tossed Carmine to his death.

Lifting his sniper rifle, Shepard took aim at the white glowing eyes on either side of the open mouth and fired. It was the only thing he knew that would make the beast retreat. He didn't want to see McNeil or Thomas being eaten by acid, not again.

However, every bullet that Shepard shot seemed to pass right through its intended target. He saw the maw begin to convulse.

"MCNEIL, THOMAS, GET DOWN!" Shepard yelled.

But it was too late. The acidic projectile struck the two marines and began to melt them into a puddle behind the cover they had taken. Shepard turned to the last surviving member of his squad only to find that Garza had taken off in the opposite direction. He tried to chase after her, but his legs felt like lead. No matter how fast or how hard he tried to pump them, his legs wouldn't move faster than a slow crawl.

"Garza! Stop!"

Garza did not stop. She kept on running away from him, right into a squad of three batarian slavers. She skidded to halt in front of them and tried to run back towards Shepard. Garza didn't make it two steps before one of the batarians opened fire on a fusion cell next to her, blowing it up and sending her crashing to the prefabs on one side of the alley.

Shepard threw an Overload tech mine, followed closely by an Incendiary mine and two bullets. As each slaver fell, they winked from existence. Shepard took no note of this, focused on reaching his down squad mate.

As he made it to her prone form, Shepard pulled off Garza's helmet only to find Scott's face staring back up at him. His eyes were wide with fear and his hands were wrapped around his neck. Blood trickled in between his fingers.

"Hold on, Scott. I'll get you patched up. We are going to make it out of this," Shepard reassured him. He began to apply some medi-gel to the wound, hoping it wasn't too late.

Scott's only reply was a wet cough that sprayed Shepard's face with blood. Scott's eyes searched frantically, pleading for anything to save him from the darkness that was closing in on him. Finally, his eyes stopped moving and began to cloud over. He released one last breath and was still.

"Scott! C'mon, buddy. Don't do this to me." Shepard frantically pushed on his chest, trying to get blood back to the brain. After what seemed to be an eternity, he stopped, knowing it was too late. Shepard squeezed his eyes shut, wishing that, when he opened them again, he would be back on his farm, lying in the sun.

A tortured scream forced his eyes open, and Shepard watched as Corporal Toombs clawed at the ground, trying to stop the unseen force that was dragging him into the earth. Before Shepard could get to his feet to help, Toombs was gone.

_What the hell is going on?_ Shepard thought, as he stumbled to the last bastion of hope. _How could everything have gone so wrong?_

At last he saw his destination, the shuttle that would take him away from his wretched place. As Shepard moved toward his escape, each step became more labored, more weighted. He felt like some power was trying to trap him in this hell, this nightmare.

Shepard would not allow himself to be trapped here. He had things he needed to accomplish in the world beyond this one. People were counting on him being there. He would not fail them. He had to escape this place.

The pressure, the beast, fought harder and harder with each step that Shepard took, yet he continued. Each step was defiant and assured in its rightness. Shepard was steps away from the shuttle when his foot struck something on the ground. He blinked in surprised and looked down. Shepard saw a body of a woman, just a meter away from the safety she was desperately trying to reach.

_Pvt. Holt_. The name came to Shepard like a soft whisper. As soon as he tried to grasp at it, the thought slipped through his consciousness. All Shepard was left with is that he knew this person, and he needed to help her.

Shepard slipped his arms underneath her knees and back and lifted. The beast didn't fight him as he made his way to the shuttle. Shepard didn't know whether he should be grateful for its absence or wary that it may be trying something devious.

He pushed the thought out of his mind as he laid the woman on a medical gurney in the shuttle. He slowly pulled off her helmet and watched as her eyes blinked open. Shepard smiled. He hasn't seen those eyes in over ten years.

"Amanda. I'm so glad you are all right," he said as he pulled her into a tight hug.

"Am I all right?" she responded flatly.

"Of course you are," Shepard tried. "We are going to be fine."

He pulled her into a kiss, but, instead of the soft, warm lips that he remembers, his lips were met with cold flesh. A metallic taste flooded his mouth as a thick, sticky liquid pass his lips.

Shepard pulls back and sees red coming from the inside of her mouth. He looks at her shoulder and sees a bullet hole with blood trickling from it.

"Hold on, Amanda. I'll go get the med kit and patch you up."

Shepard got up to retrieve the med kit that hung on the wall of the shuttle. He turned around, only to be surprised that Amanda was no longer laying on the gurney. She was standing in front of him, only a meter away.

"You shouldn't be up. You will reopen your wound if you move too much after I apply the medi-gel," Shepard said as he closed the distance between the two.

"But there is no medi-gel."

Her voice stopped him in his tracks. It was cold and lifeless. Shepard looked at the kit in his hands to find out that she was correct. There was no medi-gel, but there was a needle and thread for this exact situation.

"Then I'll sew you up and get you out of here as fast as I can."

"But you don't know how to do that. You're only sixteen."

Shepard looked down at himself to see that, again, she was right. His armor was replaced with the clothes he wore during the raid. He was no longer in the body of a twenty nine year old N7 soldier, but a sixteen year old boy.

"But I-"

"I'm dead, Troy. And you can't do anything about it," Amanda interrupted.

He should have been glad to hear his first name again. No one had called him Troy since he left the colonies when he was eighteen. It was always Shepard. But this was not a happy moment. Amanda's words were poison that seeped through his skin and made him sick. She was accusing him.

"I tried, but-"

"You should have tried harder," she said, cutting him off again.

The beast returned roaring and slammed Shepard with a force unlike what he felt before. His legs buckled, and he fell backwards onto the bulkhead. Even with the additional help, his legs could not hold Shepard up, and he slid down to the ground. Amanda loomed over him.

"We would all be alive if we never left the forest!" she screamed. "We should have waited them out! But you just had to go home didn't you; had to check on your parents. They were already dead, and now we are all dead! All of us, except you!"

Scott, John, and Hannah appeared before him. The left side of Scott's throat was ripped apart where the bullet had struck him. John Shepard's torso was riddled with bullets where the batarian slavers shot him. Hannah Shepard had a single bullet hole in her forehead where the same slavers executed her. They began to whisper, blaming Shepard for their deaths.

Shepard squeezed his eyes shut and put his hands over his ears, trying to shut them out. It didn't work. Even through his eyelids, he could still see. Even through his hands, he could still hear. There was no escape for him.

When the whispers quieted, Shepard opened his eyes. Amanda was no longer there. Instead, it was Corporal Thomas. His armor was almost totally eaten away by the acid. Muscles and bone were exposed where the acid ate into his flesh.

"We should have left after we saw the first destroyed building. We didn't have the intel that we needed to try to take on the main colony," he said without passion.

"We had orders to-" Shepard tried to reply.

"Orders are only as good as the men who give them!" Thomas yelled back. "And we all know how much of a bastard Lieutenant Commander Diaz was!"

Garza, McNeil, and Carmine materialized next to Thomas. Garza's face was torn open with shards of glass still stuck in some of the open wounds. McNeil was eaten away much like Thomas was. Carmine's limbs were bent at odd, unnatural angles. Again the whispers started, accusing Shepard of not being fit for command, for not doing what was best for his team.

This time, Shepard did not close his eyes or ears. He would not give the beast the satisfaction of him cowering like a child in a corner. He slowly got to his feet. The whispers increase, trying to force him into submission.

"ENOUGH!" Shepard screamed.

The whispers stopped

"I did what I was commanded to. I did my duty!"

A laugh echoed in the small shuttle as Thomas, Garza, Carmine, and McNeil vanished. Shepard's blood ran cold. He knew that laugh. That laugh used to bring happy memories with it. But it wasn't the same that Shepard remembered it. It was icy and critical, biting at Shepard's waning resolve. It was the last card that the beast had to play, and how it loved to play it.

"So you think you did your duty," the voice calls out.

Shepard watched as a shadow began to take form of a teenage girl.

"Daily…" His voice caught in his throat.

"Was it your _duty_ to leave Scott, me, and Amanda behind? Was it your _duty_ to not get back in time to help save us? Was it your _duty_ to watch me get my throat slit?"

Daily walked towards Shepard until she is half a meter in front of him. Her throat was sliced open, and every step she took resulted in blood oozing from the gash. After she stopped, Daily just looked at him with empty eyes.

"Day, I-" Shepard tried.

She didn't let him finish. "It was your duty to stay with us. It was your duty to protect us. It was your _duty_ to get all of us out alive!"

With that, Shepard was assaulted by the voices of Scott, John, Hannah, Amanda, Thomas, McNeil, Garza, and Carmine. He couldn't make out what exactly what they were saying, but he didn't have to. They were blaming him, rightly so.

Shepard tried to crumple from the force that the beast was pressing on him, but Daily caught him by his shirt before he was able to fall. She lifted him up so she could stare at Shepard in the eye.

"You should be dead with us."

Shepard's eyes shot open, and he quickly sat upright, gasping for air. He felt a night breeze that chilled his skin that was slick with a cold sweat. As the rest of his mind began to wake up, Shepard realized that his arm was outstretched, and his fingers were wrapped around a familiar object.

Before his mind could grasp what he was holding, Shepard's stomach roiled. He discarded the weight in his hand, tore off the sheets covering him, and ran to the bathroom. Just as he reached the toilet, the contents of his stomach spurted from his mouth. There wasn't much. Shepard learned that eating before he went to bed was a bad idea long ago.

After a few dry heaves, Shepard pulled himself up to the sink to wash the sickening, acidic taste from his mouth. Shepard eventually looked up to the mirror, hoping that he would see himself, slightly ragged and sleepy, but his face. He wasn't so lucky.

Instead of his face staring back at him, Shepard saw Daily in the mirror. Her face was twisted with rage, just like in his dream. Slowly, her face changed to Amanda who looked at Shepard pleadingly. Then the image changed to Scott, then Carmine, and then all the others that had died under his leadership.

The faces were always at the forefront. Even as the rest of the nightmare slipped away, their faces remained. They tormented him. They reminded him of those that he failed. His own personal set of demons, paraded out in front of him by the beast, by his guilt.

Finally unable to take any more self-loathing, Shepard left the bathroom and walked back into the bedroom that he rented. As he entered, he caught a slight, metallic odor in the air. Shepard placed the smell instantly.

Shepard searched the tangled sheets and found the discarded weight. It was the pistol that he kept under his pillow whenever he was on leave. He walked to the other side of the room and began to inspect the wall that he was pointing the gun at. Shepard found a small bullet hole. He shook his head.

"Well, there goes my security deposit."


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Shepard briskly walked, duffle bag in tow, toward the shuttle that would take him to his next assignment. It had been almost a week since he received his new orders and the subsequent nightmare. The dreams always got worse just before he set out, but this particular mission seemed to bring out the worst nightmare Shepard could recall.

He ran through the possible reasons for why this mission produced such a strong reaction from his psyche. Shepard knew that there was always an explanation for why his subconscious put him through hell. If he could find the reason, he could face it.

The first possible cause that came to mind was his location. Shepard was visiting Mindoir and the graves of his friends and family when he received the notice. Being surrounded by such destructive memories was not the ideal location to be called for an assignment.

However, as soon as the idea came to mind, he dismissed it. Shepard had received missions before when he was either on or leaving Mindoir. The nightmares could be slightly more intense there than usual, but he had never woken up firing his weapon. While it definitely didn't help the situation, he was certain it wasn't the true reason behind the nightmare.

Another possibility was based around the fact that Shepard was handpicked for this mission. He didn't feel like he deserved the honor. He wasn't special. He shouldn't be rewarded for being lucky enough to survive were other people around him died.

"Survivor's guilt," he remembered his two psychologists calling it. "You feel like you did something wrong because you survived while others close to you died." Their voices began to echo each other in Shepard's memory. "I'm here to tell you that you did nothing, absolutely nothing wrong. None of this is your fault, and you shouldn't blame yourself for their deaths."

Shepard knew that both psychologists, one after Mindoir and one after Akuze, were right. Logically, he did all he could do to save his family, friends, and squad mates. He made mistakes on Mindoir, but he was only sixteen at the time and put in an impossible situation. On Akuze, he railed against Lt. Diaz's poor decisions, trying to get him to understand that something wasn't right. He reasoned that none of what happened was his fault.

But that was the thing about emotions. They didn't listen to logic. They didn't heed to reason. They didn't care about rationalizations. They were primal. They were simple. They were basic. And the beast that his subconscious tormented him with made Shepard feel only one emotion: guilt.

However, Shepard knew this still wasn't the true reason for this particular nightmare. The guilt was always there even after he logically spoke to the psychologists and received a clean bill of mental health. Shepard knew it was something novel about this posting that drove his subconscious to torment him more fiercely.

He began to go over what he knew about his assignment to find the cause. Shepard was posted on the SSV _Normandy_, an advanced stealth frigate designed by both turian and human engineers. Even with the limited specs command sent to him with his new posting, Shepard knew that the boat was one of, if not the, most advanced ships in the galaxy. The techie inside him couldn't wait to receive a full overview of all the technology installed. He felt guilty for the honor, but, again, he knew it was not the root of the problem.

Shepard turned his attention to the duties he would be performing on the _Normandy_. Since it was a small ship, almost everyone on board was assigned with two or more jobs. The position that would be taking up most of Shepard's time was his job as the XO. This posting didn't worry him too much. He had been given duties with similar responsibilities from the time he graduated from the Academy until he was inducted into the N7 program. Shepard was used to the tasks required by the assignment.

His second job on the _Normandy_ was marine detail commander. This posting made him the leader of any ground team operation that the _Normandy_ found herself in. The CO gave the commands for the team, but Shepard was responsible for how they were carried out in the field. That meant he had to keep his squad of marines ready-

Shepard's eyes widened as he stopped only a few paces from the airlock that led to the shuttle that would take him to the construction yard where the _Normandy_ was being finished. The realization hit him, making so many pieces to the puzzle fit perfectly together. It was the reason why the nightmare was so much more intense. It was the reason why Shepard dreamed that he was on Akuze instead of the usual, more effective setting of Mindoir. It was the reason why all of the people that died around him showed up as soldiers instead of teenagers. His hand traced the scar that constantly reminded him of that place.

_This is the first time I'll be the permanent commander of a squad since Akuze_, Shepard thought.

Since his N7 training, Shepard had been the leader of many squads on many different missions. However, his leadership had always been temporary. Shepard had never been asked to stay at one posting and command a set group of marines since most of his platoon was wiped out on Akuze. His platoon was so decimated by the attack that everyone that it was disbanded after he left for N7 training. Shepard began to wonder about the wisdom of the CO to pick him as the leader of the ground team.

Before he could follow this line of thought much farther, Shepard recognized the sound of boots clanking against the deck. He looked behind him and saw a young man running in his direction. He was panting hard and struggling with a duffle bag much like the one Shepard was carrying. He finally caught up to the commander where he unceremoniously dropped his bag and doubled over.

"Is this… the shuttle… to the _Normandy_?" he asked between gasps.

Shepard couldn't help but smile at the young man's predicament. "Yes, it is."

"Good," the man said, finally catching his breath. "I thought I was going to miss it."

"Actually, you are almost twenty minutes early."

The young man finally straightened, his mouth open with some sort of response. As he noticed the symbol on Shepard's Alliance gear that marked him as a lieutenant commander, the man's eyes widened, and the words he was about to say stopped before they reached his lips. He stood at attention and saluted.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realize I was in the presence of an officer, sir," he said with strict military professionalism.

Shepard recognized the emblem that signified a corporal in the Alliance marines. "As you were, Corporal. What's your name?"

"Corporal Richard L. Jenkins. I am assigned to bridge security and the ground team on the _Normandy_."

"Well, that means we are going to be spending some time together. I'm-"

Jenkins interrupted him. "You're Lieutenant Commander Shepard. You were the only one out of an entire platoon to survive the thresher maw attack on Akuze. Almost everyone in the Alliance knows who you are. Certainly every marine does."

Shepard's hand moved to trace the scar on his face, but he stopped the motion. It was an impulse he had developed whenever he thought about Akuze. When he thought of Mindoir, Shepard would reach for his dog tags and touched the bracelet he kept there, the one that Daily had given him on his birthday. Both were constant reminders to him of what he had failed to protect.

Shepard smiled back at Jenkins. "Well, I'm the XO of the _Normandy_ and marine detail commander." He points a thumb toward the shuttle. "But we should get in there before it decides to leave us behind."

The marines entered the small shuttle and checked in with the pilot. They found out that they were not the only ones who were being picked up at this station. There were two more that needed to show up before they left.

The men took their seats on opposite sides of the shuttle. After a few moments, Shepard realized that Jenkins was constantly watching him. He had gotten used to the awed looked that some marines (mostly the younger ones) got in their eyes when they saw the commander for the first time. Jenkins, however, was taking it to another level.

Shepard had had enough of that. "So, Jenkins. Tell me about yourself. Where did you grow up?"

The corporal's eyes widened at Shepard's question. He quickly recovered and began to tell the commander about his life. He had grown up on Eden Prime in one of the rural portions of the planet. Jenkins had found the life boring and too slow for his liking so he signed up with the Alliance as soon as he could.

The Alliance wasn't all he thought it would be, unfortunately. Since graduating from boot, Jenkins had been put planet side for the majority of his time as a marine. He complained that he should be serving on a ship because his proficiency scores were always in the top percentile. He explained how glad he was to be on the _Normandy_ and how he couldn't wait to see some action.

Shepard was reminded of Pvt. Carmine as he listened to Jenkins. He was so enthusiastic and had such a strong desire to prove himself. Shepard just hoped that Jenkins didn't end the same way Carmine did. His hand reached for the scar on his face, and he didn't stop it this time.

Shepard refocused on Jenkins only to find that he had stopped speaking. Instead, he was focusing on the commander expectantly.

"What was that?" Shepard asked.

"Where did you grow up?" Jenkins repeated.

Instantly, Shepard's hand dropped from his scar to his dog tags under his fatigues. He felt the bracelet through his shirt.

"Mindoir," he replied. It was quiet, quick, and almost shameful.

Jenkins knew he heard of the colony before. It brought back memories of when he was much younger. It was on the news vids. His mother gasped when she heard it, and his father slammed his hands down hard on the table. Something had happened there.

Shepard watched as Jenkins' face scrunched as he tried to place where he has heard of the colony. For the third time in fifteen minutes, Jenkins' eyes widened as he remembered reports of the slaver attack (Shepard began to wonder if there was anything Jenkins wasn't surprised about). Immediately, a sorrowful look replaced the sudden recognition. Shepard knew that the dreaded "I'm sorry" was next. Fortunately, the last two members they were waiting for entered before Jenkins could say anything.

As they checked in with the pilot, Shepard rested his head against the bulkhead and closed his eyes. He had not gotten a good night's sleep since he received his new orders and hoped that the five hour ride to the dry dock would give him time to catch up. Shepard always got the most restful sleep while he was on mission. The only reason the beast allowed him to sleep while on assignment was because it couldn't torment him if he made mistakes in a firefight from lack of sleep and ended up dying. Shepard chuckled bitterly at the thought.

Shepard felt the magnetic clamps disengage and felt the shuttle begin to accelerate toward the mass relay. As he drifted off into unconsciousness, he overheard a soft whisper that emanated from the other side of the shuttle.

"Isn't that Commander Shepard?"

* * *

Shepard was sitting at the desk, the only piece of furniture in the room beside his bed and the chair he was on, looking over the datapad that held the schematics of the SSV _Normandy_. It was one of the many datapads he had received as he was ushered through meeting after meeting upon arrival. Some of the information went well over his head, but Shepard could understand most of it. He made notes on topics he wished to discuss with the engineers, hopefully making some modest improvements the designers may have overlooked.

The ship was a technological marvel. Its stealth systems were comprised of sinks built into the hull that trapped the emissions that detection protocols use to find other vessels in space. The only way to find the _Normandy_ while they were engaged was to look out the window and spot it visually. The boat could travel for hours or drift for days before the sinks needed to be discharged.

Believing he understood everything he could about the _Normandy_, Shepard exchanged the datapad with one that contained the crew roster. As he scanned through the list, he was impressed at the qualifications of each member. All of the crew scored in the top 10 percentile in their respective proficiencies and had received numerous recommendations from their commanding officers.

Shepard turned his attention to the marines assigned to the ground team. They were no different from the rest of the crew, each scoring high and receiving outstanding endorsements. He noticed that some were fairly green, like the corporal he met on the shuttle, and others were veterans.

One marine in particular caught his attention, a Staff Lieutenant Kaiden Alenko. He was listed as a Sentinel, a fancy word for a medic with biotics. What made Shepard take note of the man was one of his job: marine detail assistant. Lieutenant Alenko was over qualified for the position. Usually, it was filled by a noncommissioned officer, not one only a few ranks below the leader. It was a gross misuse of Lieutenant Alenko's abilities, and it had Shepard pondering at the implications.

Maybe they wanted Shepard to teach Alenko some of the leadership skills he had learned in the N7 program before they gave either one another post. Maybe they wanted to be prepared in case an N7 marine doesn't have what it takes to be anything other than a soldier. Or maybe it was just Shepard they didn't believe in. Regardless of the reason, it seemed as if the _Normandy_ was prepared for one of the two to leave.

A knock at the door behind him broke Shepard's train of thought.

"Enter."

As the door slid away, Shepard saw a dark man with weathered features standing on the other side. Shepard didn't even have to see the bars of a captain to know to stand and salute

"Sir," Shepard said.

"As you were," Captain Anderson replied.

Instead of sitting back down at his desk on the only chair in the room, Shepard took a seat on his bed and offered the chair to the captain.

"To what do I owe the pleasure for this visit, sir?" Shepard asked.

"I'm just making it a point to visit all of my officers when they arrive. You are the last one."

"Sorry about that, sir. I would have been here earlier, but I was on leave when I got the message and wasn't able to get back to the station for a few days."

Anderson smiled at this. "It's quite all right, Commander. When I heard you were immediately unavailable, I didn't expect to see you until the day we ship out. Aren't you still technically on leave?"

"I had accomplished what I set out to do. Any additional time was going to be spent helping in the colony or catching up on the latest tech. I prefer to be back on assignment."

"Then why did you take so much leave time if you knew it was only going to take a short time?" Anderson asked.

Shepard took a moment to word his response. "Not too many shuttles or ships heading to Mindoir these days, even with the new colony that's being established. Never know how long it's going to take to get there," he answered.

Anderson responded with an "Ah," and gave Shepard an apologetic look. Shepard was surprised with the sincerity that he found in Anderson's eyes and even more so when he didn't vocalize his apology.

"Your file says that you have some technical expertise. So, what do you think of our new ship, Commander?"

Shepard's eyes brightened. He began to spout the _Normandy_'s specifications. He commented about the stealth systems and was excited about seeing how it worked for himself. He hoped he could find some of the engineers that both worked on the _Normandy_ and the ones stationed there to talk about some possible tweaks that could be made on the systems.

Shepard had talked for nearly twenty minutes before he realized that Captain Anderson had not said a word the entire time. He was simply nodding his head and smiled at Shepard's exuberance.

"Sorry, sir. I kinda got carried away there."

Anderson chuckled. "No need to apologize. Your file said you were a tech junkie. Even had some of the upgrades you invented listed. Your instructors always said that, if you weren't so accurate with that sniper rifle of yours, you would have been an engineer."

Shepard gave Anderson a quizzical look. "You spoke to my instructors?"

Anderson winced, looking as if he had given something away that he wasn't supposed to. "Yes, I did."

"Is that normal procedure?"

"In your case, yes. It's a requirement."

"In my case, sir?" Shepard asked. "What's so special about my assignment?"

"Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to discuss that with you at this point in time. Don't worry, Commander. You will know about it when you need to."

Shepard didn't like being left in the dark. It reminded him of Akuze. "All right, sir. As long as it doesn't put my ground team at risk, I'll trust in your judgment." Shepard was surprised at how acidic the words came.

"Could you clarify what you mean by that, Commander?" Anderson asked as he adopted a stern, unflinching facade.

"Just that when we don't have all the intel, people die, sir. I don't like it when my people die because someone up the chain of command deemed it necessary to keep certain information secret. It doesn't sit well with me."

Anderson held his scrutinizing face (Shepard dubbed it the command face) for a minute longer before softening to a small grin.

"Don't worry, Shepard. I would never send you somewhere without knowing everything that you need to. I was a marine too once, before they saddled me with command."

Shepard winced when Anderson mentioned that he too was a marine. He had forgotten that Anderson was one of the first graduates from the N7 program.

"Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to second guess your judgment. I-" Shepard stopped when Anderson held up his hand and shook his head.

"No need to apologize. I expect no less from you. I would have been disappointed if you didn't feel that way." Anderson stood. "Well, I should let you get back to looking over your ground team. Welcome to the crew." He held out his hand.

Shepard stood up and took it firmly. "Thank you, sir."

Anderson turned to leave Shepard's quarters. Just as he went through the doorway, Shepard spoke.

"Oh, and sir."

"Hmm?" Anderson said as he stopped and slightly turning his head toward him.

"Once a marine, always a marine."

Anderson chuckled. "Damn straight, Shepard," he said before turning back and leaving.

* * *

The next day, Shepard found the marines that made up his ground team. He wanted to run them through some simulations before they boarded the _Normandy _for good. There were a few reasons behind Shepard's drills. First, he, like a few of the others on the team, had been on leave when he got the assignment. Shepard hasn't been able to put himself through a proper drill for almost a month now, and he desperately needed one to limber up. Secondly, the _Normandy_ was a small ship. There wasn't a lot of room to move for the action-oriented marines, and it might be awhile before he could get everyone on the ground. Finally, and most importantly, Shepard wanted to see the abilities of each marine under his command. Their strengths and weaknesses were important to know, especially when Shepard had only a few people to pick from for each mission.

Shepard walked in front of his marines who were lined up at parade rest. He looked each in the eye, analyzing, probing, and searching for any weakness. Finding nothing discernible, he finally spoke with a harsh tone.

"Usually I have a closed door policy. If my door is closed, then deal with it yourself," he barked. "Unfortunately, the bucket of bolts that we are calling our ride isn't big enough to give her XO his own quarters. So that plan is shot to hell."

Shepard heard a few chuckles come from the line in front of him. He smiled back at them.

"So that means if any of you have a problem that warrants my involvement, I better hear about it. Understood?!"

"Yes, sir!" was the response.

"Good. Now, I've been over all of your files. I must admit, you all look impressive on paper. So much so, that each of your files has had the privilege of cleaning my ass." More laughter. "Everyone knows that it's not what's in your file that matters. It's what you do on the battlefield that determines what kind of marine you are. You are supposedly the best of the best. Time to prove it! Lieutenant."

Lt. Alenko stepped up from behind Shepard and started to break the group into groups of three. Shepard turned and walked up toward the observation deck to watch and securitize each marine as they battled through the simulation. It was one of the hardest that the small station had to offer. It was an assault on small mercenary base with fifteen hostiles inside. The goal was simple: enter the base and eliminate all fifteen enemy combatants.

Just as the first group entered the simulator, Alenko entered the deck and stood next to Shepard.

"Any particular reason why I am up here and not down there, running the simulation with the rest of them?" Alenko asked.

"I need your help assessing the members in each team," Shepard responded.

It wasn't a complete lie. He did want the lieutenant to make decisions on each marine. Shepard just didn't need help doing it. He wanted Alenko picking out the faults and advantages each person presented to the leader. If he was going to replace Shepard as the ground team leader, Alenko was going to need this skill to be successful.

_He might even catch some things I miss_, Shepard thought.

As each team cycled through the simulation, Shepard and Alenko shared notes about each man and woman. Shepard was surprised about how insightful the lieutenant was. While they didn't always come to a consensus, Shepard could always see how Alenko reached his conclusion. From his assessments, he obviously had a different way of running a ground team, and it definitely wasn't bad.

Shepard allowed his troops to think for themselves and use their abilities where they saw fit. However, when he called on them, Shepard expected them to be ready to perform as he ordered. That often requires a tight squad formation where each member is no more than a few meters away from another.

Alenko seemed to be a much more laid back leader than the commander. He believed in managing the squad much less and trusting each member to perform specific tasks. That was not to say he doesn't give commands, but Shepard believed they were probably more general than his and allowed the person tasked with the job more freedom on how to execute.

The two systems seemed to be a counterpart for each other. Soon it became apparent who would be more suited from Shepard's command style and who would be more suited for Alenko's. Where Shepard saw a lone wolf that would be a liability, Alenko saw a weapon that could flank enemies without them being aware of it. Where Alenko saw a soldier with no imagination, Shepard saw an asset that could support any group she was with.

Yet, there was one problem with simulations that was irritating Shepard. They were taking too long. The quickest had been completed in five minutes. When you are outnumbered five to one, you need a quick win, or the enemy will start wearing on you with their numbers. As the last team finished the simulation with a time of seven minutes, forty three seconds, Shepard spun around and briskly walked to the waiting area. A surprised Lt. Alenko quickly fell in step behind him. As he reached the marines as they were congratulating each other, Shepard began to yell.

"What the hell are you so happy about!? You excited about that pitiful excuse for a show you put on in there? The longer you take completing the assignment, the longer your enemy has to kill you."

One of the bolder soldiers spoke up. "Sir, each one of us was in the top twenty on record for this simulation."

Shepard looked straight at the woman who spoke up. He remembered that she took command of the group she was in and led her team to earn the quickest time. Now, she was standing up for all the marines. _She could be a great squad leader_, Shepard thought.

"I thought you are the best of the best. I should have seen an entire new set of top four times. Only one of you even made it in the top ten."

"You can't expect us to perform that well with people we never worked with before, sir," another one said. Shepard noticed that it was the lone wolf this time.

"You are marines!" Shepard shouted. "Fighting with a marine at your back should be like fighting with your best friend at your back."

Shepard eyed his team. He could see the disbelief in their eyes. They thought he was full of it.

_Fine_, Shepard thought. _Time to show them how it's done_.

"Lt. Alenko," he called, never breaking his gaze on his skeptical squad.

A surprised Alenko responded, "Yes, sir?"

"Have we ever served together?"

Alenko could see where this was going. "No, sir."

"Suit up. We head in in fifteen minutes. The rest of you, upstairs. And tell the simulation engineer to randomize the layout and add five hostiles."

Ten minutes later, both Commander Shepard and Lieutenant Alenko where in the simulator room fully armored and armed, waiting for the program to start.

"You know this is crazy, right, Commander?" Alenko asked on a private com.

"Is it, Lieutenant?" Shepard asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes, it is. This is the hardest simulation the Alliance has right now. I know Pinnacle Station is working on something more difficult, but damn, sir. The squads did rather nicely, all things considering."

"Yes, they did," Shepard agreed.

"Then why the criticisms? Why challenge them further?"

"Because they can go further. All of them are good marines, deserving of every recommendation and commendation that they received. But they can be great marines. I'm going to help them get there. The first step is showing them what they are capable of."

Alenko thought this over for a moment. "That's all well and good, but why drag me into all of this?"

Shepard flashed him one of the most wolfish smiles Alenko has ever seen. "Accelerated training regimen. You skipped the showing, right to experiencing what you are capable of."

Before Alenko could reply, a klaxon sounded, and the simulator hummed to life as the program started to come to life.

"Showtime, Alenko," Shepard said, still smiling. "Let's not disappoint our audience."

In front of them, a building materialized with a door just to their right. Both marines knew that there were twenty hostiles in the base, just waiting for them to show up. Shepard moved to the left side of the door as Alenko took the right side.

"All right. I'm guessing that the engineer programmed the enemy soldiers to know that we are coming. When I open this door, we need to stay in cover until their initial volley is over," Shepard commanded. His mic was now on an open frequency so the entire squad could hear him. "After that, I want you to move in while I give you cover with my sniper rifle. Then, you return the favor, all right?"

"Yes, sir," was Alenko's simple reply.

As Shepard removed his sniper rifle from his back, Alenko wondered how effective a slow shooting gun will be at covering his movement. Usually, a quicker-firing assault rifle or pistol was the weapon of choice for covering fire. This was Shepard's idea, however, and Alenko would follow his lead.

Shepard slammed the button that opened the doors to the building. Just as Shepard had predicted, a hail of gunfire erupted from inside the building. As the shooting quieted, Shepard leaned out and fired a shot. Then another a moment later. And another.

Alenko was stunned by how quickly Shepard moved from one target to the next and how his sniper rifle had not yet overheated.

As he lined up the forth shot, Shepard finally yelled, "Any day now, Lieutenant!"

Alenko realized that he was so surprised at Shepard's efficiently to lay down cover fire that he had not yet began to move. Alenko quickly corrected his mistake and moved into the building, just as Shepard released another shot. Once he found cover, he popped out and began to fire at the targets he could find with his pistol. Shepard quickly joined him behind cover.

"How many?" he asked the lieutenant.

"Two."

"That leaves fourteen left. Let's split the room. I will go left, and you will go right. Stay close enough for support."

Alenko nodded his head. Again, he was stunned that each one of Shepard's shots hit their mark.

Shepard smiled again. "Loser buys drinks for the winner first shore leave. Go!"

Both men moved at the same time, firing at their opponents as they appeared. Shepard continued to use his sniper rifle and threw tech mines. Occasionally, he would grab his pistol with his left hand, never dropping the rifle, and fire as he found cover. A few times, Shepard called on Lt. Alenko for a biotic throw or lift.

Alenko continued to use his pistol and added his many biotic and tech attacks as they were needed. He also requested overloads and damping tech attacks from Shepard. As the fight continued, however, he began to feel the mental fatigue set it from using too many biotic attacks. It almost cost him dearly.

While Alenko was waiting for his pistol to finish its cool down cycle, a mercenary came around the box he was using for cover. Realizing that his weapon was still overheating and he didn't have enough energy to muster up a throw, Alenko resigned himself to being taken out of the simulation. Just as the hologram of the merc raised his assault rifle, a tech mine came spinning in and detonated in between the two of them. Alenko heard the merc's rifle beeping and saw it open up to dump the excess heat. He looked over at Shepard just to see him turn away from Alenko and raising his rifle to take down the next attacker. The commander had saved him by throwing a sabotage mine to overheat the hologram's weapon and prevent it from firing.

Alenko's pistol finished its cool down cycle the next instant, and he eliminated the target. He realized that he needed to pick up the pace if he didn't want Shepard to leave him behind.

The next few moments were a whirlwind of movement, tech mines, and biotics. The rest of the marines on the observation deck were stunned at the spectacle. Commander Shepard dipped in and out of cover, never stopping for more than a few seconds. He would spin, using his momentum to throw tech mines or to make himself a harder target to hit. Lt. Alenko was just as impressive, lifting and throwing hostiles with his biotics. He would often target the environment with a throw and crush those that were using the boxes for cover.

The most impressive feat was how they worked together even though they were three meters away from each other. Shepard would call for a lift on some mercs in cover, and Alenko was throwing it. Alenko would ask for a sabotage to give his weapon time to cool down, and Shepard was there with it. They looked like a team that had been working together for years, not one on their first mission.

As Alenko was finishing the merc whose shields he had overloaded, he heard Shepard's voice over the coms.

"What's your count?"

"Nine."

He saw the commander pop up out of cover and start walking over to him. As he got closer, Alenko saw a smile on his face.

"Then we got all twenty. Looks like you owe me drinks," Shepard said.

As the building around them slowly began to change back into the simulation room, Shepard looked up at the observation window where he knew his team would be.

"What's the time, marines?"

Alenko watched as all the heads in the room turned toward the clock that situated over the technician's chair. None of them spoke up, but their stunned faces were clear even to the two men in the room.

Finally, the simulation technician spoke. "All twenty hostiles killed with no casualties. Time – two minutes, thirty three seconds."

"And that, team, is how the best of the best should perform," Shepard said as stowed his weapon and walked to the exit.

Alenko's mouth was still open from the surprise as he chased after him. "That time is almost twice as fast as the best on record."

Shepard simply nodded, like the new time was trivial. "You were expecting something different, Lieutenant?"

"I knew you were good, sir. I never would have guessed you were that good though."

Shepard laughed. "Don't sell yourself short, Alenko. You were only one kill behind me, and I know that your biotics made at least four of mine easier. You were great in there, just like I expected."

At that moment, Alenko realized why Shepard received constant praise from those that had served both under and with him. It wasn't just that he was a great soldier and leader. Even though both of those were true, there was something more. When he looked at you, Shepard didn't see what you were, but what you could be. Then, he would show it to you. It is no wonder why many of the marines that served with Shepard were drafted into the N school, and quite a few from each N7 graduating class had spent some time with him.

Alenko started to think back on the two minutes and thirty three seconds he spent in combat with the commander. He has never moved that fast before or been that efficient. What was even more impressive was that Alenko had never used that much biotic power in such a short time. Shepard pushed him farther than he was willing to go by himself. The man forced him past his preconceived limit.

However, Alenko realized that, even though Shepard called on him to use his biotic powers more than he was used to, he always gave the biotic time to cool down and rest between uses. Shepard never pushed him to over-exhaustion. It was almost as if Shepard knew Alenko's limits even better than he did.

As they entered the waiting area where the rest of the ground team was waiting to greet them, Alenko remembered what Shepard had said to him earlier.

"_You skipped the showing, right to experiencing what you are capable of."_

A small smile formed on Alenko's lips as he half listened to Shepard talk about coming back in three months and making everyone run through the simulation again. _This is going to be an interesting cruise,_ the lieutenant thought.

* * *

Shepard was once again sitting in his quarters at his desk, looking over his ground team when a knock came to his door.

"Enter," he said as he turned in his seat toward the door.

The door slid away, and Kaiden Alenko quickly entered. He stood at attention and saluted. "You requested to see me, sir?"

Shepard smiled back. "Yes, I did. At ease, Lieutenant, and have a seat."

Alenko sat down on the other chair that was commandeered for this occasion. Shepard spun his chair around to face him. He handed the lieutenant a spare datapad filled with the ground team roster. Alenko gave Shepard a puzzled look.

Shepard answered the question in his eyes. "I would like your input on each marine. It will help us form squads to get the best out of each one."

The lieutenant looked down at the datapad for a moment before turning back toward Shepard. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"When it's just the two of us, Alenko, I prefer if you speak freely. And you can ease up on the protocol too. Never liked how everyone calls me 'sir' all the time," Shepard responded as he leaned back in his chair. He balanced on its back legs.

"Why do you want me here for this? I remember what you said when we were watching the simulator runs. You know these people as well as I do if not better, and I've been with them longer."

"Because you've spent time with them off duty. You know who gets along with whom better than I do. Plus, you see qualities that I tend to overlook. You're opinion on this is just as important as mine," Shepard replied easily.

Alenko's eyes slightly narrowed and appeared to be searching for something in Shepard's face. It was a scrutinizing look, one that reminded him of his mom. She used to look at Shepard like that, trying to figure out what prank he was attempting this time. Shepard reached for his chest and felt the bracelet in between his dog tags.

Finally, Shepard dropped his chair back on all fours and asked, "What is it, Alenko?"

His eyes returned to normal, and his lips were pulled into a small smile. "You're much more laid back then I thought you would be."

Shepard let out a laugh. "And what would make you think I'm uptight?"

Alenko looked down at the datapad. Shepard could see that he was searching for the right words. He knew that look well. _It always comes back to that_, Shepard thought.

"Between what I saw earlier today and what's…" Alenko hesitated for a moment. "What's in your records, I thought you would be a bit sterner."

Shepard leaned forward and caught Alenko's eye. "I want them to come together, and, to do that, they need something in common to hold on to. Hopefully, giving them a goal to strive for will do. If that doesn't work, you'll see me get mean. I really don't want to be a strict commander, but, if they need a common enemy, then I will be one.

"Now my past," Shepard continued, "is just that, in the past. I can't change it. All I can do is learn from it. And I won't let it change me."

The well-rehearsed words flowed out of Shepard's mouth. He had learned long ago to emphasize certain portions in an attempt to show how earnest he was. Yet, even with the emotions he poured in, Shepard still felt like it was scripted. He just hoped that Alenko wouldn't pick up on that.

Fortunately, he did not, instead nodding and accepting what Shepard had said. "Well, these squads aren't going to form themselves," he said.

Shepard gave a quick laugh. "We better get started then."

* * *

Shepard's eyes shot open with fright. His mouth let out a gasp. His lungs sucked in air rapidly. His heart beat uncontrollably. His mind attempted to make sense of the world around him. The image of Daily choking on her own blood slowly drifted away.

Shepard sat up, trying to calm his body's response to the nightmare. Eventually, he could feel his heart rate return to normal and was able to take in deep breaths. He searched for the chrono on his desk. It was 0300.

Shepard swung his legs off the bed and got himself ready to take a shower. The _Normandy_ was scheduled to ship out at 0600, not long enough for him to try to lie back down and get more sleep.

It was not like he would be able to get any sleep anyway. The nightmares had been persistent, more so than in the past. Usually, they tapered off as the assignment grew closer, and Shepard would enjoy peaceful and restful sleep. This time, the nightmares weren't stopping. He would wake up tangled in the sheets after tossing and turning all night. A few occasions, like this particular night, the dreams would shake him awake.

Shepard wondered how long he would be able to take this kind of abuse from his damaged psyche before he would snap. He would definitely have to take himself off the _Normandy_ if these nightmares and lack of sleep started to hinder his duties.

Shepard had thought about asking the doctors for some sleeping aids. However, even with all the medical advancements humanity has made, they were still addictive, and people who overused them eventually could not sleep without them. Trading one problem for another was not what Shepard was going to do. He would do what he has always done when he needed to get sleep: work himself out to exhaustion.

_This is going to be an interesting cruse_, Shepard thought.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

As Shepard sat in his new quarters in the _Normandy_, his mind reeled from what had occurred in the last several hours. It was the first chance he had for his brain to process everything that was thrown at him. So much had changed.

* * *

Shepard had boarded the _Normandy_, and was walking to the elevator so he could stow his gear in his footlocker on the lower deck. The elevator opened to reveal a turian in black armor. The sudden appearance of an alien on an Alliance ship caught Shepard by surprise, but he kept his face neutral. He waited for the alien to leave the elevator.

However, the turian simply stood there. His eyes scanned Shepard, seemingly taking in every detail. He could tell that the turian was appraising him. Eventually it got to be too much, and Shepard spoke up.

"I didn't realize we had a guest on board. Are you from the Hierarchy?"

"No, the Council."

The response was short, and he offered no other information. This turian was beginning to wear on Shepard.

"Well, welcome to the _Normandy_. My name is-"

"Lieutenant Commander Troy Rexford Shepard. Born on Mindoir to John and Hannah Shepard along with sister Daily Shepard. All except you died during the slaving raid when you were sixteen. When you were eighteen, you joined the Alliance military and were sent to the Academy. You graduated with honors. After the attack on Akuze that killed everyone sent except you, you were inducted into the N7 program where you excelled at the use of tech attacks and sniper rifles. Your record is noteworthy, Commander."

Shepard didn't let his surprise show. "You have me at a disadvantage. You seem to know everything about me, and I don't know even know your name."

"Nihlus Kryik, Council Spectre." Without another word, he walked out of the elevator and into Captain Anderson's room.

_Another mystery to be added to the pile_, Shepard thought. He was getting pretty tired of all the secrets that everyone seemed to have recently.

Shepard didn't have to wait long to finally get his answers to the riddles. Later that day, Captain Anderson called him into the communications room to brief him on the mission. There, Shepard learned that they were heading to Eden Prime to covertly retrieve an active beacon made by the protheans, the sentient race that went extinct tens of thousands of years ago. He also learned that Nihlus was there to see Shepard's skills firsthand because he was being evaluated for induction into the Spectres.

The pieces fell into place. The reason he had an overqualified marine detail assistant was because Alenko was the replacement if Shepard gets into the Spectres. The reason Anderson did such an extensive background check on him was to make sure Shepard was right for the job. The reason a Spectre was on board without any warning was to make sure he was up to their standards. The _Normandy_ was a test for Shepard.

However, this test did not proceed the way anyone had expected. As Eden Prime neared, they received a distress call from the planet's surface. The video showed marines under fire, bullets whizzing by and explosions occurring all around them. The pictured was full of static and never focused on the attackers. Even with the lack of useful intelligence, Captain Anderson and Shepard knew that they needed to assist.

The mission would be accomplished by two teams. Shepard took Lt. Alenko and Corp. Jenkins with him while Nihlus went on alone. Shepard didn't want to risk this mission by choosing people he wasn't comfortable with. He had gotten to know Alenko as they talked about the marine detail, and Jenkins had been stuck to Shepard every chance he could.

When his boots hit the dirt of Eden Prime, Shepard was reminded of Mindoir. This was once and idyllic little farming colony that was torn asunder by the attack. They could see burning prefab units and fields glowing in the evening sky. Scorch marks and craters dotted the land. Shepard reached up to his chest plate. Underneath the layers of armor and cloth were his dog tags with his bracelet from Daily tucked in between.

Shepard turned and saw Jenkins face. It was a look of horror mixed with worry. He hoped that the young marine would be able to handle seeing his home world burning.

Unfortunately, Jenkins wasn't ready to face what was coming. As he was heading to a cover spot, two drones swung out around a bend and opened fire. Jenkins froze at the sight, and the bullets ripped through him. Shepard and Alenko made quick work of the drones, but they were too late to save the young marine.

Unable to do anything for the man, the two moved on. The two men crested the next hill, taking out more drones on the way. Just as they were about to head down, they heard gunfire and saw a woman in armor being chase by two more drones. She hit the deck, rolled over, and destroyed both of her pursuers with her pistol.

Shepard moved to assist, but was stopped by a strange sight. Two mechs were placing a man on some sort of stand. He noticed that there were similar of the apparatuses, but they had a spike protruding from the center with a human shaped body impaled on it. Just as Shepard realized what was happening, a spike shot out from the stand, driving through the man and suspending him in the air. Seeing their job was done, the mechs turned their attention on the lone marine.

Shepard never gave them a chance to fire a shot. He tossed a sabotage mine to overload their weapons and placed two bullets right into what Shepard assumed were the optics of the advancing machines. They sputtered for a moment before finally falling into a heap on the ground. After making sure the area was cleared of any other enemies, Shepard went to check on the one person who may have some answers for him.

The woman was Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, a marine who was stationed on Eden Prime. She was on patrol when the attack started. Her squad tried to make it back to the dig site when they ran into heavy fire. Williams didn't believe anyone else made it and that their attackers were geth.

Shepard recognized the name from his time studying galactic history in the Academy. The geth were a race of synthetic beings created as a labor source by the quarians. Approximately three hundred years ago, the machines rose up against their creators and drove them from their home world. No one has seen or heard from them since. Why would they be attacking now and why here?

Shepard requested Williams to continue on with them. As they moved past the dig site and to the spaceport where they believed the beacon was moved to, the threesome found Nihlus with a bullet wound placed squarely in the back of his head. Before Shepard could take in every piece of evidence, a rustling emanated from behind some crates that were ready for shipment. All three marines raised their weapons, waiting for another attack.

Instead of a mummified husk of a person or a geth, a lone man stood up from behind the crates. The man explained that Nihlus had found another turian, one he called Saren, at the spaceport. They seemed to know each other, but, when Nihlus turned his back, Saren murdered him. He walked away with geth in tow toward the other side of the docking area.

As Williams, Alenko, and Shepard boarded the tram to follow this Saren character, Shepard couldn't help but wonder at what this turian was after. The beacon was a major find, but why would you attack the colony full of marines for it? Why employ the geth when there were a countless number of mercenary bands waiting to get paid? How did Saren even get the geth to follow him into battle? There were too many unanswered questions.

Shepard was unable to think any more on these riddles for, as the tram came to a stop, a bomb was found lying there, waiting to detonate. Shepard quickly disarmed it and the four other bombs they found as they fought their way to the beacon thru geth troopers.

They cleared the area of all hostiles, and Shepard called the _Normandy_ for pick up. As he looked back over his shoulder toward the beacon, he noticed Williams was struggling with an unseen force. Shepard raced toward her and finally reached Williams just as she was lifted up. He jumped up and grabbed her, tossing her toward Alenko and safety.

Then, it seemed the force that Williams was fighting concentrated its fury onto Shepard. He was wrenched into the air. His mind felt like it was being torn opened as images flooded into him. He saw pictures of machines raining fire and other, ancient species running for their lives. Just as he felt that he could no longer take this torture, Shepard felt a shockwave slam into his chest, and he was hurdled back. He heard Alenko and Williams shout at him, as unconsciousness enveloped him.

It would be about fifteen hours before he finally regained consciousness. Shepard woke up to Williams watching him closely, asking if he was all right. The ship's medical officer, Dr. Chakwas, shooed her away and began checking his vital signs. Soon, Captain Anderson entered the room and debriefed the commander.

What the CO had to say was disconcerting. Saren was one of the Council's best Spectres much like Nihlus. However, he did not share Nihlus' views on humanity's readiness for one of their own obtaining the position of a Spectre. If Anderson's suspicions were correct, Saren would stop at nothing to prevent humanity's rise.

Anderson sent Shepard toward the _Normandy_'s cockpit to let the pilot, Jeff "Joker" Moreau, the all clear to dock at the Citadel, the home to the governing body of the galaxy and millions of people from many different races. Here, the captain and commander will have to explain how the mission on Eden Prime went FUBAR.

On his way, he ran into Chief Williams.

"It's good to see you up and around, Commander. The crew needs some good news after Jenkins. How are you feeling?"

"A little bit of a headache, but nothing too serious. I'm more worried about you, Chief. It looked pretty bad down there. How are you holding up?"

"Seeing friends die is tough, but it comes with being a marine. But watching my entire squad being wiped out… And you never get used to seeing dead civilians."

Behind the tough exterior, Shepard could see a soldier that doubted her abilities. "You are a good soldier to survive as long as you did alone, Williams, and I wouldn't have been able to finish the mission without you. The _Normandy_ is lucky to have you assigned to her."

The corners of Williams' mouth rose slightly at Shepard's approval. "Thank you, Commander. It's nice when someone makes you feel welcome."

Shepard smiled as a reply and excused himself to meet with Joker. On the way, he realized that he felt more energetic and rested than he has been over the past few days. The beast seemed to leave him alone while he was knocked unconscious from the beacon. It was almost as if his guilt ridden subconscious didn't know what to do with all these new images in his head.

Shepard let out a quick laugh. _Guess it takes an exploding prothean beacon to get a good night of rest_, he thought.

Just as he arrived, the _Normandy_ reached the mass relay that would place them in Serpent Nebula that housed the Citadel. As they closed in on the station itself, Shepard moved toward the armory to get his gear ready and tell Williams and Alenko to suit up for their meeting with Council.

They met with the human ambassador, Donnell Udina, at the human embassy with Chief Williams and Lieutenant Alenko. Udina quickly took them to meet with the Council in hopes to prove that Saren was a traitor and get him disbanded from the Spectres. However, they had little proof and their efforts were proved fruitless.

After the meeting, Anderson and Udina tasked the three marines to find evidence that would prove that Saren was a traitor and responsible for the attack on Eden Prime. They gave Shepard two leads to start with, a turian called Garrus Vakarian who was C-Sec's, the local police force, officer charged with investigating the Saren case and a volus named Bara Von who worked for the Shadow Broker, an elusive and very knowledgable information broker. Shepard decided that keeping this situation out of the private sector was for the best and sought out Officer Vakarian.

The trio finally caught up to him in a local clinic. Unfortunately, they weren't alone with the turian. A group of armed thugs were there as well, seemingly threatening the doctor of the clinic. Shepard overheard one of them say something about a quarian before they spotted the three marines and turned the doctor into a human shield.

Vakarian, who had been inching slowly closer to the thugs while staying out of sight, swung out and shot the man who held the doctor hostage directly in the head, mere inches away from the doctor herself. They both took cover as Shepard, Alenko, and Williams took care of the rest. Once the gun fire quieted, Vakarian stood up and approached the group.

"Excellent timing, Shepard. Your distraction gave me the clear shot I needed to take him out," he said.

Shepard's eyes narrowed in response. "Can you make that shot every time, Officer Vakarian?"

"I don't see-"

"Can you make that shot every time?" Shepard asked again. His voice wasn't harsh, but demanded a truthful response.

The turian was caught off guard by the tone and his mandibles flicked in surprise. "I… I don't know."

"Then I believe you should work on it until you know for certain that it's trustworthy. That was one hell of shot, but too dangerous unless you know that you can make it every time."

The turian stood straighter at the criticism, but his voice had a hint of pride as he respond with a "Yes, sir." He then turned to the doctor that the four had just saved. "Are you all right, Dr. Michel?"

Her voice came out with a thick Western European accent. "Yes, thanks to all of you."

Shepard then quizzed her about what she knew about Saren. Dr. Michel told them that she had helped a young quarian girl that had a small suit puncture and told the doctor that she had some information that would prove that Saren was responsible for the attack on Eden Prime. The quarian wanted to trade it to the Shadow Broker for protection. Dr. Michel sent her to a man named Fist, one of the Broker's agents. Vakarian explained that Fist no longer worked for the Shadow Broker and instead threw his chips in with Saren. Shepard knew that the young alien would be killed if they didn't save her.

As he turned to leave, the turian asked, "Commander Shepard, you've seen what I can do. Let me come with you."

Shepard didn't say anything for a while, but simply looked at the turian in the eyes. Finally, he stuck his hand out. "Welcome to the team, Officer Vakarian."

The turian's mandibles twitched in what Shepard believed to be a smile and took his hand. "Please, Commander Shepard. You can call me Garrus."

Shepard smiled back and gave a hearty shake even though the turian's three fingered hand felt awkward in his own. He then turned to the other two marines. "Chief, stay here just in case more of Fist's people come by to harass the good doctor. Garrus, Lieutenant, you're with me. Let's go pay a visit to Mr. Fist."

As Garrus led them to Fist's club, Alenko came up to the Shepard. "Are you sure we can trust him, Commander? I mean, he's turian after all," he asked quietly.

"Did you notice his face when he was talking about Saren? There was disgust and contempt there. But if it would make you feel better, we should ask," Shepard responded.

Shepard raised his voice so that both men could hear him. "Hey, Garrus. Why are you so eager to hunt Saren down? I mean, I hear he is one of the best Council Spectres. And he is one of your own. Why would you want to help us humans to bring down another turian?"

"Saren is hiding something. Everything he does is classified so I couldn't get anything concrete on him, but I think he's responsible for everything you say he is and more. He's a disgrace to all turians, and I'm going to prove it," Garrus said without stopping.

Alenko asked another question. "How can you be so sure that Saren is a traitor?"

"You don't work at C-Sec for as long as I have without picking up a few tricks or learning to trust your gut. And my gut is telling me that Saren is dirty."

Shepard turned toward Alenko and quietly asked, "Satisfied, Lieutenant?"

"For now."

Shepard looked forward and tried to make sense of where their new turian member was leading them. He began to recognize landmarks and quickly understood where they were heading. Fist's club was Chora's Den, a small, sleazy club. The commander was forced to go there during his search for Garrus, and he hoped that he never had to come back.

As they neared the establishment, Shepard noticed that something was not right. He couldn't feel the thumping of the floor from the heavy bass. The lights just outside were shut off. As they saw the door, they realized it was locked. Fist knew they were coming.

Shepard quickly checked his motion detector. "We have movement in there, but it's obviously not customers. Let's get ready for a fight, people."

Shepard pulled his sniper rifle from his back while Garrus removed his assault rifle and Alenko readied his pistol. They hacked the door and stormed the bar, taking cover behind tables as they systematically removed hostiles. Shepard watched Garrus as he worked through the room. The turian was a sure shot with his weapons and was well versed in tech attacks. He was a bit reckless for Shepard's liking, however, taking chances that were unnecessary. The commander still saw great potential.

They quickly made their way to Fist's office in the back of the club. After a short firefight, they quickly subdued Fist with a concussion grenade. Shepard quickly walked up to Fist, lifting him and slamming him against the wall.

"Where's the quarian?" Shepard asked fiercely.

"Screw you," Fist sneered.

Shepard slammed him again. "You better start talking, or I may just have to let the Shadow Broker know about your switch in allegiance. I bet he isn't as lenient as I am."

Fist's face twisted into an expression of horror. "You wouldn't…"

Shepard's eyes narrowed. "Try me."

Fist decided not to try. "The quarian said she would only meet with the Shadow Broker. But no one meets the Broker face to face. But she doesn't know that. So I set up a meeting with one of Saren's agents on the Citadel."

"Where is the meet happening?"

"In the alleyway! It's happening right now!" Fist shouted in desperation.

The commander abruptly dropped him and started to turn away. "She better be there, or I will be back for you."

As he left Chora's Den, Shepard contacted Williams on the coms. "Chief, meet us in the alleys next to Chora's Den. There's a quarian there that may have information that could prove Saren's guilty. Keep her alive. There may be other hostiles in the area."

"On my way," Williams responded.

Shepard closed the comm and spoke to the two men trailing him. "Let's pick it up people. I'm not about to let this girl die."

They raced toward the meeting spot and found the young quarian fleeing for cover from two salarians and a turian in heavy armor. A moment later, a concussion grenade exploded in the midst of the would-be killers, throwing the salarians to the ground and disorienting the turian.

He shouldered his sniper rifle and took aim at the turian. Shepard pulled the trigger and watched as his head snapped back and his body going limp. Garrus and Alenko made quick work of the two salarians. The three men remained ready, waiting for any other assailants, as they moved toward the quarian. When they reached her, they finally lowered their weapons.

"Are you all right?" Shepard asked.

"I'm fine. I can handle myself," the quarian snapped. She quickly realized how she sounded and softened her tone. "Not that your assistance was unwanted," she said quietly, her hands moving over each other.

Shepard wasn't offended. He knew what it was like being young and alone in the world. She was just trying to prove to herself that she was able to handle whatever the galaxy threw at her. "I see that now. You've had some training. I bet you can be pretty deadly with that shotgun you have tucked back there."

"I know how to protect myself. We quarians don't go on our Pilgrimage without learning how. But err… why are you back here?" Her hands never stopped their nervous movement.

"We had a little meeting with Fist, and he told us about how he set you up. He is no longer an agent of the Shadow Broker. He's Saren's man now."

Garrus chimed in. "Poor career change, if you ask me."

"Fist also told us that you might have some information that Saren is a traitor," Shepard continued.

"Then I may be able to repay you for your assistance. I have a recording that I'm sure you would like to hear, but can we do it somewhere else? I don't want to be in this alley any more than I have to."

Just as she finished her sentence, Williams finally arrived.

"Glad you could join us, Chief," Shepard said with a smile. "We are going to escort Miss…"

After a few awkward seconds, the quarian finally realized what the commander was asking. "OH! Tali. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

Shepard's smile never faded. "Escort our new friend, Miss Zorah nar Rayya, to the human embassy. Let's move."

When the group arrived at the embassy, Ambassador Udina was less than thrilled to see them, complaining about the number of firefights that seem to follow Shepard. His attitude quickly changed when he heard about the evidence that the quarian was offering. After hearing the recording of Saren and an unknown voice take responsibility for the attack on Eden Prime, Udina believed that it was enough to prove of Saren's betrayal and needed to be taken to the Council immediately.

Captain Anderson chimed in. "What was that about the 'return of the Reapers?'"

"I saw something about the Reapers in the geth hard drive. They believe them to be some sentient machines. They revere them as gods," the young quarian offered.

Udina tapped his chin. "Maybe Saren used them to get the geth to cooperate with him."

As the group guessed at the meaning behind the unknown woman's words, Shepard was reminded of the vision he saw on Eden Prime. He remembered seeing death and destruction. Yet, in between those pictures, there were flashes of machinery. The name "Reapers" resonated with these images.

"Reapers…," Shepard said quietly.

Alenko overheard him. "What was that, Commander?"

Everyone in the room went quiet to hear what Shepard had to say.

"I think I'm beginning to understand the beacon on Eden Prime," Shepard began. "It was a warning about the Reapers. They must have come and attacked the protheans. It could be the reason they are gone."

After a moment, Udina spoke. "Interesting. We should bring this up to the Council when we show them this evidence. I expect you and your squad to be there, Commander. If you will excuse me, I have some things to take care of before I head up there."

As the group of soldiers was leaving, Tali'Zorah spoke up. "Take me with you, Commander. You saw what I could do. You could use me."

Shepard was a little skeptical why the quarian wanted to join a bunch of people she just met. "Why?"

Zorah's hands began their nervous wringing. "Wha… what do you mean why?"

Shepard was impressed that the young quarian didn't answer outright. It was a loaded question disguised as a simple one. "Why do you want to join me? I'm only an Alliance soldier. My obligation to this mission may be over as soon as the Council is done deciding on what do to about their rogue Spectre. I can't bring you on an Alliance ship without clearance, which I doubt I could get. So, why?"

Tali'Zorah looked down in what appeared to be a defeated look, and her hands continued their motions. Shepard, however, knew it was just her deciding how far she was willing to take this request.

She finally lifted her head, stopped her hands, and looked at Shepard with resolute eyes. "I may not have known what I was getting myself into when I scanned that geth hard drive, but I am determined to see this through. Even if it's just a trip to the Council chambers, I'm going with you until the end."

Shepard let out a small chuckle and said, "Welcome aboard, Miss Zorah nar Rayya. Let's get to that meeting."

Her eyes brightened. "Thank you, Commander. And you can just call me Tali."

"All right, Tali." Shepard turned to the rest of the team. "Let's go people. It's not polite to keep the Council waiting."

As they made their way to the upper levels of the Presidium, Shepard noticed that his group began to draw more and more leers from people as they passed by. He thought it was just because there was a group of five people walking around heavily armed. Shepard finally understood the true reason after they took the elevator to the Council room.

"HEY! You can't be up here!" a turian C-Sec officer yelled after the group passed.

Shepard quickly turned around and approached the man. "Excuse me, officer, but I have clearance to be up here and talk with the Council."

"I'm not talking about you, Commander. I'm talking about that quarian vagrant that sneaked in with your group." The word "quarian" was spat out venomously. "She probably thought she could sneak in here and steal from the ambassadors and dignitaries here."

Shepard looked at Tali. Her head was down and hangs moving over each other. Her shoulders sank dejectedly. Shepard motioned toward her and responded. "She didn't sneak in here with my team. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya is a respected member of my crew and should be treated as such." Shepard crossed his arms. "I don't appreciate a member of my team being treated like a common criminal, officer."

The turian balked at the commander's rebuke. Shepard didn't wait for a response and walked back toward the Council platform. As he walked past Tali, he put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and gave her a smile when she looked up at him. Her eyes instantly brightened.

"Thank you, Commander," she whispered.

"No one talks about my people like that," was his response.

As the group approached the Council, people gave the group a wide berth. The incident near the elevator irked Shepard, and he walked with an authority that begged to be challenged again. No one took up the offer.

It wasn't until they reached the top of the steps and Captain Anderson before Shepard finally adopted a less threatening posture. As they proceeded to the meeting, they overheard the last few words of the Tali's recording.

"You wanted proof! There's your proof. Saren is responsible for the attack on Eden Prime, just like I said," Udina said smugly.

"This evidence is irrefutable. Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and branded a traitor to the Council," replied the turian councilor.

The asari councilor spoke up. "I know that second voice. It is Matriarch Benezia, one of our most revered advisors."

"Another traitor to her race," Udina spat. "We need to send people out to apprehend them. Mobilize the fleet."

It was the salarian's turn to speak. "We cannot. Saren has escaped into the Terminus Systems. We are not about to start a galactic war by sending our fleets in there. His status is gone, and he can no longer move freely in Council space. That is all we can do for now."

Udina was on the verge of becoming infuriated. "That's not good enough! That crazy turian needs to be taken down before he-"

"There may be another way," the asari councilor interrupted. "Maybe we only have to send one person after him." She turned her gaze towards Shepard. "Someone who has faced Saren and his geth before and survived. Of course, he will need to be a representative of the Council's authority."

"No!" the turian councilor objected. "It's too soon. Humanity isn't ready to have one of its own inducted into the Spectres."

"Commander Shepard has proven himself to be trustworthy and an exceptional soldier," the salarian councilor countered. "He is an exemplar of his species and should be given the honor of joining the Spectres."

Finally, the turian councilor relented, nodding his approval without meeting his fellow councilors' eyes.

"Commander Shepard, please step forward," the asari started. "It is the decision of this Council that you be granted the full powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel."

"Spectres are not trained, but chosen. They are individuals who are forged in the fire of service and battle, whose actions elevate them above the rank and file," the salarian said.

The asari continued. "Spectres are an ideal, a symbol, the embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."

It was the turian's time to speak. "Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."

"You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your species," the asari finally concluded.

"I am honored," Shepard said. "But what about the Reapers Matriarch Benezia spoke of?"

"We cannot do anything official without some proof that these 'Reapers' exist," the asari councilor responded.

"But that is why we created the Spectres, so they can do as they see fit. If you believe that these Reapers exist and a danger to the galaxy, then you should combat this threat," the salarian councilor continued.

"Good hunting, Commander," the asari councilor finished.

Udina moved forward next to Shepard. "You are going to need a ship and supplies. Captain Anderson and I will get all of that situated. Meet us at the docks when you're ready, Commander." He then turned and quickly walked away, almost dragging Anderson with him.

"You would think he would be more appreciative," Williams commented.

"He's a politician. Appreciation shows that he didn't think he was entitled to the decision. Udina is just doing his job," Shepard remarked.

Garrus chuckled. "Even snakes find their place in life."

Alenko smirked, and Tali's head tilted in an expression that Shepard was beginning to realize was the quarian's smile. Williams tried to look at Garrus incredulously, but Shepard saw the corners of her mouth fighting off a smile.

"All right, all right. Let's go see what Udina has in store for us behind that forked tongue," Shepard said and walked toward the docks.

As the group reached the elevator that would lead them to the _Normandy_ docking area, Shepard spotted a very large, very intimidating krogan standing in his way. Williams' and Garrus' hand closed the distance to their pistols. Shepard kept his relaxed façade, but he was ready for any potential problem. Krogan were not known for their gracious nature.

"Are you Shepard?" the krogan asked. His voice was so low and rumbling to the point it almost shook Shepard's body.

"Yes, that's me. You have me at a disadvantage."

The large krogan ignored Shepard's implied question. "The Shadow Broker hired me to show Fist what happens when you betray him. I hear you already finished that job." The krogan took a threatening step forward.

Shepard heard weapons being freed from their holsters. Shepard glanced back and saw Williams and Garrus with their pistols drawn and Alenko glowing blue as he prepared a biotic attack. Tali's eyes were wide in surprise at the sudden show of force.

"Easy people," Shepard said calmly while throwing up his arm. "Weapons down."

The three soldiers were reluctant, but eventually lowered their weapons. They did not holster them, and Shepard could tell they were still on edge.

The krogan roared in laughter, surprising everyone. "You got a quad, human. Most wouldn't tell their crew to lower weapons in front of a krogan battlemaster. I like you. Here, my payment for taking care of Fist." He raised his three fingered hand and offered a credit chit.

Shepard took the chit from the krogan, but asked, "Why are you giving me this? Why didn't you just take the money and walk away."

He scoffed. "Because I have self-respect. I'm not going to take credit for work I didn't do. You did the job, you get paid. And before you go, I have another offer for you. Take me with you." The krogan eyed the group behind Shepard. "You and I both know you could use a more… experienced soldier on your team." His face formed a wicked smile.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Williams snarled.

Shepard interrupted before any further complaints could be vocalized. "Why would you want to join us?"

"I hear you're going after Saren. Sounds like a good fight, and one good fight is as good as another." His smile never faded.

_At least he's honest about it, and I sure could use a battle-hardened krogan on my team_, Shepard thought. "Welcome to the team." He offered his hand.

The krogan took it. "The name is Wrex."

Shepard recoiled slightly when he heard what sounded very close to his childhood nickname. His hand instinctively went toward his dog tags under his armor, but he stopped the motioned. "Welcome aboard, Wrex." Shepard made sure to pronounce the "W."

Shepard turned toward the four people behind him. "All right. The elevator won't be able to hold all six of us. Lieutenant, make sure the chief and Garrus get to the _Normandy_ on the second trip. I'll take Tali and Wrex with me. They will probably be a little bit more difficult to explain to Udina and Captain Anderson." The elevator opened, and the three walked in. "See ya, at the top."

As the doors closed behind them, Wrex spoke. "What's with the helmet, quarian? Are all of you shy, or do you not believe in outsiders seeing your faces?"

"My name is Tali, and no. Living in the sterile environment on the ships of the Flotilla has left our immune systems weakened. We can no longer survive outside our suits."

"Of course you couldn't. Anything that isn't constantly challenged weakens."

The awkward silence that followed only lasted for the short time until the elevator reached its destination. As Shepard stepped out, however, he was met with another awkward situation. Councilor Udina and Captain Anderson stood next to the _Normandy_ docking tunnel. Anderson looked less than thrilled. Something was amiss, and Shepard didn't like it.

"Ah, Commander, there you are," Udina said as he saw the group approaching them. "We have all the details straightened out. Captain Anderson will be stepping down as the commanding officer of the _Normandy_ for you to take over, effective immediately."

Anderson stepped forward with a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. "She's all yours now, Shepard. Take good care of her."

Udina waved his hand in an impatient gesture. "Yes, yes, yes. Can we move on now? We have a few leads for you, Commander. There are reports of geth around one of our colonies on Feros and on the corporate planet of Noveria. There is also a Dr. Liara T'Soni that you could look for. She is Matriarch Benezia's, the other voice on the recording, daughter. She is supposedly on a prothean dig site in the Artemis Tau cluster."

"Then we should head there first. I want to find out as much as possible about Saren and his plans. Maybe Dr. T'Soni will know something about them," Shepard responded.

The elevator opened behind them then to reveal Garrus, Williams, and Alenko. Udina eyed the turian, quarian, and krogan suspiciously before finally saying, "Are you sure about these… aliens on the _Normandy_?"

"Yes," Shepard answered without a hint of doubt. "Is that going to be a problem, Ambassador?"

Udina straightened. "Not at all, Commander. You are a Spectre. Just remember that you are still a part of the Alliance, and your actions reflect on humanity."

Shepard smirked. "I'll be on my best behavior."

"Yessssss. I don't know whether to be assured or worried with that answer. I have other pressing matters to attend to, however. Captain Anderson can answer any further questions you may have. Commander." He slightly bowed his head and headed to the elevator

While he was still in earshot, Wrex commented, "Slimy little pyjak, ain't he."

If Udina heard the comment, he didn't show it. The other group finally caught up with the others, and Shepard filled them in on what just happened.

"Sounds more like forced retirement instead of 'stepping down,'" Alenko said.

"Either way, it needed to be done. Shepard needed a ship, and what is better than the _Normandy _to fill that role. I can't say I'm excited about my next assignment though." Anderson grimaced at the thought.

Shepard couldn't contain his curiosity. "And what would that be?"

"Military Advisor to Ambassador Udina."

Alenko and Williams chuckled. Wrex let out a full laugh.

Shepard couldn't help but smile. "My condolences."

"I don't have to put up with you guff, Commander." Anderson's words, however, was conflicting with the smile on his face. "But I've taken enough of your time. You better get going."

Shepard stood at attention and saluted Captain Anderson. Williams and Alenko followed suit. Anderson returned the gesture.

"Good hunting, Shepard."

"Thank you, sir." With that, Commander Shepard and the others moved into the _Normandy_.

* * *

Shepard sat back in his chair in the CO cabin of the _Normandy_. The gravity of the situation finally hit him. He was the commander of the most advance ship in the galaxy. He was responsible for her entire crew.

The commander found his hand caressing the scar on his face. He knew that he was prepared for the duty. He had proved himself to both the Alliance and the Council. Yet, even with all that knowledge, there was that lingering doubt. The beast was still there. Shepard had hoped that it disappeared after the beacon explosion, but he had little faith that it would. It came back with a vengeance with Shepard's sudden promotion and new Spectre status. It seemed to want to make up for the lost time and attacked him even now.

He knew that the uncertainty and guilt he felt would soon overpower him if Shepard stayed here thinking about it. He promptly stood up and headed out of the small room.

"Might as well get a feel of where the crews' heads are at," he mumbled to himself as he left.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

As Shepard left his quarters, he bumped into something inflexible and short. He heard a startled cry as he quickly tried to separate himself. Shepard looked down to see Tali standing in front of him.

"Oh! I… I'm sorry, C-c-commander Shepard. I, err, I was just about to knock on your door to, umm, to…" She trailed off and her hands nervously moved over one another.

Shepard smiled at the nervous, young quarian, and all sense of doubt that plagued him vanished. "Please, Tali. You don't have to call me commander. I never was one for titles. Now, what can I do for you?"

"Ahh, okay. Well, umm, I just wanted to ask…" She paused for a moment, gathering the courage. Her hands kept moving. "To ask what you what you wanted me to do when we're on board this ship."

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"Umm, well, on the Rayya, the ship I was born on, I was in engineering before I was sent off on my Pilgrimage."

Shepard watched her closely as he asked his next question. "Did you like your post?"

Tali's eyes lit up. "Very much so. I've always liked being an engineer in the Fleet."

"Then that's where you will go. Report to Chief Engineer Adams for your assignment one deck down. I'll let him know you are coming."

Her head tilted in a smile. "Thank you, Commander."

"Taliiiiii," Shepard said with playful admonishment.

She let out a small giggle. "Right. Thanks, Shepard."

"Better. Now get going. You got a lot to learn about your new job and the _Normandy_."

Tali nodded, quickly turned, and headed toward the elevator. Shepard brought up his omnitool and called down to engineering.

"Engineer Adams, this is Commander Shepard."

"Go ahead, Commander," Adams replied a moment later.

"There will be a young quarian coming down to engineering. I assigned her to you. Make sure she gets clearance to study the ship. We can't have an engineer who doesn't know the _Normandy_. Her name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

"A quarian? This should be interesting. We'll take care of her, don't you worry."

Shepard smiled at the response his chief engineer gave. Unlike Udina, he didn't have that negative tone when Adams heard about Tali's race. He was genuinely optimistic and interested in how his new team member would fare. Shepard was glad because adjusting to an Alliance ship could potentially be an uncomfortable experience for someone as young as Tali.

"Thanks, Adams."

"Any time, Commander. Adams out."

Shepard turned to look at the mess hall. It was mostly empty. Only a pair of crewmen was sitting at the table, drinking coffee, and waiting for their shifts to begin. Just as he was about to head toward the elevator, someone called out to him.

"Hey, Shepard."

The commander turned and saw that it was Lieutenant Alenko. He was standing in front of terminal, performing his new duties as marine detail commander. Since Shepard's promotion to CO of the _Normandy_, Alenko took that position while Williams took over as marine detail assitant. Navigator Pressly, as the next highest officer on board, took over Shepard's other job as XO.

"Hey, Lieutenant. How do you like your new duties?"

"It's nothing too difficult, but I don't know how you did this and perform XO duties. The stack paperwork of both jobs would be daunting."

"You have to remember; I was only the XO for three days. There wasn't a lot to deal with during that time. How are the marines holding up?"

"They are exciting about working with the new human Spectre. I've heard a couple of them talk about how they can't wait to see what kind of trouble you get us into," Alenko said with a smile.

Shepard let out a small laugh. "Well, we are chasing a rogue Spectre. They will probably get their wish. Keep them ready, Alenko. You and Williams will be their leaders on the ground. I will be taking people from our new additions for my squad."

"Of course, Commander. Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Alenko, remember what I said about when it's just you and me?"

"Well then how about you call me Kaiden instead of Alenko when we are off the record. Hearing my last name always reminds me of my drill sergeant."

Shepard smiled. "Fair enough, Kaiden."

Kaiden briefly smiled, but quickly his face grew concerned. "Are you okay, Shepard?"

Shepard felt the trepidation that he had tried to suppress surface again. He attempted to hide his anxiety from Alenko by covering it with an arched eyebrow and answering. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"In case you haven't noticed, a lot has happened to you in the past three days. We got dropped off on Eden Prime as it burned. I figured it couldn't have been easy for you. Hell, it wasn't easy for me. And then you took that hit from that prothean beacon and were knocked out for the better part of a day. Next, instead of getting time to recover, we spent the majority of our time on the Citadel running around and getting shot at. And now, you are the new CO of the _Normandy_ and the first human Spectre. Call me a worrier, but I think most people would be fried by now."

Shepard slightly nodded. "You're right. It has been a lot, but I'm all right. We have some downtime as we make our way to the Artemis Tau cluster to wind down a bit. I appreciate the concern though, Kaiden."

Alenko smiled. "That's what I'm here for: protecting my CO from the stuff that goes bump in the night."

Shepard laughed. "My own knight in shining armor. Unfortunately, I don't think we can fit your white horse in the storage compartment. I guess you will have to do without."

Kaiden's smile widened. "Just as well. I would probably be falling off more than actually riding the thing."

"I should go and let you get back to that mountain of work I'm sure you have."

"Talk at you later, Shepard," Alenko said as he turned back toward the terminal in front of him.

Shepard turned and made his way to the elevator. He wanted to get a sense of where the crew was. Like Alenko had said, a lot had happened in the past couple of days. The crew did not need to be pushed too hard right out of the gate. Shepard couldn't imagine that this mission would end quickly. Chasing Saren would challenge their endurance, and he needed the _Normandy_ and everyone inside running at their best in order to succeed.

He reached the elevator and hit the button that would take him to engineering, armory, and cargo hold. The majority of the new crew that Shepard had picked up within the last few days was supposedly staying in the lower levels of the ship. Tali would hopefully be in engineering. Williams would probably be looking over and disassembling the crew's weapons. Shepard noticed that Garrus and Wrex followed Williams into the elevator so they should be down there as well.

As the doors opened, Shepard spotted Williams by the armory bench working over a broken down sniper rifle. Scanning the rest of the large cargo hold, he found Garrus working on the ground transport vehicle called the Mako. Wrex was standing by the end of the armor lockers next to some crates. There was no sign of Tali so she was probably in engineering already. Deciding to leave the other two to their work for now, Shepard approached the large krogan.

Wrex saw him coming. "Shepard."

"Hey, Wrex. I'm just trying to get a sense of where the team's heads are. Any thoughts about our mission?"

"Nope," he responded simply.

"So no worries or concerns? Most would have something more to say about chasing a rogue Spectre."

"Like I told you before, one battle is as good as another. You were the closest fight I found after my contract for Fist was done. Figured following the first human Spectre around would lead to some good skirmishes."

"So there's no other reason for following me? This could just be a wild goose chase. We may never catch up to Saren."

Wrex chuckled. "Oh you will. I have no doubt about that."

Shepard crossed his arms and looked at the alien incredulously. "How can you be so sure?"

"In the six hours you were on the Citadel, you fought against twenty people and proved one of the Council's best Spectre's was dirty when the turian C-Sec officer over there couldn't do it in twenty four."

Shepard was reluctant to take all the credit for proving Saren's traitorous actions. "Without the earlier leg work Garrus provided, I wouldn't have been able to prove anything."

"Uh huh," Wrex said. A smile grew on his face as he leaned closer. "And what about the race of sentient robots that no one has seen in almost three hundred years? Did you have help finding them too?"

Shepard didn't have an answer. He would like to say that it wasn't true, that it was just happenstance that puts him in all the troubling situations that he has lived through. Deep down, however, even Shepard didn't believe it.

When he didn't respond, Wrex continued. "Trouble finds you, Shepard; it's the kind of trouble that arrives with big explosions and a lot of gun fire. Just the kind we krogan look for."

Shepard finally relaxed his arms and smiled. It was a gesture to disguise the apprehension he felt inside. "Well, I hope we find enough trouble to keep you entertained, Wrex. I should go."

Wrex nodded. "Shepard," he said as he leaned on the supply crates behind him.

Shepard walked along the armor lockers to his. His weapons and armor had been dangerously ignored considering how frequently they have been used. While he believed in Gunnery Chief Williams' abilities to keep everything in good repair, Shepard found comfort in the routine of disassembling, cleaning, modifying, and reassembling them. He could definitely use it right now.

When he opened his locker, he noticed that the workhorse of his arsenal, his sniper rifle, was missing. Shepard glanced at the work bench that Williams was standing over. She was still inspecting a partially broken down sniper rifle. Shepard grabbed his pistol, leaving the armor for later, and headed toward Williams.

"Mind if I join you, Chief?"

Williams jumped at the sound of his voice and quickly turned to face and salute him. "Oh, Commander! Sorry, sir. I didn't hear you coming."

Shepard flashed her a disarming smile. "At ease, Williams. And you can lighten up on the protocol when it's one on one."

Williams lifted one eyebrow. "Fraternizing with the crew, Commander?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I just want to get an honest sense of where your mind is. If that is considered fraternizing, then so be it. If you don't want to potentially break regulations, Chief, then I'm not going to make you.

"You should know something, though. I always listen to the opinions of my crew, regardless of how they are presented. People have come to me following protocol, casually, or even in fits of rage. Most people in the Alliance aren't used to my laid back way of handling opinions. So, I find that it's quicker if I extend the invitation to my people."

Shepard turned toward the work bench and began to work on breaking down the pistol, leaving a stunned Williams gawking at him. He had already disassembled much of the firing mechanism when he felt the air shift next to him as Williams returned to her work.

By the time she spoke again, Shepard had most of the pistol stripped. "Sorry, Shepard. I didn't mean to jump on you with regulations."

"No apology necessary, Williams. Not everyone likes the way I command, but it's the best way I know how." He caught her eye and showed her a grin. "It has seemed to work for me so far."

She gave a small smile back before her eyes took a hard edge Shepard hadn't seen before. "Still, I feel like I should explain. I'm a bit wary when my CO starts acting unusual. It usually means he wants me off his command. Doesn't want a… well, you know."

Shepard thought of potential reasons why a commanding officer would want Williams removed from his command. When he couldn't think of anything substantial, he said,"Actually, I don't."

Williams' eyes looked at him quizzically. "You mean it's not in my file?"

Shepard shook his head. "All that's in your file are exceptional test scores and a list of crap assignments."

The chief let out a small laugh, but one that wasn't filled with amusement. It was full of contempt instead. "A Williams has to be better than the best, just to avoid suspicion. My dad said that. He never made it past serviceman third class. He was so proud when I got my officer's bars."

"I'm still not seeing the connection."

Williams let out a small sigh. Shepard knew that particular sound very well. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Williams. I know you're a good marine, and whatever happened in the past will not change that."

"No, no. You will probably figure it out soon enough, and I prefer that you would hear about it from me." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to prepare herself. "There is a reason for all of those crap assignments. My grandfather was General Williams, the commanding officer of the garrison on Shanxi. He was the first human commander to surrender to alien forces."

Shepard recalled the lessons that many of his teachers tried to instill in him about Shanxi. They talked about the mistakes that General Williams had made while he and his troops were being bombarded. Some even continued to straight out condemn the General's actions, stating that he should have fought to last man to defend his position. The Williams name was not regarded highly by many in the Alliance.

However, Shepard was not one of the many. Shepard stopped cleaning his pistol, turned toward Williams, and leaned his hip against the workbench. "I remember learning about Shanxi and General Williams in the Academy." He saw her shoulders slump slightly, but she kept her head down in a desperate attempt to avoid eye contact. "I believe your grandfather did the right thing in surrendering."

Williams' head spun quickly to face the commander. Her face was drawn into a disbelieving scowl, but her eyes showed a hint of surprise at his words.

"I guess I should explain," Shepard said quickly.

"That would be helpful," she said a little harshly.

"When I was at the Academy, many of the teachers used Shanxi as an example of what not to do when defending. I was intrigued by how common his, your grandfather's, actions were condemned, so I decided to look further into what actually happened to see why. It was a challenge to pick through the subjective information from teachers and books and get to the facts of the situation. When I was done, I came to a much different conclusion than my teachers.

"The garrison at Shanxi was outgunned, out-manned, and out-maneuvered. They had no aerial support to speak of, they were cut off from all reinforcements, and they been reduced to guerilla tactics. If it was just the Alliance military, I could understand fighting to the last man to keep the turians' attention on them and away from other colonies. But they also had civilians to worry about. Their attackers were destroying entire city blocks just to eliminate one strike team for God's sake. General Williams' surrender may have been a PR nightmare for the Alliance, but it saved thousands of lives from an unrelenting force. He didn't deserve the treatment he received after the Council stopped it all."

As he was talking, Shepard watched as Williams lost her harsh exterior. When he finished, he turned back to cleaning his pistol. He figured she would like a minute to herself without him watching her. Shepard was sure that having someone applaud her grandfather's decision was a new experience.

"I…," she started, but the words seemed to catch in her throat. She took a deep breath and tried again. "I don't know what to say."

"Nothing to say, Chief," Shepard responded. He turned toward her and smiled. "I will have something to say if you don't get my sniper rifle put back together though."

Williams smiled and turned back to the workbench. "Yes, sir. You know, I would have been done with this gun a while ago if I didn't get caught up with all the modifications you made to it. She is an amazing weapon, Shepard. Adjustable scope, lightweight frame, and high capacity heat sink. Where did you get these?"

"Well, the lightweight frame is a fairly new design from the Alliance R&D. They give me some of the newer projects to test out in the field. They say they like my input on what needs work. The other two are my creations."

"Your creations?" Williams' voice contained notes of disbelief.

"Mhmm." Shepard glanced over to find Williams looking at him. Her eyebrows were threatening to reach her hairline. "What? I am classified as an Infiltrator after all. Think that since I was so good with my sniper rifle, I must not have bothered with tech?"

"No! Not at all! I just… it's just surprising is all," she quickly stammered out.

Shepard smiled back. "Relax, Williams. I was just kidding. It's usually a surprise to people. Most would peg us soldiers as dumb grunts. It's an assumption that I like to take advantage of."

"Why do I get the feeling that you're picking on me?" she asked with a small smile.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Chief," he answered facetiously.

Williams shook her head. "But, still. How do you have the time to develop such advanced modifications? I would figure an N7 would be too busy on missions to take the time for inventions."

"You would be surprised. There has been a remarkable increase in the number of graduates from the N7 program in recent years. That results in a somewhat longer downtime for spec ops personnel. I don't get to sit around for months at a time, but there are usually a couple of days to a week in between missions.

"Also, I don't invent this stuff from scratch. I usually find illegal modifications that are effective, yet dangerously flawed on the weapons of the pirates, mercenaries, and outlaws I end up fighting. So I request them and make alterations that make the mods safe and more effective than what they were.

"I tried sending my improvements to R&D so they could use it, but I think they don't like the fact a grunt from the field can come up with better mods than they can. They tend to ignore what I send and try to start from scratch to produce the same results. Unfortunately, by the time they come up with anything, I usually have found something better." Shepard let out a sigh. He felt that the researchers' pride was a stupid reason to keep better operating weapons out of the hands of their soldiers.

"Have you thought about selling your designs to private weapon manufactures?" Williams asked.

"Absolutely not. I would rather see my modifications be underutilized than being sold to anyone who could afford them. I have a tough enough time with people firing bullets at me. I don't want to make their guns better at doing it."

"Huh. Never thought about that," Williams said as she turned back to cleaning Shepard's sniper rifle. "Well if you have any extra personal modifications you made lying around, let me know. I want some of these goodies in my weapons."

"Heh. I'll make a list of the spares I brought on board and designs that just need a mod to implement. You should go ahead and talk to the others to see if they want any changes to their weapons as well."

"I can't wait to see what you have."

Shepard placed the last piece of his pistol into its proper place. He did a quick check to make sure it's operating correctly and replaced the tools he removed. Finally finished, he said, "All right, Williams. I should go and stop keeping you from finishing your duties."

Before he could turn away, Williams swiftly faced him and gave a quick salute. "Aye, aye, Skipper," she said with a smile.

Shepard nodded and headed toward his locker to place his pistol back. Next, he made a beeline toward the Mako to talk to the last person in the cargo hold.

Garrus spotted him before he could say anything. "Hey, Commander. I wanted to thank you for bringing me along. It will be nice to work outside of C-Sec for a change."

This sparked Shepard's curiosity. "Didn't like working for C-Sec?"

"It was fine when I started out, walking around the Citadel, arresting criminals, busting drug deals, being the good guy. But as I rose in rank, I ran into more and more bureaucracy and red tape. It seemed like every time I tried to take someone down, I had to go through three or four different channels to get authorization. By the time I was able to attack, the perp had already gotten away. It's frustrating to go by the book. It shouldn't matter how I do the job, as long as I get the job done."

"That may be, but the rules are there for a reason. 'Whoever fights monsters should see to it that, in the process, he does not become a monster himself. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.'"

Garrus' mandibles flexed outward in a way that Shepard realized represented confusion or irritation. "My umm… My translator didn't seem to get all of that, Commander."

"It means that you must be careful in how you act when you are trying to apprehend criminals, pirates, bad people in general because, if you do not, you could end up being no better than them. The ends never justify the means, Garrus."

"Hmmm. I never thought about it like that before. I'll give what you said some thought."

Shepard adopted a stern posture. "Just so we're clear, I won't hesitate to knock you out if you do anything that could harm an innocent civilian."

Garrus straightened. "Crystal clear, Commander."

"Good." Shepard relaxed and turned toward the Mako. "So I see you are studying our tank/APC. How do you like her?"

Garrus was taken aback by the sudden change in demeanor, but quickly recovered. "She can definitely take a beating. Her kinetic barriers are strong, her armor is pretty thick, and that cannon could probably take out anything not shielded in only a few rounds. Now I just wonder how it moves on the ground."

"My best description is like a super bouncy ball bouncing down a rocky road."

Garrus' mandibles flexed outward again in confusion. Shepard realized that the turian would probably need some help understanding some of his odder phrases.

He clarified. "You're right. The tank is a powerhouse in firepower and defense, but its maneuverability is underwhelming. The mass effect core is situated vertically, allowing the weight of the vehicle on the tires to be variable. This helps the Mako," he gestured to the tank, "to climb much further and at steeper angles than other vehicles. It also means that any major bump in the road tends to launch the thing at odd trajectories."

Garrus nodded at Shepard's assessment. "I can understand why they tried to do it that way, but it could lead to wild rides without quick reaction rates of the mass effect field. How many hours have you put into this thing?"

Shepard laughed slightly. "Much longer than I would have liked. I have too many hours to count riding in the thing and about fifty hours' worth of operating time. It's the main troop deployment vehicle in the Alliance military."

Garrus eyed the Mako cautiously. "Are you going to be driving this thing in the field?" he asked warily.

Shepard grinned and patted the turian's shoulder. "Get your stomach ready for some bumpy rides, Garrus."

Garrus groaned in complaint. "Well I should get to trying to improve the mass effect field's response time. Or find a way to keep my stomach from tossing what passes for turian food here."

Shepard laughed. "You do what you can with the Mako and keep me updated. I'll see what I can do about the food."

He left Garrus to start working on the Mako and headed toward engineering.

Garrus yelled at him from behind. "Why do I feel like I got the harder of the two jobs?"

Shepard turned around and walked backwards. "Because you did. That's how CO's get their work done, by giving the tough tasks to their underlings."

Garrus laughed. "I'll remember that for when I'm someone's boss."

Shepard smiled, turned back around, and hit the door release to engineering. Tali was standing over one of the consoles with what appeared to be the ship's schematics. He decided not to interrupt her for now and walked over to Engineer Adams.

Adams spotted him coming. "Hey, Commander. We have to talk about our newest addition down here."

Shepard looked at him quizzically. "Is there a problem, Adams?"

"Problem? Oh, not at all. She's one of the best engineers I've ever worked with. Give her a couple of months on this boat, and she will know the _Normandy_ better than I do," he said with a smile.

"Good. Glad she fits in here. She needs something somewhat familiar to help relax. By the way, how is she doing? The _Normandy_, I mean."

"She's running perfect, Commander. Even better than the tests in the dry dock thanks to some of the adjustments you suggested."

"Well, I just wanted to make sure we are getting everything we can out of her. Seemed like wasted potential. On another note, how is your crew doing?"

"They are excited, sir. I mean, how can they not be? We are traveling on the most advanced warship in the galaxy with the first human Spectre. I can't speak for everyone else, but I know I'm honored to be here."

Shepard smiled. "I'm honored to have such amazing people willing to follow me. I should go and let you get back to your duties."

Adams quickly saluted. "Commander."

Shepard left Adams to his work and approached the lone quarian. "Hey, Tali."

She quickly turned to face him. Her eyes were wide, and her voice was full of excitement. "Shepard! Your ship is amazing! I've never seen anything like it."

He smiled at her. "Well, I certainly hope not. This ship is supposed to be a classified project. If you did see something like this, that would mean both the Alliance and Turian Hierarchy aren't very good at keeping secrets."

She giggled, and her head tilted to convey the smile behind her helmet. "The _Normandy_ is a technical masterpiece. Everything on this ship is so advanced. I'm really glad you decided to bring me along."

"You've proved yourself in a firefight, and I've heard that quarians are experts in tech. Figured having you on board will be quite helpful against the geth. I didn't realize how lucky I got until I talked to Chief Engineer Adams."

One of Tali's eyes grew smaller, and she tilted her head in, what Shepard assumed, a quizzical nature.

"He said that you would probably know this ship better than he does if you have time." Shepard leaned in a little and held one hand up next to his mouth like he was telling a secret. "I think he's a little scared that you want to take over his job." He winked at her, hoping that she would catch on to the joke. Shepard then realized that a wink might mean something completely different to quarians than it does humans. He hoped that he didn't just accidently offended or possibly proposed to her.

Fortunately, Tali seemed to catch on and laughed lightly instead. "He doesn't have anything to worry about. It takes more than just a good engineer to be chief engineer. It takes a great leader, someone people are willing to follow. I don't have that quality."

"Yet. You forgot the 'yet.'"

She looked at him with the same puzzled expression as before.

"You're still young, Tali. You have plenty of time to gain the self-confidence that will make you a great leader. Any captain would be lucky to have you on their boat as their chief engineer. I know I would be."

Tali's hands began their nervous movements at the sudden praise. "I- thank you, Commander. I'll try to not disappoint you."

Shepard put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, stopping her hands. "If you always do your best, you never will." He gave her shoulder one final pat before saying, "I'll let you get back to studying the ship. Feel free to come to me if you have any questions."

"I will. Thanks again, Shepard."

He nodded back and moved toward the elevator. There were still two people on his mental list that he still wanted to talk to: the new XO Pressly and Joker. Pressly would be able to give Shepard a rundown of the rest of the crew's feelings. His reasoning for checking in with Joker was to make sure the man everyone put their faith in to fly the ship was not feeling neglected. Afterwards, Shepard hoped to get to clean his armor and look over the intel he received.

He found Navigator Pressly working a console in the CIC. When Shepard asked him about the crew's attitude, Pressly answered the same way Engineer Adams did. Everyone on the _Normandy_ was excited and upbeat. The commander caught the irony in the fact that the crew was keeping their CO's moral high instead of the other way around.

"Commander, I have another matter I wish to discuss with you, if I may speak freely," Pressly said.

"Let's hear it."

"Are you sure we need all of these aliens on board?"

Shepard had prepared for this type of question, but he expected it from the enlisted men and women. It surprised him that it came from one of his officers. "Do you have a problem working with aliens?"

Pressly bristled a bit at the accusation. "Saren attacked one of our colonies. We should be the ones taking care of it. We don't need their help."

"Just because we are strong enough to take care of this by ourselves doesn't mean we have to. Saren is one of the best Spectres the Council had. I don't want to take the chance of not catching him because I didn't take help where I could get it."

Pressly straightened. "All right. Don't worry, Commander. I won't let it get in the way of my duty."

"Glad to hear it. If I may, how did you come to this point of view?" Shepard asked.

"I just don't trust them. My grandfather fought in the First Contact War. I haven't forgotten what the turians did to us back then."

Shepard understood the sentiment. The war only ended thirty years ago. Human-turian relations had gotten better since then, but it wasn't enough to wipe away all the old wounds from the bloody conflict. "I know it's difficult, but we have to eventually let go of old grudges. If we don't, they could end up turning into a gnarled root that corrupts you. I hope working with them will let you see that they aren't all that different from us."

Shepard left him with that and turned to the helm of the ship. He understood Pressly's stance much better than he would like to admit. After the batarian raid on Mindoir, Shepard had an intense hatred for the four-eyed aliens. The picture of one would either send him into a rage or make him nauseous. He couldn't stand the sight of them.

It wasn't until the Academy that Shepard let go of some rage. Some of his classes focused on the culture and history of various alien civilizations, and the batarian section was an eye opening experience. While batarian society was based on a system similar to the Indian caste system of old, not every batarian was content with the injustice they saw. Their history had been speckled with civil wars of lower classes rising up against their society's rules.

Then and there Shepard decided that his hatred was misdirected. Yes, it was batarians that attacked his colony, but it was the demand for slaves that drove them. It took many years of self-discipline to shift his anger from the race of aliens to the illegal practice.

During this time, his fiery rage mellowed into a smoldering hatred. Shepard was no longer thrown into a fit whenever he saw a slaver, driven by the thirst for revenge for what happened to his friends and family. The emotion was a more calculated anger, a type that gave him focus. Shepard wanted them to be punished in accordance with the Citadel laws.

He hoped that Pressly's distrust of aliens would follow the same path as Shepard's hatred for batarians did. He believed that working with and getting to know Garrus, Tali, and Wrex would help Pressly get over his problems.

When Shepard left the inner workings of his mind and came back to the world, he realized that he was standing just behind Joker's chair. He could see Joker shift uneasily in his seat. Shepard figured he had been standing there for some time, and the pilot had noticed.

"Um, is everything all right, Commander?" Joker asked hesitantly.

"Just fine, Joker. Sorry. I kinda got lost in thought on the way up here."

"Riiiiggghhhtttt." Joker didn't sound any more convinced.

Shepard was feeling a little left in the dark. "Joker?"

"Listen. I know why you're here, and I tell you the same thing I told Captain Anderson. You WANT me up here. I'm the best damn pilot in the entire Alliance. You know those top scores? I earned them. You know those accolades and commendations? I earned those too. The symptoms of my disease do nothing to effect the way I fly," Joker said harshly.

"You have a disease? Does Dr. Chakwas know?"

Joker finally turned his chair to face the commander. "You mean… you didn't know? Oh great. Way to go, Joker. Open mouth, insert foot."

He rubbed his forehead as a nervous gesture. "I have a congenital disease called Vrolik Syndrome. A mutation in my genes swaps a certain chemical yadda, yadda, yadda. It pretty much means my bones break when someone pats me on the shoulder too firmly.

"Like I said, I am the best pilot in the Alliance, and I can make the _Normandy_ dance. Just don't expect me to get up out of this seat and dance, unless you enjoy the sound of twigs snapping."

"I'm guessing there is no cure, or you would have taken it long ago."

"No, there's not," Joker said bitterly. "Dr. Chakwas helps me manage it, but there's nothing more that can be done."

Shepard knew that this was the time to apologize, to extend your condolences. However, being on the receiving end of many of such words, he knew the hollow feeling they left behind. Hearing "I'm sorry" didn't make the person feel better. It just made them hate those two words.

"Just so you know, I don't care about your condition. And you're right. Although I shouldn't give you a big head, you are the best pilot I've known, and I'm glad that you are on this ship," Shepard said as he smiled.

"Damn straight, I am. About time someone around here recognizes my brilliance."

Shepard pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation, but his smile betrayed the motion. "I take it back. You're just mediocre."

"Too late! You said, 'you're the best pilot ever.' I heard it. Shoulda got a recording of it though. Besides, we both know that I'm not 'just mediocre,'" Joker responded, grinning.

"Great. Now I have a flight officer with a bloated ego. I'll let you get back to piloting."

"All right. See ya." Joker turned his chair back to the helm.

Shepard made his way back to the second deck and the elevator to take him back to the armory to clean his armor. On the way, he went through a mental checklist of his ground squad.

Kaiden was, as usual, much more observant than what Shepard wished him to be. He caught on to the commander's growing stress and pressure, something he wished to keep from the rest of the crew from knowing. The skill was probably a necessity for combat medics, to look past the façade marines assumed to keep them looking strong and see the injuries they are hiding. Shepard should drop his guard a little bit around the lieutenant to keep him occupied on the more surface problems instead of finding the damaged portions of the commander's psyche.

Wrex was still much of a mystery. He was not forthcoming with his motivations and hid behind widely accepted krogan characteristics. While a good fight might truly be the reason for him to come along, Shepard knew that it wasn't the all-encompassing motive.

There was more to the story. Wrex had an air of authority around him, one that was only gained by leading. There were only three reasons Shepard could think of that would cause a leader to leave his people: they were all dead, they overthrew him, or they were no longer worth his time. He wondered which one caused Wrex to run from his people.

Chief Williams was a very strong, yet very guarded woman. Both characteristics stemmed from her family history, causing to form a tough exterior to deal with the treatment her last name receives. She seemed especially wary around her CO's, taking a much harsher tone with Shepard now that he was in command of the _Normandy_. He hoped that she now saw him differently than her former commanding officers. He took her new nickname for him as evidence of this this change.

Shepard imagined that Garrus was the kind of soldier Carmine and Jenkins would have turned into if they were given years to gain experience. The turian was enthusiastic, eager to please those he looked up to, and deadly in a firefight. He was overzealous at times, throwing rules to the wind when they got in the way. Shepard hoped that he would be able to instill the idea that rules and morals are what keep them from becoming the criminals they chase.

Tali was a very young woman in a very large galaxy. This was most likely her first time leaving the relative safety of the fleet on her Pilgrimage, the rite of passage that all quarians went through, and she was unsure of herself outside her normal world. Shepard hoped that working with and being accepted by a non-quarian crew would help her gain the confidence she needed.

Shepard finished his mental assessment as soon as he reached the elevator. As he went to hit the call button, a kind, but authoritative voice stopped him.

"Have you been avoiding me, Commander?""

Shepard turned and smiled. "What would make you think that, Doc?"

Dr. Chakwas' arms were crossed, but a friendly smile stretched across her face. "Maybe because you've been roaming the entire ship talking to people for the last hour. Everyone except me, that is. And last time I checked, my medical bay isn't anywhere near the armory."

He laughed and lifted a suspicious eyebrow. "Having the VI keep tabs on me again?"

"Because that's the only way to keep tabs on you. And if I didn't, you would run yourself into the ground. Now come with me, mister. I need to check on how you are doing."

Dr. Chakwas turned and headed back to the medical bay without looking back to make sure Shepard was following. He felt the temptation to hit the call button on the elevator anyway and escape from the doctor. He decided against it in the end. Shepard was sure that the _Normandy_'s chief medical officer had more than one way to make his life substantially harder than it needed to be. He didn't want to test her willingness to employ them.

When he entered the compartment, Chakwas patted a medical table and said, "Have a seat, Commander. I'll try to make this as painless as possible."

Shepard did as he was told. The doctor's omnitool glowed with its orange light, taking medical scans from his body. Her face scrunched as she focused on the readings. Eventually, she turned her omnitool off and turned to one of the cabinets next to her desk.

"Please take your shirt off," she said as she searched through the cabinet's contents.

"What?" Shepard asked, startled.

She turned back toward him, holding two contraptions. "I said 'Please take off your shirt.'"

"Why would I need to do that? And what are those?"

"A stethoscope and a sphygmomanometer or more commonly referred to as a blood pressure cuff," she said, holding each medical instrument up as she said its name. "They are used to check the health of your heart and lungs. I need your shirt off to make it easier to use these."

Shepard reluctantly pulled his shirt over his head. "Don't the medical scans from an omnitool already tell you those things?"

She placed the two ear buds of the stethoscope into her ears. "Usually, but yours were too perfect. They felt off, considering everything you've been through. I decided a more thorough examination would be appropriate."

"Dr. Chakwas, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but, if the medical scans said I was okay, then I really need to get- Argh!" Shepard let out a startled yell when he was cut off by the doctor placing the small, cold metal circle on his chest.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was that cold?" she said sarcastically and smiling.

Shepard scowled. "You knew it would be that cold. You're a devious woman. I'm on to you."

"Oh stop being a big baby and let me get on with this." Chakwas breathed on the metal circle before placing it back onto Shepard's chest.

It was still chilly, but much more manageable. "Evil witch doctor," he mumbled under his breath.

"Shush. I can't hear anything when you're talking or calling me an 'evil witch doctor.'"

Shepard didn't say anything else. Being caught by this elderly woman reminded him of his mom catching him before he could pull off pranks or sneaking into the house after curfew. He reached for and played with the bracelet Daily gave him.

Dr. Chakwas was at his back telling him to breathe in deeply. After checking each lobe of the lungs, she crossed in front of him to retrieve the blood pressure cuff and started to strap it to his arm. She noticed him touching a small, red, woven rope attached in between his dog tags.

"What do you have there?" she asked as she adjusted the cuff to fit his arm.

Shepard's fingers stopped their mindless motion for a moment as he thought about how to respond. Finally he said, "A bracelet Dai… my sister gave to me for my sixteenth birthday. It was made from the wool of our family…" Shepard struggled, looking for a word to fit. Eventually, he simply shrugged. "I don't know what to call it. A mascot maybe? It was a sheep named Felt."

He felt the cuff on his arm constrict as Dr. Chakwas filled it with air. It felt remarkably similar to the feeling he had now in his chest.

"You miss them a lot, don't you?" Chakwas said.

"Every damn day."

The rest of the test was finished in silence. Dr. Chakwas finally unstrapped the cuff and returned the two instruments to the cabinet. By the time she got back to the bed, Shepard was already up and putting his shirt back on.

"Almost everything looks normal," she said while standing in between him and the exit.

"Almost?" Shepard asked with a little less excitement than usual.

"Your blood pressure is 133/76. It's not too far out of normal range, but you are usually around 110/70. It's probably just stress that's causing this. So I want you to get some rest before the next mission. You've been working too hard and not getting enough sleep."

Shepard really didn't feel like resting at this point. "I appreciate the concern, Doc, but I'm fine. I really need to clean my armor and make sure everything is ready for Dr. T'Soni."

Chakwas shook her head. "No. All you _need_ to do is sleep. I'll let Chief Williams know that you need your armor cleaned and XO Pressly to get the _Normandy_ ready for, hopefully, a friendly guest. Now get to your quarters, or I will have Wrex, Garrus, and Kaiden put you in the brig until you get some sleep."

Shepard narrowed his eyes toward her, testing her resolve on the issue. She didn't shrink away underneath his relentless gaze. Chakwas simply stared back as if asking for him to try her. Again he was reminded of his mother, and, again, he didn't want to take her up on her offer.

"Fine. You win. Will you let me go now?"

She smiled at him. "Of course, Commander."

Shepard knew Chakwas called him by his rank on purpose. It was a reminder that, even though he outranks her when it comes to the command of this ship, she outranks him when it comes to the health of anyone on board.

Shepard made his way to his cabin, closed the door behind him, and locked it. He brought up his omnitool and opened a channel to Joker.

"Joker, how long until we reach the Artemis Tau cluster?"

"We still have a little over four hours."

"All right. Pick any system that has a known planet in the Goldilocks zone and get there. We don't know where Dr. T'Soni is exactly, so we might as well start anywhere. Let me know when we are an hour out from the planet."

"Aye, aye, Commander."

Shepard closed the channel and finally caught glimpse of his bed. His eyelids became heavy, and a yawn forced itself from his mouth. He didn't realize how tired he actually was until he faced the possibility of getting to sleep. Shepard had wanted to run over some of the intel he received about the various missions, but he doubted his eyes would stay open for it.

He sat on his bed and clumsily tried to remove his boots with sluggish fingers. Finally succeeding, he switched off the overhead lights and laid his head on the pillow. Within thirty seconds, he was asleep.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Shepard's eyes opened much quicker than normal. He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes to wipe away the lingering effects of sleep. He threw the covers off him, sat on the edge of the bed, and cradled his head in his hands. His fingers massaged his skin in an effort to relax the tension he felt around his entire body.

He was angry.

No. He was beyond angry.

He was pissed.

The dream that he just slept through was an entirely different experience than what the beast usually puts him through, but just as effective. Instead of making him live through variations of his friend's and squad's deaths, Shepard lived the "what if" scenarios, the "what could have happened if everyone was still alive today." It proved to be just as effective at getting under Shepard's skin.

Even as some of the details of the dream vanished from his memory, he still remembered much of the situation the beast placed him. Shepard found himself sitting at a table. He looked to his right to see his dad, John Shepard, sitting at the head of the table. His face was older, and his hair was speckled with streaks of grey. To John's right sat Hannah Shepard, the commander's mom. She had aged much more gracefully then John, always maintaining a graceful appearance.

Shepard turned toward the other end of the table to see Mr. Jefferson with Mrs. Jefferson sitting to his right, Shepard's left. Across from Mrs. Jefferson sat Scott. Instead of a wicked hole in the side of his throat, he was without wounds and dressed in military fatigues. Scott held himself in a much more confident manner than Shepard remembered. He had grown into a fine young man.

Directly across from Shepard sat Daily. She was wearing her hair down, a style she did not use much growing up on a farm. Shepard thought it made her look older. Then, he realized that Daily was older than he remembered. She was no longer simply the little sister that he could pull pranks on. Daily was a young woman now and a beautiful one at that (thought he would never tell her, lest it goes to her head).

Scott suddenly rose from his seat, pulling the attention to him. His mouth moved, and, even though no words were audible, Shepard knew what he said. Scott had proposed to Daily last night, and she said yes. They were now officially engaged. Everyone got up to congratulate the couple with hugs, handshakes, and hearty slaps on the back.

When Shepard finally returned to his seat, a warm, slender hand slipped into his own right hand. He looked to his right to see Amanda peering right back at him. She smiled at him, her long hair framing her older face. She was simply gorgeous, for lack of a better word. It utterly failed to describe what Shepard truly felt about her.

He interlaced his fingers with hers and felt a smooth, warm band around her ring finger. He noticed two rings were placed there: a modest diamond ring and a simple gold band. Shepard realized the latter was identical to the band he was currently playing with on his own left hand.

A fountain of emotions surged through Shepard: pride, joy, bliss. He was happy in every meaning of the word. He closed his eyes and brought her hand to his mouth. Just before Shepard was able to kiss it, Amanda's hand disappeared from his own. He opened his eyes, searching for his wife.

Instead, all he saw was the ceiling of his cabin on the _Normandy_. Shepard quickly realized that it was all a dream; it wasn't real. They will never be able to grow older like they were. They will never be able to hear the announcement of Scott's and Daily's engagement. They will never be able to smile or laugh or cry again. They were gone, and he was alone.

The fountain of emotions Shepard had felt during the dream disappeared, and two took their place: anger and grief. He chose to focus on the anger as opposed to the grief. It was easier to control and could be harnessed. Grief left him a sobbing mess that preferred solitude over firefights.

That was the state he found himself now, fingers working at his skin to prevent his hands from grabbing the chair in front of him and throwing it around the small room. Fortunately, Joker's voice filled the cabin, giving Shepard something else to focus on.

"Commander, we are about an hour out from Therum in the Knossos system."

Shepard tried to keep the anger from his voice. "Thanks, Joker. How many terrestrial planets are in the Goldilocks zone in this cluster?"

"Four known planets. There could be more though. This cluster hasn't been widely scanned probably due to how remote it is."

"Most likely, but Dr. T'Soni is supposedly at a prothean dig site. I'm sure a planet with any prothean presence would have been added to our navigation charts. Let's start with the four, and we'll begin scanning other systems if need be."

"Yes, sir."

The comm closed, and Shepard got himself ready to leave. He left his cabin and saw Williams and Alenko eating at the table. It was fortunate that they were together. Shepard needed to go over the mission with both of them.

"How's the grub?" Shepard asked.

Alenko was too busy chewing on a rather large bite to respond, so Williams did it for him.

"Can't complain too much. It gets the job done," she said. She nodded toward the lieutenant. "He seems to be enjoying it though."

Alenko tried to speak, but his words only came out as a garbled mess past his food.

Shepard tried to help him. "I believe what Lt. Alenko is attempting to say is that he needs about twice the caloric intake a normal marine needs because of his biotics. It's not that he loves the food, it's more that he constantly needs that much food."

Alenko finally swallowed his mouthful of food. "You're quite well-informed, Commander. Not too many non-biotics know some of the finer details about biotic abilities and their side effects."

Shepard decided to keep Daily's biotic abilities a secret for now. Talking about her would probably bring the rage he could still feel burning to the surface. "I like to have a base knowledge of what I may find out in the field. Plus, it helps when I am fortunate enough to have biotic marines in my squad."

Alenko nodded, accepting the answer. "I know that you didn't just walk up to talk about the food on board. You have a mission for us, Commander?"

"As perceptive as ever, Alenko. We are nearing the planet of Therum. I want Lt. Alenko to ready and lead a three man squad planet side. Chief Williams, I want you to have a reserve squad ready in case we need more people for the search. We are about an hour out, so I want your squads ready in forty." Shepard looked at their food trays that were still about half full. "Sorry to cut your meal short."

Alenko was chewing another big bite from his plate, so Williams responded. "No need to apologize. It comes with being a marine. We'll be ready, Skipper."

Shepard nodded and turned toward the elevator to gather up the two members of his squad. On his way, he overheard Alenko talking through his mouthful of food.

"Skipper?" he asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Not one more word, Alenko," Williams said cautiously.

Alenko chuckled at her response, and the two began to decide which marine belongs on which team. Shepard was glad that the two were getting along. He just hoped that the new additions to the crew will be just as accepted and befriended.

On his way down, Shepard contemplated who he should bring along down to Therum. Wrex was a definitely coming along. His biotics were a valuable asset, and his familiarity with any type of weapon would cover any inadequacies Shepard's preferred arsenal had.

The last member of his squad was still undecided. Garrus was a solid choice that was almost as versatile as Wrex. His assault and sniper rifle skills made him deadly at mid- to long-range combat. However, Garrus wasn't as well-trained in CQC as the krogan was, and he wasn't a biotic. His tech abilities were formidable, but they added nothing that Shepard couldn't handle himself.

Tali was a risker option. She was untested and eager to please, a dangerous combination. On the other hand, her skills with her shotgun were not to be denied. Also, she was a quarian, the closest Shepard was going to get to a geth expert. If Dr. T'Soni was working with Saren and her mother, there were certainly going to be geth in the area.

In the end, Shepard decided that Tali would be the better choice of the two. He stepped out of the elevator and headed toward Wrex.

"Shepard."

"We have a mission, Wrex. Meet down here, ready to go, in forty."

Wrex let out a satisfied grunt. "'bout time you got me out of this tin can."

Shepard crossed his arms. "You've been on the _Normandy_ for less than a day. Don't tell me you're that anxious already."

"You've obviously never traveled with a krogan before. We need to feel our blood pumping. You stole that chance for me when you stormed Fist's club." Wrex grinned. "You owe me a good fight, now that I think about it."

Shepard held his hands up, conceding. "All right, all right. You have a point. We might end up finding a squad of geth planet side. If you're lucky, we might even find an entire platoon."

"Knowing your luck, Shepard, we will probably find two."

He scoffed. "I certainly hope not. Remember, be ready in forty," he said as he headed toward engineering.

"I'll be ready."

Shepard entered engineering and did a quick search for Tali. He found her at a terminal looking over what appeared to be ship readouts. He walked up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

She jumped and let out a small squeak. She turned around, narrowed her eyes, and put her hands on her hips. "Keelah, Shepard! Don't scare me like that!"

Shepard laughed. "I'm sorry, Tali. I didn't mean to scare you. Next time, I'll just call out to you," he said through the laughter.

She crossed her arms. Her eyes stayed the same size, clearly not completely forgiving him. "Uh huh. Is there anything else, or were you just down here to give me a hard time?"

Shepard finally calmed down. "I just wanted to tell you that you're coming with me on our next mission. I want you to be ready and next to the Mako in forty."

Tali's eyes widened, and her hands began their nervous movement. "You… you want ME to go with you? Into combat?"

He lifted a curious eyebrow. "Yessssss. Is there something wrong with that?"

"No! It's just… I don't… ugh."

Shepard placed a hand on hers to keep them from fidgeting. "Relax, Tali. Tell me what's up." He let go of her hands, giving her a chance to calm down.

She took a depth breath and started again. "When you gave me this position in engineering, I thought I was going to be here for the rest of my time on the _Normandy_. I never thought that you would take me with you. I'm not a marine, soldier, or krogan."

He smiled at her. "Don't give me that. I saw you in the alley. You held off a heavily armed turian and two salarians by yourself. Wasn't there also something about you staying undetected while surrounded by geth, taking one out, and removing the memory core before it could be completely wiped? That sounds like a damn fine marine or soldier to me. I sure as hell know a krogan couldn't do all that." He leaned in. "Don't tell Wrex I said that."

Tali laughed, but quickly turned solemn again. "I had help at every turn. You finished the assassins that came after me. And the geth…" She took a moment to gather herself. "The crew that was supposed to drop me off at Ileum to start my Pilgrimage got me through it. They didn't make it," she said, trailing off. "I don't think I'm fit for ground missions."

"Tali, you're a survivor. You lived when others fell. You have skills that kept you alive under enormous odds. That is more than enough to be on my ground team. Now, if you don't want to go, I won't make you, but I want you to go. It's your decision."

She looked down to contemplate what he had said. Shepard patiently waited for her. Finally, Tali looked at him with more resolve in her eyes than he had seen from her.

"Okay. If you think that I can do it, I'll go."

"Great. Always remember, Tali: do your best, and you'll never let me down. Be ready to leave in forty."

She silently nodded and turned back toward her terminal. Shepard decided to leave her alone with her thoughts. He left engineering and went to see how Garrus was doing on the Mako.

"Garrus. Did you fix that little problem the Mako has?" Shepard asked as he closed in on the turian.

"I would hardly call it little. It's going to take me more than a few hours to adjust something as complicated as the mass effect fields."

"Well, it looks like you are going to have to run some simulations for the time being. We are taking the Mako groundside for a mission in about an hour," Shepard said.

"You're not taking me with you?" Garrus asked, disappointed.

"Not on this one, I'm afraid. Tali's experience with the geth and Wrex's biotics make them better suited for this mission." He patted the turian on the shoulder. "Don't worry. You will see your fair share of the action."

"I trust that I will. Can't say that I'm not disappointed though."

Shepard smiled at him. "You'll get over it."

After the forty minutes, Shepard met with everyone next to the Mako to brief them on the situation.

"So here is what we know: Therum is rocky planet that has a heavy mining presence. The mining companies have found quite a few prothean ruins. When he scanned the planet, Joker found a geth ship in the area of two known ruins along with many geth signatures on the ground.

"Tali, Wrex, and I are call sign Alpha and will drop in the Mako and head to one of the sites. Lt. Alenko, Pvt. Pakti, and Cpl. Hicks are Bravo. They will be dropped by the _Normandy_ and take the second site. Chief Williams, Pvt. Abate, and Pvt. Tanaka will be Echo and stay on the _Normandy_ as the reserve team. Expect heavy resistance. Questions?"

No one spoke for a minute. Then, Alenko raised his hand.

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Why do you get to ride in the Mako while my squad is stuck hoofing it on the ground?" he asked with a smirk.

Shepard smiled. "Because I'm the one in charge. You can't expect me to walk all the way to the mining facility. Besides, after I take you down in the Mako a few times, you'll never want to ride in that thing again."

Tali spoke up. "Is it really that bad?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Shepard answered. "Double check your weapons and gear. Alpha drops in ten."

* * *

The last geth armature finally fell after Wrex unleashed an explosive carnage shot from his shotgun. Shepard surveyed the area to make sure that there were no more geth hiding in ambush. Satisfied that they were alone, he signaled his squad to head for the entrance of what appeared to be a mine.

So far, the mission was running as smoothly as he could have hoped for. The drop in the Mako was an interesting experience. Tali had a death grip on her seat as they plummeted toward the surface of the planet while Wrex looked so peaceful that he appeared to be sleeping. It was quite possibly the calmest Shepard has ever seen a krogan, and it was just before a tough mission. The irony was not lost on him.

Once they were on the ground, the squad was met with heavy resistance from a variety of geth troops: armatures, four-legged artillery-like units that stood six meters tall; juggernauts, bipedal troops that were heavier armed and armored; primes, an even heavier version of a juggernaut; and a colossus, a much larger and more powerful variety of the armature. However, they could not stand the onslaught that Wrex unleashed with the Mako's cannon.

They were making good time and were nearing the ruins when they found large rocks that blocked their path. They had no choice but to leave the Mako and continue on foot. The squad encountered some geth troops, but they posed no problem to defeat. Even the ambush by geth snipers, sappers (quick moving geth that disrupted weapons, omnitools, and biotic amps), and the armature that was now sparking fell to Tali's, Wrex's, and Shepard's abilities and teamwork.

As they neared the entrance, Shepard opened a short-range comm channel. "Bravo, report."

It took a moment before the response came. "It's looking good here, Commander. We have made it to the building while meeting only light resistance."

"Good. It appears that we will be heading underground so our comms might be scrambled. If you don't hear from me in forty, have Williams drop on my position."

"Aye, aye, sir. Good hunting."

"You too, Lieutenant. Alpha out." Shepard turned to his squad. "Everyone ready? We are heading in."

"Ready when you are," Tali responded.

Wrex merely nodded.

"All right. Wrex, take point."

Wrex wordlessly started up the ramp toward the doors. He didn't even bother with cover as the doors slide apart to allow them inside. Shepard was surprised to find a smooth, well-lit tunnel on the other side of the door that gently descended further into the world's surface.

As they neared the door on the other side, he heard the low beep from his motion detector that warned him of a new signal. Shepard placed a hand on Wrex's shoulder to stop him. He checked his detector.

"There are four geth in the next room with two just on the other side of the door," Shepard said, keeping his voice low. "Tali, I want you in cover on the left, and Wrex on the right. Both of you take out the near ones with your shotguns. I'll follow you in and deal with the other two."

They both nodded and got into position.

"On Wrex," Shepard said after he got into position.

The large krogan wasted no time hitting the button that opens the door. His wide frame blocked the opening, not allowing the other two to get any clear shot. He blasted one of the geth with his shotgun and biotically tossed the other into the wall on their left. Not missing a beat, Wrex started toward the ramp that led to the remaining two.

Once the entrance was clear, Tali quickly made her way to the thrown geth to put a finishing round into it. Shepard headed toward the railing to give Wrex some cover fire with his sniper rifle. He was able to take out one of the geth while Wrex finished the other. When they caught up with the krogan, he was crushing the disabled geth with his foot.

"What was that, Wrex?" Shepard asked. His voice had hints of anger.

He never stopped his work on the synthetic. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"We had a plan of attack. Why didn't you follow it?"

"The quarian took too long. So I acted." Wrex said as he turned to face Shepard.

"Because you-" Tali started to argue before being silenced by a wave of Shepard's hand.

"We both know that's a load of bull. When I give orders, Wrex, I expect them to be followed. Do we have an understanding?"

Wrex stared defiantly at the human for a few moments. Finally, he grunted. "Fine." He holstered his shotgun and removed his assault rifle. "I'll say it again, Shepard: you have a quad."

Shepard stepped past him and made his way to the elevator he saw a bit further. "Well, the Council didn't make me a Spectre because of my pretty face."

Wrex roared with a laugh and followed. Tali was left speechless at the entire exchange, but quickly recovered and caught up with the squad.

They eventually ran into a large translucent, blue wall with an asari in a precarious position. She was suspended in a bubble that appeared to be the same type of field that the wall was composed of.

"Hello!? Can you hear me? I'm trapped and need help!" she yelled out when they got close.

Shepard wanted to tell her to quiet down, but he felt hypocritical because of the argument he just had with Wrex only moments ago. "Don't worry. We will help you. Are you Dr. Liara T'Soni?"

The simple fact that they were there for her seemed to calm her down. She spoke quieter, but just as frantic. "Yes, yes, that's me. You must help me. I was down here studying the prothean ruins when I heard some explosions and started to see geth flood in. I activated this defense screen, hoping to keep them out, but I must have hit something wrong. This suspension field has me trapped now."

"Do you know why the geth are after you?" Shepard asked.

"They… they are after me?! I thought they came for the ruins. Why are they after me? I'm just a prothean archeologist."

Wrex huffed. "Benezia's daughter doesn't even realize how valuable she is. Are you sure she is important enough for all this?"

"The geth obviously think so. They are here, aren't they?" Tali answered.

"My mother?" Dr. T'Soni said before anyone could respond. "What does my mother have to do with any of this?"

Shepard knew he couldn't brief her fully given the circumstances, but she shouldn't be left in the dark. "Your mother, Matriarch Benezia, has joined Saren and his geth. They have attacked a human colony and are now branded as traitors to the Council."

"What!? No. No, no. There is no way my mother would fall that far. There has to be some explanation."

"Listen, we can talk about your mother when we get out of this place safely. Is there any way to disable this screen?"

"Right, right, of course. Escape first. Explanation later," the asari said to herself. She took a deep breath before continuing. "Unfortunately, the controls are in here, past the screen, and it is too strong to be destroyed by anything you appear to have on you right now. I do not know how you're going to get past it."

Shepard looked around the cavern. "I take it that is the camp back there? Is there some mining equipment left?"

"I am not sure. I stuck with what I brought and never search through what was left behind."

"Hopefully there will be something there that can break through." Shepard smiled. "Don't go too far. We won't leave you hanging," he said, trying to add some levity to the situation.

Dr. T'Soni missed it entirely. "As you can see, I am unable to go anywhere at the present moment, so there is no need to worry about that."

Tali snorted, trying to hold back a laugh. Wrex stared at the asari with a quizzical look. Shepard's head dropped, and he was muttering something about bad the joke was, but come on. Dr. T'Soni was definitely missing something.

The commander finally turned. "We'll be back soon," he said and left for the mining camp.

They ran into some geth who apparently had the same thought that Shepard did and were searching the mining camp. They were easily disabled. The squad began to search through the already looted crates and boxes, looking for anything that could help them.

"Anything?" Shepard asked over the comms.

"Nothing, but crap," Wrex responded.

Shepard waited a moment to hear from his quarian squad mate. "Tali?"

Still nothing.

"Tali?!" he said more earnestly.

"Oh, sorry! I was trying to figure out what this was. Come take a look," she finally answered.

Shepard pinged her suit VI to find her location. She had left the camp and was closer to the prothean ruins where Dr.T'Soni was trapped. He saw that she was kneeling next to a large cylinder-shaped machine.

"What is it, Tali?"

"Is this what I think it is?" she asked as she looked up at him from her position next to the controls.

"It's a mining drill. It uses a laser to cut through the rock." Shepard finally saw what the young engineer was getting at. "Do you think we could use it to get past the screen?"

"It probably packs a bigger punch than anything we can find in the camp. I say it's worth a shot."

Shepard's response was instant. "Do it. Make sure it's aimed away from the good doctor. Don't want to fry the reason we are here."

"On it. Could you and Wrex aim it five degrees down and fifteen degrees to the right?"

Shepard nodded, and they worked on preparing the drill ready to gain them access to the other side of the prothean ruin. Finally, everything was ready.

Tali looked at Shepard. "You ready, Commander?"

He nodded. "Do it."

She tapped a few commands into the control console, and the laser drill roared to life. The rubble that blocked the entrance they were aiming at evaporated into dust instantly. The defense screen held for a few seconds before finally failing. Tali turned off the machine, and they headed for their new opening.

Once inside, Shepard noticed that there were multiple pods on each level like the one Dr. T'Soni was currently trapped in. Unlike hers, however, none of them had control consoles. The style of each room reminded him of a place that he never wanted to have an extended stay.

"This place looks like a prison," Wrex said abruptly, echoing Shepard's thoughts.

"My thoughts exactly," Shepard confirmed.

"Are you sure?" Tali asked.

Shepard walked up to a console in the middle of a large shaft and hit a few buttons, trying to find a way to get what he hoped was an elevator to move. "Look at the rooms. See how small they are? And each one has a personal screen that could hold against multiple explosions. The only reason we broke through is because we had a consistent, high-powered energy beam hitting it."

The elevator finally started to move. "The room our asari doctor is located is probably solitary confinement or an interrogation room," he continued as he turned toward his crew. "Its size allows for multiple people to be in there comfortably. I don't think this was a peaceful place considering all the precautions were put in place here."

Tali stared at the structure in a new light. The rest of the short trip was spent in silence, an odd occurrence considering how hard the fighting was to get there.

Once the elevator stopped on the asari's floor, Dr. T'Soni did her best to turn around. "You made it past the barrier?! How did you manage that?"

"Superior firepower," Tali said, taking pride in her idea.

Shepard filled in the blanks. "We used a mining laser to break through."

"Amazing. I would have never thought to do that. Now could you please get me out of here?"

Shepard approached the control console in the room. "Tell me what to do. Don't want to hit a button and zap you."

"What? Why would I be… you know what, never mind. I don't want to know."

Shepard followed Dr. T'Soni's directions. Soon, she was dropped unceremoniously onto the floor. She struggled to get up, Shepard stepping in to help her.

"Thank you. Being trapped in there took more out of me than I realized. Thank you for saving me…" She placed a thoughtful finger on her lips. "I just realized I never asked you your names."

"My name is Commander Shepard. The krogan is Wrex, and the quarian's name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

"Thank you, Commander. I am sorry I did not ask earlier. You probably think that was very rude of me. I must admit, I am not well versed in communicating with other species," she said, a purple blush on her cheeks.

Shepard tried to comfort her with a smile. "I'll just chalk it up to extenuating circumstances. We didn't meet in the best of situations."

"That is very kind of you."

His smile disappeared, and his eyes hardened. Tali and Wrex knew what was coming, that Shepard was going to test the asari's motives. It still surprised them how quickly he switched modes.

"Dr. T'Soni, I need to know. Are you working with Saren, the geth, and Matriarch Benezia? Are you on their side?"

The asari recoiled at the accusation. "What?! No! I'm not on anyone's side! I haven't even spoken to my mother in years."

Shepard's stance softened. "All right. That's all I needed to know. Now let's get out of here. I've had enough fun fighting the ge-"

A strong and long earthquake interrupted whatever Shepard was saying. They could hear pieces of the cavern fall outside the ruins.

"Oh, no. I was hoping this wouldn't happen," Tali said after the rumbling stopped.

Shepard turned toward her. "Something you wish to share with the rest of us?"

Her hands began their nervous movement. "Umm. Activating the drill could have possibly caused the cavern to become, uhhh, unstable and… maybe… collapse."

Shepard rapidly moved his finger, shifting from pointing to himself and Tali. "We need to work on our communication," he said a little light-heartedly. He then opened a comm channel to the _Normandy_, hoping that his radio was strong enough to make it through. "Joker, come in."

Thankfully, it was. "Joker here."

"Get the _Normandy_ ready. We may need to get out of here fast."

"Roger that, Commander. The lieutenant's team is already on board with no luck on the wayward doctor. Did you find anything?"

"She's with us, but the mine that we are in is collapsing around us."

"Oh, sounds serious. Once we get you, we can depart. Joker out."

Shepard closed the channel. "All right, we are oscar mike. Let's hope that elevator will take us back to the top."

They ran back into the central shaft, and Dr. T'Soni worked the controls to get the elevator moving. Once at their stop, they met with a not so friendly looking krogan and half a dozen geth troopers.

"Thanks for getting past that barrier, human. It would have taken us weeks to do that. Now surrender. Or don't. That would be more fun," the krogan said bluntly.

Shepard was not in the mood for this. "You are picking a fight? In case you haven't noticed, this place is coming down around our ears."

The krogan grinned. "I know. Exhilarating, isn't it. A battle to the death where even the winner may not survive the crushing rocks outside this tower. Just give us the asari, and we may let you live."

Dr. T'Soni's voice came from behind him. "Whatever you want from me, you're not going to get it."

Shepard glanced towards her. He didn't realize that Dr. T'Soni had closed distance between them, effectively using the commander to shield herself from the geth forces. She looked back at him with a pleading look. He gave her a comforting smile.

Shepard turned back. "Thanks for the offer, but she seems pretty content with us." He upholstered his sniper rifle with one hand and primed a few tech grenades with the other.

The enemy krogan grunted. "Kill them. Spare the asari if you can. If not, doesn't matter."

Shepard wasted no time in throwing his sabotage mine to overload and disable the rocket launcher one of the geth troopers had. He moved to snipe the other heavy hitters, the two geth snipers.

Once he finished off all three AI's, he looked to find where his squad left. He saw Tali finishing off one of the geth shock troopers with the other sparking a few meters behind her. That left the krogan battlemaster.

Shepard heard a roar that drew his attention. Wrex had just headbutted the other krogan, and he saw a burst of orange fluid come from the stumbling krogan's nose. Both of their shotguns were on the ground, forgotten, with their heat sinks open and rapidly dumping the excess heat.

"Wrex, you okay?" Shepard called.

Wrex slammed the other krogan into the wall. "Don't worry about me, Shepard." He punched the krogan in the jaw. "Go ahead, and get outta here." Wrex threw another headbutt. "I'll catch up with you in a minute." He turned toward the commander and gave him a toothy grin.

Shepard smiled back. "All right, but, if you haven't caught up with us in five minutes, I'm coming back to save your sorry butt."

He made sure that the other two were able to follow him and started running toward the opening of the mine. The place was becoming more unstable by the minute, and rocks fell, threatening to block their path. Finally seeing the entrance, Shepard turned to make sure that Tali and Dr. T'Soni made it safely. Just as they passed him, a large rock fell onto his shoulder and scraped down his back. He gritted his teeth to keep himself from yelling, and darted after the two women.

Once they reached outside safely, Shepard finally had time to catch his breath. "Tali, get Dr. T'Soni to the Mako and get it ready to board the _Normandy_."

She nodded and gestured for the doctor to follow her toward the waiting APC. Shepard patiently waited for their last member to catch up. His back burned and his shoulder ached. He hoped nothing was broken or dislocated.

Wrex finally made it to out of the mine after a minute after he arrived, no worse for the wear.

"Hopefully he wasn't too tough on you," Shepard said as he started to jog toward the Mako.

Wrex laugh as he followed. "That whelp didn't deserve the title of battlemaster. I could have taken him without my right arm."

"You mean not using your right arm?"

"No. I meant even if my right arm was ripped off in the fight just before."

Wrex had a knack for ending conversations, and there was nothing left to say. They reached the Mako in silence. Inside, Tali was at her co-pilot station, busy warming up the Mako. Dr. T'Soni was sitting in one of the extra troop transport seats, head down and looking more than a bit exhausted. Shepard put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She looked up and gave a weak smile in return.

As he reached his seat, Tali spoke. "Shepard, we need to get out of here! I'm reading a lot of seismic activity. I think the mining laser might have triggered an eruption."

Shepard wasted no time in driving away, just as an earthquake rocked the ground beneath them. "Joker, where are you?! We need to go now!"

"Right behind you, Commander. Ready when you are."

Shepard slammed on the thrusters, and the Mako rocketed upwards. The _Normandy_ swooped in behind, catching them in her cargo hold. As the ship took off toward outer space, the mountain they were just on erupted. Molten rock spewed from the mine's entrance and covered the hill they were on just minutes before.

* * *

Liara sat in what the rest of the crew called "the mess" with a tray full of food. She was grateful that she was out of that stasis field and off that horrid rock. She was also grateful to have a hot meal in front of her and a safe place to sleep. The asari was trapped in that stasis field for at least a day, though the exact time was hard to gauge. Liara hadn't eaten and found it difficult to sleep in such an unstable predicament.

Her reception on the ship, however, left something to be desired. Most of the crew treated her with an odd mixture of coldness and contempt. If they spoke to her at all, the sentences were usually short and to the point. Liara realized that it was probably due to her mother's actions, and she hoped that they will eventually view her in a different light.

There were a few on the ship that didn't treat Liara with such disdain. Tali seemed to take a liking to her. It was probably because she was the only other female alien on board, even though that was technically incorrect since the asari race was monogendered. Dr. Chakwas was very considerate and motherly as she looked over Liara's medical condition. She half expected the elderly human to pat her on the head and send her off to bed at the end of the exam. Alenko, or Kaiden as he liked to be called by anyone outside the Alliance military, was one of the first to worry about her well-being besides the commander.

Thinking of Kaiden seemed to have summoned him for he was closing in on her with his own tray.

"Hey, Dr. T'Soni. How are you doing?"

"I am fine, Kaiden, thank you. And I thought I told you to call me Liara."

The man laughed. "Sorry about that. It's a force of habit, military doctrine and all. How are you liking the _Normandy_?"

"This ship is very impressive. I have never seen anything like it."

"I certainly hope not. This ship is supposed to be the most advanced and confidential boat in the galaxy," said a slightly metallic voice behind her.

Liara looked over to see Tali taking a seat next to her with two tubes of what appeared to be a paste. She attached one of them to a port on her helmet.

Kaiden finished swallowing a mouthful of food. "That sounds like something the commander would say."

"Because it is," Tali responded, a mouthful of paste making her voice muffled. She audibly swallowed. "He said it to me the first time he came to visit me in engineering."

The quarian's comment reminded Liara of her conversation with Shepard only half an hour ago. He came to check on how she was doing after everything that had happened on Therum. It was comforting to know that someone was there, looking out for and welcoming her to the new environment.

Eventually, the conversation turned to Liara and her work. It was painfully obvious that she wasn't comfortable talking to someone of a different species. Liara had made a comment that implied that the commander would be an interesting specimen to study, seeing that he had survived an encounter with active prothean technology. He indulgenced himself by letting her make a fool of herself, allowing her to believe that Shepard was offended and appalled by her audacity. Liara was very embarrassed after he stopped her stammering by telling her he was merely joking. She blushed fiercely then, her cheeks turning a deep purple.

Even now, the memory of the moment caused her to blush. Fortunately, no one at the table noticed. Instead, they continued the conversation, and it had turned toward the commander.

"I better get to go on the next mission," Garrus said. He and several other crew members joined them, probably while Liara wasn't paying attention. "I want to see Shepard in action for myself. I'm not sure if I believe everything you say."

"But I'm telling you the truth!" Tali retorted. "Wrex, help me out here. You think Shepard is amazing in a firefight, right?"

Wrex was standing in the food line plopping a mixture of the leftover lunch on to his tray. He grunted. "I was too busy blasting robots to notice." A wicked grin formed. "What were you doing? Eyeing him instead of fighting?"

"What?!" Tali shrieked. "N-n-n-no. I was… It's just…" Tali's head drop, and her hands moved over one another.

The table snickered a little, trying to fight back laughs.

Liara knew that feeling and decided to help the young, embarrassed quarian. "Tali is correct though, Officer Vakarian. Commander Shepard is a sight to behold on the battlefield. I only saw him fight for a little bit, but he moved so quickly and efficiently. I can understand why the Council made him a Spectre."

This time, it was Kaiden's turn to comment. "Looks like the commander has two admirers."

The table erupted in laughter this time, no longer able to hold back. Liara stared at her lap, trying to hide her blushing face. Tali was doing the same next to her.

Just at that moment, the man in question, Commander Shepard, rounded the wall that separated the mess from the stairs to the CIC. "Sounds like you guys are having fun. What did I miss?"

Tali and Liara both stiffened in fear that the conversation might be relayed. It didn't help that all the other Alliance military crew members stood up and saluted.

"Officer on deck!"

"As you were." After everyone retook their seat, he continued. "Now what were you all laughing at?"

One of the servicemen started to speak. "Oh, we were just talking about how these two – OW!"

The man was silenced by a dinner roll aimed directly at his temple. Everyone turned toward the offender, and they were surprised to find that it was Kaiden that threw the stale projectile.

"We were just joking with our newest crewmembers. Nothing worth mentioning," he said as he smiled at Shepard.

"Uh huh," he said suspiciously. Shepard definitely wasn't convinced that the laughter was innocent. "Well, anyway, we have a new mission on Sharjila. Wrex and Garrus are with me. Chief Williams will be in charge of the other ground team with Lieutenant Alenko's in reserve. Go ahead and take your time eating, though. It will take almost two hours before we reach our destination. Be ready next to the Mako in an hour and thirty for the briefing."

"We'll be ready, sir," Kaiden answered.

Shepard nodded. "I'll be in my cabin if anyone needs me."

As the CO left, the idle chatter at the table began again. Liara leaned across the table and whispered to Kaiden.

"Thank you for stopping him."

"No problem," he whispered back. "It wasn't all selfless though. I don't think the commander would like us picking on you two anyway."

She sat back into her seat. Tali started to chatter about the _Normandy_'s drive core and all of the advanced technology that was put into her. Liara only half-listened, instead thinking about how grateful she was that she was here instead of being trapped in a bubble on Therum.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The elevator doors opened on the lower level of the _Normandy_, and Kaiden quickly left its slow moving confines and headed toward Garrus who was working on the Mako.

"What the hell happened down there?"

The turian was caught by surprised by the urgency in Kaiden's voice. "What? What do you mean?"

Alenko was losing patience. "The commander came back furious. He gave a destination to Joker and went straight to his room, weapons and armor still on. So what happened down there, Garrus?"

"I would like to know too," Ashley said as she joined the two men. "When we picked you up from the base after our mission, he was radiating anger. I've never seen the commander lose his cool like that before."

Garrus shrugged. "To be honest, I'm not sure. We got dropped off by Williams, entered the compound, and killed the kidnappers inside. We didn't find the asari's sister there, but we did find a data terminal. I think Shepard found something there that he didn't like because, after he searched through it, his entire mood changed."

"What do you think he found?" Williams asked.

"Could be anything," Garrus responded. "Maybe that the asari was already moved, or they killed her after they got the ransom money. I believe Shepard downloaded a copy of the log, but I doubt he will let anyone see it. He didn't want me or Wrex to see it anyway."

A silence fell on the group as they contemplated what could have set the commander off.

Finally, Kaiden spoke. "Regardless of what was on it, the entire situation was already a sensitive for the commander. It would have only taken a spark to set him off. Looks like you guys found more than that."

Williams nodded, fully understanding Alenko's point. Garrus, however, felt a little bit left out.

"Why would this mission be any different than the others?" he asked.

The two human soldiers looked at each other, trying to decide whether or not they should tell him.

"Do you think the commander would mind us telling about his past?" Ashley asked.

Kaiden shrugged. "It really depends on his mood. Normally – no. Right now – yes." He turned back to Garrus. "Promise not to let Shepard know that we told you until after he calms down a bit?"

"I promise."

Kaiden sighed, reluctant to tell the story. "Shepard was born on Mindoir located in the Attican Traverse. When he was sixteen, batarian slavers attacked the colony and killed all of his friends and family. Kidnapping is just more focused slaving. From what I've heard, he has never had a high tolerance for gangs that deal in slaves."

"The lieutenant is putting it lightly," Williams interjected. "I've heard of survivors of his attacks, and I mean survivors, claiming that the commander was the devil. They gave up valuable information just for protection from him."

"Well that explains what I saw in the base. He was completely different than usual. I didn't see any of what Tali talked about, no 'flow-y and elegant' movements. He was almost feral. I only saw bulrushes and brute force."

"If I didn't know better, I would think he was in a blood rage," Wrex yelled from the other side of the cargo hold. "He has to be a krogan. No other explanation for him."

"Then where are his redundant organs? Or his hump? Or his crest?" Garrus yelled back.

"Never said he was a pretty krogan."

"Didn't know there were such things," Ashley mumbled underneath her breath.

Kaiden smirked, but then grew serious again. "Well, regardless of personal theories, we should give the commander some time. It hasn't even been a week since Eden Prime. A lot has happened since then, and I think he needs a break."

Wrex huffed. "Shepard doesn't need a babysitter, Alenko. He can take care of himself."

"Regardless, he needs some time off. Anything anyone needs comes to me or Pressly. Spread the word."

"Then you better let our newest member know," Garrus said. "I think the doctor wanted to talk to him about the prothean beacon after the mission."

Alenko swore and took off toward the elevator.

"That can't be good," Williams quietly said.

* * *

During the meal, Liara got the distinct feeling of uselessness. Everyone else on the crew had some use on the _Normandy_ beyond being on the ground team. Lt. Alenko and Gunnery Chief Williams had their Alliance duties to the marines on board. Tali'Zorah was an excellent engineer according to others in engineering. Garrus Vakarian worked well with tech and was constantly working on improving the Mako. And Wrex… Wrex was just Wrex. He didn't need another job.

Liara had little practical skills that could help around the ship. She was an archeological researcher. Her day usually consisted of reading datapads, studying ancient technology, or writing papers. She wracked her brain, searching for anything that she could bring to the table.

Finally, the solution came to her. It was so simple that she was surprised it didn't come to her sooner. Liara may not be able to help with duties around the ship, but she was one of the most knowledgeable researchers on prothean technology. She could help the commander figure out what the Conduit was. She never heard of it before and doubted it would be easy to find, but it would be better than doing nothing.

Liara left her personal room and the med bay. She crossed the mess and closed in on Shepard's quarters. It surprised her that the doors didn't open automatically when she closed the distance. Shepard had told her that his door was always open. Even though it was a short time, she never needed to ask for permission to enter. Liara hesitated for a moment before hitting the call button.

"Enter."

The door unlocked and slide apart to allow the asari into Shepard's room. He was sitting at his desk, his head down as he scrutinized a datapad. "What do you need?" he asked without looking at who just entered.

She could have been mistaken, but Liara thought that his tone was harsher than normal. _I must be overanalyzing it. It's probably due my inexperience dealing with humans_, she thought.

"I was musing on how I may be able to contribute to squad. I believe that my knowledge of the protheans will help us decode the messages in the beacons."

He finally stopped what he was doing and studied her. "One problem with that, Dr. T'Soni: the vision is in my head. I don't know how you can decode them while they are in here," Shepard stated flatly as he pointed to his head.

Liara was a little startled by Shepard's tone. It was obvious that something was amiss. "Asari physiology allows us to connect with people on a," she took a moment to find the best word to describe the joining, "deeper way. We can connect with each other's and alien's nervous systems and share memories or emotions. I could connect with your mind and experience the prothean beacon the same way you did."

Shepard's eyebrow shot up. "You want to probe my mind?"

Her eyes widened. "No! I mean, in a sense, yes, but it would be completely voluntary. I will only look into the vision from the prothean beacon. I will not invade your privacy."

He thought for a moment, taking in the asari's proposition. Finally, he answered her. "Fine. What do I have to do for this joining?"

Liara sighed quietly, relieved that the human didn't have her thrown out the airlock for simply suggesting this process. "Just close your eyes, and empty your mind, Commander." She walked towards Shepard who had done what she asked. She blinked, and her eyes transformed into inky black orbs. "Embrace eternity!"

As Liara joined their consciousness, she was shocked at the fortitude of Shepard's mind. While she has only joined minds with others a few times, mostly during her early years when she was being taught how to responsibly use her abilities, they were generally easy to navigate and felt only vaguely filled with the emotions of the person. The entire process gave her the impression of what flying would be like.

Shepard's mind, however, felt more like swimming through thick syrup and was overloaded with anger. Liara found it difficult to discern the memory with the prothean beacon from the background noise. She also had a distinct impression of being stalked by something menacing. It seemed to growl at her presence, and it made Liara uneasy. It would be best to find what she was looking for and leave quickly.

Finally, she found the memory she had been in search of. It took much longer than she expected, and Shepard's mental barriers had left her mentally exhausted. She hoped that the vision itself wouldn't be as taxing as the search, but Liara knew that it was only wishful thinking. It knocked the commander unconscious for the majority of a day. It wasn't going to be easy on her.

She touched it and was slammed with images. They flooded into her mind so quickly that it was hard to separate what was pertinent and what was not. Liara saw machines razing cities, people frozen in terror, and planets burning. The scenes were terrible sights.

Then, the images changed slightly. Instead of seeing faceless beings, humans began to appear in the vision, their faces distinct and clear. Liara witness a city burning, but it was no longer machines on the attack. Batarians were the aggressors, and they weren't just attacking the city. They were taking slaves as well.

Liara finally realized that this vision did not originate from the beacon. Shepard's mind must have combined prothean message with what appears to be a personal memory, but she did not know for what purpose. Liara did feel that menacing presence again, but the air around it was different. It seemed proud at the scene that was playing out in front of her, smiling with smug satisfaction.

Before she could dive deeper into this new mystery, a wall materialized, and she was forced from his mind. It was not gentle. Liara opened her eyes to see Shepard staring at her silently, his gaze hard. She took a retreating step, trying to put some distance in between her and his eyes.

"Well?" he finally asked.

"The vision was," she hesitated, "jumbled. I believe that the beacon you found on Eden Prime was not in perfect working order, and the message given to you was incomplete. It is probably why it blew up in the way that it did. It may take me some time to process everything I saw."

"All right. Let me know if anything makes sense to you, Doctor," Shepard said as he returned to his seat.

"Of course, Commander. And please, call me Liara."

He nodded as a response and went back to the datapad. She got the feeling that she was dismissed. She walked out of the room. After the cabin's doors closed behind her, Liara's legs weakened underneath her and stumbled. A pair of hands grabbed her shoulders to hold her up.

"Are you okay?"

Liara looked up to see Kaiden holding her up with a worried look on his face. "Yes, I am fine. Shepard's mind is incredibly strong. Melding with him was taxing."

"Melding?" Kaiden asked.

"Yes. I joined my consciousness with the commander, hoping that I could provide some insight to the prothean vision. I was not fully prepared to handle it."

"So you mind probed him?"

Liara was getting a little flustered with everyone calling the joining a "mind probe." "I only went in to see what the vision showed him! He could have stopped me at any time! In fact, he did!"

"All right, all right. Maybe mind probing was not the best term to use." He looked past her toward the door to Shepard's cabin. "I wouldn't want to go into his mind right now though. It won't be a pretty sight."

"There was something that intrigued me. While accessing the beacon's message, other images, obviously not from the beacon, mixed with it. I saw batarians attacking a city and taking slaves. There were others there that seemed important to him. The last thing I felt before Shepard pushed me out was… grief." She looked at the lieutenant, her eyes asking the questions she was too hesitant to vocalize.

Kaiden glanced toward the crew members sitting in the mess having a meal. "Let me help you back to your room. I'll try to explain as best as I can."

They made it to the privacy of Liara's room. Kaiden helped her sit down on her cot, while he took the chair at the desk.

"How much do you know about the commander?" he asked her.

"Not much. I looked up a few stories about him on the extranet. I did not even know he was a Spectre until I saw the news report."

Kaiden smiled in spite of the situation. "That's Shepard. He was never one to take any glory for the things that he has done. He's too humble. Did the news reports say anything about his past?"

She shook her head. "They were remarkably lacking in that aspect. They simply stated that he was raised on a human colony."

"He was. Unfortunately, it was attacked by batarian slavers when he was sixteen. Almost everyone he knew were either taken or killed in the raid. He doesn't like to talk about it or be reminded about it, so he asked that the Alliance keeps the full details from being shared with the press."

"Well, that does help to explain some of the images I saw. But why was it mixed with the prothean beacon? And why was his whole conscious filled with anger?"

Kaiden took a minute to answer. "With the latter question, Shepard found something on the planet that angered him greatly. Considering that he was dealing with slavers, it probably didn't have to be much. With the former, I haven't a clue."

They sat together silently, pondering the implications of what Liara saw. After a few minutes, Kaiden rose from his seat and turned to leave. "Well, I better get my duties squared away. We are heading back to the Citadel. It appears that the commander has some important business there, and, given the state that he is in, I believe it's the type that could involve bullets."

With that, he left, leaving Liara alone in her room. She moved from her cot to the now vacant desk. The lieutenant had been deliberately sparse on details when he was recounting Shepard's history. Unfortunately for him, she was an archeologist. Her job was to make connections on limited information. Liara had little doubt that she would fill in the missing pieces.

* * *

Alenko found the commander at his locker, busy putting on a lighter armor set that he wears when not expecting combat. He did have his pistol on his hip already.

"I'm coming with you," Kaiden said matter-of-factly. He opened his own locker and began putting on his armor.

Shepard stopped fixing his pauldron. "No, you aren't. I can take care of this myself. I don't need you there."

"I know you don't need me there, but I'm going regardless."

"I'm with LT on this one, Commander."

Shepard turned around to see Williams in the beginning stages of putting her armor on. "You too, Chief? I could order you two to stay aboard the ship."

"That's one order we wouldn't be able to follow," Ashley answered.

"You can relieve us of duty or even court-martial if you want. We are going with you," Kaiden finished.

Shepard stared at the lieutenant with a hard gaze. It seemed to have no effect on the man as he continued to don his armor. He turned toward the chief, and the fire in his eyes worked just as well as they did on Alenko. Finally, he relented. "Fine. Be in the airlock in ten. I'm not going to wait for you."

When they arrived, Shepard wasted no time starting the airlock cycle. As soon as the doors opened, he quickly made his way toward C-Sec headquarters and then the embassies. Williams and Alenko had to almost jog just to keep up with him.

Finally, they entered the bar located near the embassies. Shepard scanned the place until he found a lone asari sitting at a table next to the bar. Ashley saw his hand clench tightly and briefly headed toward his pistol. Shepard shook his shoulders, trying to force himself to relax. He headed toward his contact.

"Nassana Dantius?" Shepard asked. He tried to keep his voice calm and even, but Alenko and Williams could hear the subtle tones of anger.

The asari looked up from her datapad and smiled back. "And you must be Commander Shepard. I must admit, I thought you would be taller. Have a seat. Care for a drink?"

"I'm not here for pleasantries. I'm here to talk about your sister."

Dantius' eyes narrowed, but her tone stayed even. "I can assume that you found her then."

"You're damn right, I did." Shepard threw the datapad he had been carrying onto the table. "You used me," he said forcefully.

Dantius raised her hand in an effort to calm the man in front of her down. "Maybe we should talk about this in a more private location."

Shepard did not calm down. "Scared that your little secret is going to get out? Your sister was never kidnapped. She was a slaver! She blackmailed you, and you paid. Then, she was asking for more. You couldn't have that, so you sicced me on her to clean up your mess. I should bring you in right now."

Alenko and Williams finally understood what had made Shepard so upset. What was supposed to be a rescue mission that may bring a family back together turned into a cover up for a spoiled asari that didn't want her reputation ruined. Worse of all, Dantius knew that her sister was a slaver and did nothing to stop her.

"Now hold on a minute," Dantius replied. Her voice was beginning to lose its easiness. "If I'm in custody, you don't get your reward. I have many connections. I can make your life easier."

Shepard slammed his hands on the table. The bar quieted at the noise. "I don't give a damn about your money or your connections!" He leaned closer toward the asari. In a low, but threatening voice, he said, "There is only one way I don't arrest you right now. You use your wealth and connections," the last three words were spit out, "and help the people your sister hurt. If I hear of you doing anything even remotely close to this again, I'll make sure the Dantius victims will get justice. Do I make myself clear?"

The asari's eyes were narrow, and her voice failed to hide her rage. "Crystal."

"Good." Shepard straightened. "I'm giving you a second chance, Dantius. Don't make me regret it."

All eyes were on Shepard as the three marines left the embassy bar. The tension in his shoulders didn't relent until they were out of the embassy waiting room. He went to the edge of the walkway that overlooked the artificial lake and grasped the railing with both hands. His head hung low, and his shoulders drooped. The only noise came from muted conversations from the waiting room and Avina, the Citadel VI guide.

"So, that got pretty heated," Williams said, finally breaking the solemn silence. "Are you okay, Commander?"

Shepard did not answer and continued to stare at the water below. He didn't move. They could barely tell that he was breathing. It took Ashley putting a hand on his shoulder to finally stir him.

Shepard turned toward his squad mates. "Let's get going. Saren isn't going wait for us to get our act together," he said smiling.

However, his eyes told a very different story. They appeared heavy and sluggish. All of the intensity that radiated from them on the _Normandy_ was drained. Everything that had happened in the past week seemed to drain the energy from Shepard. He was no longer the soldier, but a survivor that was weary and almost defeated.

Unfortunately, the galaxy gave no rest for weary. Shepard's omnitool chimed, notifying him of an incoming call. He accepted the call and pressed his fingers to his ear.

"Commander Shepard here," he said. His voice was once again firm, and the fragility Williams and Alenko saw vanished. He was once again the commander they were used to seeing.

"Sorry to bother you, Commander. This is Lt. Girard, Alliance. We have a situation here in the docking bay. When I heard you were on the Citadel, I was hoping you could help."

Shepard didn't hesitate. "Give me the coordinates, Lt. I'll be there as soon as I can."

They quickly made their way to Lt. Girard's location. As they approached, the squad noticed a sniper perched on a stack of crates and two soldiers with their assault rifles drawn. Another man noticed their arrival and met them.

"Commander Shepard," the man said as he straightened and saluted. "I am Lt. Girard."

Shepard saluted back. "What's the situation, Lieutenant?"

"We were transporting a group of slaves an Alliance team rescued from a batarian mine when one of them grabbed a pistol and ran beyond those crates over there. We have a sniper set up, but I don't want it to come to that. I hope that you will be able to talk her down and get her to take this sedative."

Shepard took the drug from Girard. "Got it. Do you know anything specific about the person?"

Girard looked a little discouraged. "Unfortunately, batarians don't keep much personal information in their slave records. The only piece that is worth noting is that she was taken from Mindoir. That is one of the reasons why I asked you to help."

Shepard's eyes widened, and his heart began to race at the mention of his home planet. His hand went to his chest, and he peered toward the woman hiding behind the crates. When he was finally able to calm himself, he handed his weapons to Williams and Alenko and even went so far to unfasten his utility belt. "I'm going in alone. No one is to do anything without my express permission. Understood?"

Girard, Williams, Alenko, and the men within speaking distance answered, "Aye, aye, sir." No one was going to even dream about disobeying the order. Shepard's tone demanded respect.

He slowly walked toward the young woman hiding behind the crates. Once she noticed him approaching, she raised the pistol at him.

"St-stop! Wha-what are you?"

"My name is Commander Shepard. One of those men over there, Lt. Girard, asked me to come talk to you," Shepard answered as an easy smile appeared on his face. "What is your name?"

"Animals don't get names. The masters place the hot iron on her back, marking her as theirs. She just gets a number that the masters call her by."

"You are more than an animal," he reassured. "Think back and try to remember. What did people call you before you were taken from your home? What did your family call you?"

The young woman slowly lowered the pistol. "She doesn't remember a lot of things." She stopped and thought for a moment. Shepard could see her face contort as she tried to recall anything about herself.

"Ta-Talitha," She finally said. "She used to be called that. She… she doesn't remember the rest."

The smile on Shepard's face remained, but his mind was racing. Talitha was the name of Scott Jefferson's little sister. She was six at the time of the raid, so she would be around nineteen by now. The woman standing in front of him was around the same age. She could be Talitha Jefferson. Shepard would need more information to be positive.

"What do you remember about the raid, when they took you?"

Talitha wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, the gun still firmly in her grip. "She hears sirens making loud noises. She wonders what is going on. She felt the ground rumble, and the air smelled funny. Mo…," she struggles with the word like it was once very important, but then lost all meaning with its lack of use. "Mommy was pulling on her so hard, telling her to run. She was taken into a room with a lot of other animals. They were scared.

"Then the masters came. They broke through the door, screaming at the animals inside. The masters held the animals down and chained them together. She pretended that she was dead so they would leave her alone. But they know. They always know.

"The masters take them to their boats. They put wires into the animals and poke them with hot sticks. She doesn't want to remember the rest. It hurts to remember. Don't make her remember the rest!"

"It's okay, Talitha. You couldn't be much older than six when the raid happened. No one is going to blame you for not wanting to live through it again. Now, I'm going to take a step closer to you, okay?"

Shepard took a step closer to Talitha. She tensed up, but didn't raise the gun again.

"Don't come closer!" she screamed. "She doesn't want to be handled again."

"Okay, okay," he said as he put his hands up to try to calm her. "Tell me about your parents, your family."

"Mommy, mommy was taken with her. The masters poked mommy and put wires into mommy. They put mommy and her in same cage. Mommy tried to comfort her, but she could see mommy's tears. The masters took mommy away from her a while later, before she arrived in the dirt. She cries when she thinks about mommy. The master beats her for wasting the water."

"What about your dad? Did you see him?" Shepard asked

Talitha shook her head. "She wanted to see daddy. Daddy was always busy working. It's why mommy and her went into town. She never... she never got to see daddy before the masters came."

Her story was consistent with what could have happened to Talitha Jefferson, but Shepard had to be sure. "Was there anyone else in your family? Any brothers or sisters?"

She thought for a moment. Her eyes lit up as parts of her memory returned. "Yes! There was someone older that her, but not as old as mommy or daddy. They weren't like her. They were like you, a… he."

"Do you remember his name?" He was pressing now.

"She called him C-Co-Cott. Mommy and daddy laughed at her when she called him that."

"Cott…" Shepard repeated as he looked away. It was what Talitha Jefferson called her older brother, Scott. This was her. He was sure of it now.

When he looked back, Shepard saw Talitha looking at him quizzically. He mentally kicked himself. This should be about her, about getting her calmed down, not about satisfying his curiosity. "Tell me about your escape."

She scowled. "Animals like her came, but they were different. They didn't follow the master's orders. They carried guns and made the master explode. She tried to fix them, tried to put back all the red and purple parts so the master wouldn't beat her. But they didn't move. The other animals take her. She doesn't want to go with them."

"That's okay. All you have known for thirteen years is abuse. The master was your lifeline. They fed you and clothed you and gave you a place to sleep. They were your center.

"But it's different now. You are more than your master's animal. You are a person with your own dreams, goals, and desires. With time, you will be your own center."

Talitha cradled her head in both hands, still never letting go of the gun. "No! No, you're wrong! Animals are nothing without the master. The animals that came can't be real. No, they can't see her. 'Cause, if they see her, that means they are real. That means it is real: the wires, the cages, the beatings. But it can't be. That all happened to some other girl, a dirty, stupid girl." She began to plea. "She doesn't want them to see her. Why do they see her? She wants them to go away."

Shepard takes a few steps forward with arms outstretched, ready to comfort Talitha. He was quickly stopped when she screamed at him.

"Don't touch her!"

Talking to her wasn't working like Shepard had hoped. He was running out of topics to discuss and only made a little bit of progress in calming her down. It was time to change tactics. "I was on Mindoir when they took you. My family died in the raid."

Talitha bristled. "Liar! You get hit for lying. You couldn't be there. You don't look like her. Why are you alive?! Why don't you look like her, only good for digging and carrying?"

"But I was like you. I was broken for a very long time. Some of the pieces still don't fit perfectly. I lost my friends, my family, my childhood, but I had to pick myself up. I needed to keep going." Shepard was surprised by the words coming from his mouth. Never before had he shared about what had happened on that day so earnestly. It was… releasing.

"You lost your mommy and your daddy, but you don't dig. You stand up," Talitha said. There was awe in her calm voice. "She wishes she could stand up."

"You can, Talitha, if you make the right choices. First, let me have the pistol." Shepard offered his hand, waiting for the gun.

Talitha looked at her hand and noticed the gun. Shepard saw surprise dance across her face as she realized that she was still holding the weapon. She quickly placed it into Shepard's hand. He holstered it without taking his eyes of Talitha. He then took one final step towards her.

"Don't touch her," she said weakly. "She's dirty."

Shepard gently held her upper arms with his hands and smiled at her. "There's nothing dirty about you, Talitha, that can't be taken care of with a little soap and water." He reached into one of his pouches attached to his armor.

"This is a sedative," he said as he showed her the pill. "This will help you sleep, and, when you wake up, you will be in a place where you can get better."

She took the pill from him and swallowed it with only a moment of hesitation. "Will there be bad dreams?" she asked.

Shepard didn't want to lie to her, so he pulled Talitha into a hug. "Just think of a warm, welcoming place. When you wake up, you will be there."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "She would like that. She wants to get better. It hurts when she… when I remember me. But I want to remember."

They stood like that for a moment, waiting for the sedative to begin its work. Talitha broke the silence. "Your suit is hard," she said, groggily.

Shepard chuckled. "It is, isn't it? Sorry about that, Tal."

"Tal," she repeated. "There were people who used to call her… call me that." She raised her head to look at him briefly. She smiled and returned her head to her place on his shoulder. "Thank you, Rex."

Shepard's hand would have gone to the place on his chest where the dog tags rested underneath his armor, but Talitha's drooping body would not allow it. He quickly wrapped one arm around the back of her knees and the other supporting her back. Once Shepard made sure he had a hold of her, he looked down to see her sleeping peacefully. He walked back to the waiting group of Alliance personnel and his squad and found that they had brought out a stretcher for Talitha. He gently laid her on it before turning to Lt. Girard.

"She took the sedative."

"That's good," Girard replied. "I'm glad you could help us bring this to a peaceful conclusion." His eyes did not display the same emotion as his words did. They appeared demoralized.

"What's wrong, Lieutenant?"

"It's just, what good are we soldiers if we can't protect one little girl?"

"Don't do that to yourself. We can't be everywhere at once. Focus on those you can help."

Girard nodded. "Yes, Commander. I guess I should start with her. Just wish there was more information about her."

Shepard's eyes focused on the young woman on the stretcher. It was a sad look. "Her name is Talitha Jefferson. She was six, maybe seven years old when the raid hit. Her mother was taken with her, but they got separated before she reached the mines. The rest of her family died in the raid." His hand went to his chest.

"How, how do you know all that, sir?" Williams asked.

His eyes never left Talitha's sleeping form. "Because I knew her family. Her brother was a good friend." Shepard turned to Girard. "Keep me informed about her condition, and, if you need anything, and I mean anything, let me know."

The lieutenant saluted. "Yes, sir. Thanks again for all your help."

Girard's attention turned toward the sleeping Talitha. Shepard began to head toward the exit.

Once they were a fair distance away from the group of Alliance personnel, Alenko asked, "Where are we going now, Commander?"

"Back to the ship. I've had enough of this place for one day."

* * *

Liara again found herself on her way to Shepard's door. She was going there to apologize. While he was on the Citadel, the asari dove into the extranet, looking for anything she could find on the commander. What she uncovered was worse than she could imagine, and she felt guilty about searching into his past without asking for permission.

Unlike last time, the cabin door slid open as she approached it. Shepard was sitting at his desk, looking over a datapad. He turned toward her as she entered the cabin.

"Liara. I was about to come see you. I hoped to talk to you," Shepard said with a small smile.

"You wish to speak to me?" Liara asked surprised.

"Yes." He moved from his desk to the bed and offered the seat. "Please, come in and have a seat."

After she took the seat, Shepard continued. "I wanted to apologize to you. When you came in here earlier, I wasn't in the best state of mind, and I took it out on you. You were just trying to help and didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."

Liara turned light shade of purple and looked down in embarrassment. She wasn't used to someone being so straight forward with her. "It is quite all right. If I had known that you were not in the best of moods, I would have never suggested the melding."

"Did it disrupt with the process?" Shepard asked.

"Yes and no. When an asari bonds with a person, their emotions are the first thing that is shared. Since they are so primal, it is hard to filter them out like thoughts or memories. When we bonded, your emotions made it difficult to access the beacon vision."

He shook his head. "I guess I put you through more than I realized. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'll be sure to warn you if anything like that happens again. Is there anything else I should know about if we decide to try it again?"

Liara wanted to say something about how he violently pushed her out of his mind, but she didn't want to make the commander feel guiltier than he already does. "Nothing comes to mind."

Shepard nodded. After a few minutes of silence, he smiled and asked, "I'm sure you didn't come here just to look at my pretty face. Is there something you need?"

"Oh, of course. My apologies, Commander."

"Please, Liara. If I can call you by your first name, then you have to at least stop calling me by my rank."

"All right." She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "I actually came here to apologize to you as well, Shepard."

"Apologize? What for?"

"While I was watching the prothean beacon in your memory, another set of images invaded. They seemed to be a memory, a very important memory. It appeared traumatic, and I wanted to know what happened. So, I began to search the extranet for stories about you."

"So you did see that. I was hoping that you didn't." He flashed a disarming smile at the asari, hoping it conveys that he wasn't upset with her. "I would say that you didn't have search behind my back, but, with the state I was in, I doubt you wanted to deal with me again.

"You know, I'm not really surprised. You've spent much of your life digging up clues to how the prothean's think. You probably couldn't keep yourself from trying to figure out what was going on up here," Shepard said as he pointed to his head. "I do wonder though. Is it me you're interested in or the prothean beacon that was jammed into my head?"

Liara looked a bit guilty. "I must admit: it was the vision that first led me to search for your background. But, the more I learned, the more I realized that the beacon was merely a chapter in your life story. Most would have been defined by the experience, but you have done so much, lived through so much that it was almost like another day of being Commander Shepard."

Shepard laughed. It wasn't cruel, but wasn't full of amusement either. "I certainly hope not. That beacon knocked me out cold for hours. I don't think I could do that every day."

"Be that as it may, you still have a great number of achievements on your record. If I earn half of the number of accommodations that you have, even in my thousand year lifespan, I would find my life fulfilling."

"I'm not sure if I agree with you, but thank you for saying that."

"You are very welcome."

A companionable silence filled the room. Shepard was about to say that he needs to get back to his duties, but Liara started to speak before the words came out.

"Shepard, I have a request."

"What is it?" he asked.

"I, uh, I was hoping that you would allow me to meld with you. I wanted to experience that memory again."

Shepard looked at her quizzically. "Why would you want to do that? I can't imagine it was a fun experience the first time."

Liara looked away. "I know it is an odd request, but, when I was researching your history, I found quite a variety of stories. Yet, none of them echoed with the same emotions that your memory did. I believe that revisiting it will help me understand what I saw better."

Shepard still appeared puzzled. "Does this have to do with the prothean beacon in my head?"

Liara blushed. No, it wasn't directly related to the vision. This was more about satisfying her curiosity about the man in front of her. "It started that way, but, the more I read about you, the more I wanted to know, to understand the man."

Shepard took a moment to consider what she was asking. Liara squirmed under his gaze. She did not know if she had offended him. She already made a fool of herself once. It seemed as if she was doing it again.

"This was an unreasonable thing to ask. Forget I-"

"It's fine with me," Shepard interrupted. He laughed at the surprised face that Liara was making. "What's that face for?"

"I just… I never thought you would agree. After asking, I realized how ridiculous it was."

"It's not unreasonable or ridiculous. You are putting your faith in me to keep you in one piece as we run around the galaxy after Saren. It's understandable that you want to know about me. The Alliance crew has the luxury of my personnel file. You and the other non-Alliance members of this crew don't get that. So, to make it fair, I will answer any questions you may have. Of course, with you, Liara, it would be quicker just to bond with me."

On Shepard's face was an easy smile. It was there to reassure Liara and calm her down. It had the opposite effect. Her face heated up, and she couldn't look directly at him. She was struggling to hear anything besides the pounding in her ears.

Shepard's smile changed into a worried look. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, of course," she responded a tad too quickly. "Close your eyes." She needed him to stop looking at her for Liara had to regain control of her emotions before she synced her nervous system with Shepard's. Plus, she couldn't concentrate with him watching her. "Embrace eternity."

The differences in Shepard's pervious state of mind and his current one were drastic. The syrup that Liara had to contend with was gone. The rage that permeated his mind was no longer there, and the presence she felt before was absent.

Instead, there was a sense of calm and just a hint of trepidation. Liara wasn't surprise. This was only the second time Shepard has shared his mind like this, and he was too preoccupied by whatever was plaguing him to worry about it the first time.

Fortunately, Liara didn't have to search long to find the memory that she wished to see. She felt that Shepard had a hand in that, bringing it to the forefront of his mind for her easy access. She touched it and was propelled into the memory.

It was remarkably well kept for being thirteen year olds. Any experience was subject to decay as time went on. His was full of details Liara did not expect: sensations, conversations, emotions. All were sharp and clear as if Shepard had experience them only yesterday. Oddly, there were memories that did not seem to fit, flashbacks of a certain younger sister of a friend. Talitha Jefferson seemed to be her name.

While Liara did not expect the memory to be a pleasant one, she wasn't prepared for what she experienced through Shepard. Once the raid started, fear was a constant companion even though it was suppressed by the responsibility he felt for the group of young people he was with.

She watched his private moments in the forest with his "girlfriend," an Amanda Stone, and felt a twinge of jealousy she wasn't prepared for. Liara hoped that Shepard wasn't aware that he could feel her emotions just as she felt his. There was little hope of that after she felt his present consciousness filled with amusement.

It quickly changed as the attention was back on the memory. Dread and guilt welled up as they watched the group near the edge of the forest. It was such an intense emotion that Liara was beginning to think that she should stop the joining to keep Shepard from re-experiencing what was next. He stopped her from leaving and communicated that it was okay.

Liara was choked up as watched Shepard say his goodbyes and left the group to scout the Shepard home. She was stunned to see his friend dead and girlfriend shot when he made his way back to the group. She was horrified when she had to witness Shepard's sister's throat viciously slit. She was overwhelmed by what Shepard felt as he held the last member of his group in his arms as she bled to death. Liara was not surprised when there was no joy when the Alliance soldiers found him an hour later.

After she experienced the retrieval of his sister's body, Liara felt that she had witness the most important pieces of the memory and slowly separated her consciousness from his. She finally opened her eyes to see Shepard watching her. He smiled, but it was weak and didn't reach his eyes. His hand was playing with his dog tags and a red bracelet that hung between them.

"I guess I should have warned you about how intense the memory was." Shepard got up and reached for a box filled with paper. He took out one of the light sheets and offered it to Liara. "Here."

She took it, but wasn't sure why he gave it to her. "What is this for?"

"You're crying."

She felt underneath her eyes to find that he was telling the truth. She used the light sheet to wipe away the tears. "I never realized that you had to go through so much, that you experienced so much loss, when you were so young. It must been life changing."

"It was."

Liara debated whether or not to ask the question on her mind. She hoped it wouldn't be construed as someone picking at old wounds. She was just curious about Shepard.

"You seem like you want to ask me something," Shepard said.

"Yes," Liara responded. She wasn't surprised that he read her. Shepard seemed to be skilled at knowing what she was thinking. "What were they like?"

"Didn't get enough from my memory, T'Soni?" he tried to ask lightheartedly. It fell a little flat.

"I just wanted to know what they were like before that day. They were important to you. I thought maybe talking about them would be refreshing…, Troy."

He hadn't heard his first name spoken in thirteen years. Liara was much more daring than Shepard gave her credit for. "Okay, Liara. Where should I start?"

Liara smiled. "How about your sister. Daily, was it?"


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Shepard was running through the multiple datapads on his desk from the numerous missions that were assigned to him and the _Normandy_. It had been almost a week since they picked up Liara. It seemed that every cluster he entered came with three new assignments. At this pace, they would be lucky to get to Feros next week.

He grabbed the datapad with the information on Feros and went over it for the umpteenth time. It was a unique planet because two thirds of it was covered in prothean ruins. They were in remarkable condition, considering their age. Unfortunately, the debris that had accumulated impeded ground travel, and the air was choked with dust. There was little area suitable for agriculture, making the planet difficult to inhabit.

The colonization company called ExoGeni Corporations founded the colony that existed there to this day. Their goal was to better search the prothean ruins to find any technology that hasn't been picked over by looters and scavengers. They established themselves in a few of the skyscrapers that were viable for habitation.

Shepard was worried about the safety of the colony with the reports of geth activity in the area. The last communication from them held nothing about any hostile presence, but that was also almost two weeks ago. It was why Shepard wanted to get there as fast as he could and was getting restless with all of these side missions.

He glanced at the chrono and found that it was two in the morning. A nightmare had woken him up two hours ago, so he decided to get some work done instead of possibly suffer through another. Since Liara's mind probing and subsequent conversation, they have been less frequent than what Shepard had previously experienced on the _Normandy_, but they did not completely disappear.

The lateness of the hour started to hit him, yet he wasn't completely ready to give up his work and go back to sleep. He got up and headed to the mess for a cup of coffee. As Shepard exited his cabin, he spotted a hooded figure sitting alone in the mess. Her back was to him, and she didn't seem to realize his presence.

He walked to the kitchen, got a mug, and poured himself a cup of the coffee that was always brewing. Shepard was careful not to cause too much noise and disturb the pensive quarian.

Finally, he approached the table on the opposite side of her. "Mind if I join you?"

Tali's head snapped up, and her glowing eyes widened in surprise. "Co-Commander Shepard! I'm sorry! I didn't see you there."

Shepard laughed. "It's fine, Tali. Can I sit with you?"

"Yes, of course." After he sat down, she said, "You scared me, Shepard."

He smiled. "I'm good at that. What are you doing up so late? Can't sleep?"

Her shoulders sagged. "It's too quiet here."

"Too quiet?" Shepard asked. "Don't hear that complaint very often when it comes to missed sleep."

"Back in the Flotilla, silence is the last thing you want. It means an engine has died or an air filter has shutdown. I guess you don't have to worry about that here, but old routines aren't easily forgotten, I guess."

"I know that feeling."

Her head tilted left.

Shepard watched his coffee as he swirled it. "I'm a marine. Even on leave, I get up no later than six, clean my gun, and run at least three miles every day. It has been drilled into my head since I was eighteen. It's hard to stop those habits." He looked at the quarian, shocked at what he just said. "I'm sorry, Tali. I just compared what I chose to be with what you and your people are forced with. I didn't mean it like that."

Shepard watched her, trying to find a way to pierce the visor to see her expression. They sat like this for what seemed to Shepard to be an eternity. The nervousness turned the seconds into hours. Then, Tali started to laugh. He wasn't ready for that particular response, and he was sure it showed on his face.

"Keelah, Shepard," she said through the giggles. "You're checks are sooooo red."

_Yep, definitely shows on my face_, he thought. It was nice to hear Tali laughing instead of being somber though. If it took his embarrassment to cheer the young woman up, he would gladly eat that bullet.

Finally, her laughing subsided. "Don't worry. I know you didn't mean it like that. You should be embarrassed more often. It's a good look for you."

Shepard laughed. "Why do you say that?"

"Because it's nice to see this side of you. Usually, you're a force to be reckoned with on missions, an amazing soldier. Even here, on the ship, you are so…"

"Uptight?" he offered, smiling.

Another giggle. "Not uptight. Leader-ly, responsible… authoritative. You are the ideal. It makes it hard to think of you as an ordinary person."

"Am I really that cold?"

Tali shook her head. "You aren't cold. I've only met a few people since I left the Flotilla as nice as you. I meant that you are usually so invincible. I don't get to see you embarrassed."

"Ah, I see. It's a bit of an occupational hazard. As their CO, I need to be someone these marines and crew should respect and aspire to be. Vulnerabilities detract from that."

"You sound like you wish for something different?"

He smirked. "You are too observant, Tali. Or maybe I just wear my heart on my sleeve more than I thought."

Her head tilted quizzically. "Humans can change the position of their heart?"

Shepard laughed. "No, no. It's a human expression. It means I don't hide my emotions well." He sipped his cooling coffee. "It's tough hiding your emotions from people, especially when they are as insightful as you and Lt. Alenko. But it is what it is."

"Well, you don't have to be worried about getting me to respect you," Tali responded. She looked down. "I already do."

He wondered what color she was turning beyond that visor. "Thank you. That means a lot." He drained the last of his coffee and stood. "I better get back to my cabin. I have more work to take care of before I get some sleep. Make sure you get some rest too."

"Okay. Thank you for keeping me company, Shepard."

Shepard nodded and walked toward his cabin. Just before the door, he had a thought and brought up his omnitool. He searched through file after file until he found what he was looking for. He turned back toward the quarian who was still sitting at the table.

"Tali, I have some audio files that might help you, if you want them. They are ambient noise, sounds that are there to fill the silence, and they could help you sleep. Would you like to try?"

"Sure. What kind of sounds are they?"

"The titles are 'The Rainforest,' 'Ocean Waves,' 'Bird Songs'…" Shepard's voice drifted as he realized that he did it again. He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Other stuff you are probably not familiar with. Why do I keep doing that around you?"

Tali giggled again. "I'll try them and see what works best."

"There is one in there that doesn't have an easy to remember file name, 2172 dash 03 dash something or other. It's farm equipment that I recorded myself. It's no spaceship noise, but it is mechanical."

Before he could turn, she asked him a question. "Why do you have all of these, if you don't mind me asking?"

Shepard shook his head. "Not at all." He thought for a minute about how he wanted to word his response. "Let's just say that you aren't the only one who needs a reminder of home every now and then."

With that, he walked into his cabin and fell heavily into his chair. However, instead of his hand reaching for the datapad, it held onto the red bracelet that hung in between his dog tags. The audio file did remind him of home. It was also the only thing that chased the nightmares away just after the raid. That was, until one night, it didn't.

* * *

Ashley walked through the mess. "Where is Commander Shepard?" she asked the turian and krogan that were wolfing down a meal. Their mission on Feros took much longer than expected. They spent two meal times running through dilapidated buildings fighting geth and whatever those beast that sprung from the thorian were.

Both men had mouthfuls of food. Garrus tried to swallow before speaking, but Wrex beat him to it. "He's probably taking a shower."

Ashley realized that reason he beat Garrus to the punch was that he didn't finish eating his food. Chunks of the partially chewed meal were flung from his mouth.

Garrus spoke up, slightly disgusted at Wrex's lack of table manners. "When those things that the big plant threw at us got close, they spewed some kind of corrosive liquid. Not to mention the fluid it releases when they blew up. The stuff would not come off. Quite honestly, I don't blame him. We both went for the shower before getting a bite to eat." He shoveled another forkful of food into his mouth

"Why didn't he do the same?" Ashley asked.

"Said something about the asari and getting aid for the colonists," Wrex answered. "He said, 'The goo can wait. I have to make sure those people are takin' care of.'" Another fork enters his mouth and comes out empty. "He went through a lot of hassle to make sure all of those colonists survived: replacing his high explosive grenades for non-lethal smoke bombs, allowing those creepers to close the gap because he didn't want to miss and possibly hit the colonists behind them, taking bullets so he can knock them unconscious when he ran out of grenades. I would have shot them all."

Both Garrus and Williams stared at Wrex in disbelief. He was unfazed and kept on eating.

Finally Ashley responded. "Good thing you weren't in charge then. Now, if you'll excuse me, I probably have some 'goo' to clean off the guns."

The two aliens weren't lying. Whatever they had encountered while they were on the ground left a lot of their viscous insides on their weapons and armor, and it wasn't easy to remove. It was going to take many hours of cleaning for her to get all of the firearms cleaned and ready for the next firefight.

Before Ashley got started on that big project, she decided to check her mail. It had only been a few days since their last comm buoy link, but she hadn't heard from her sisters. She hoped she would have heard something by now.

She brought up her account on the extranet terminal in front of her. She found some junk mail about lowering your debt, a salarian prince that needed your help to get his money away from his murderous clutch and was willing to give you a portion if you gave him your bank account information (_how do people fall for these_, she thought), and an update on Pvt. Bahtia's body which was released to her husband after the tests were completed.

Finally, Williams found a message from her sister, Sarah. It seemed that she had just missed the _Normandy_'s last comm buoy stop by a few hours. Ashley opened it, expecting text to show on her screen. Yet, her sister's face popped up on the screen and her voice sprang from the speakers.

"Hey, Sis!" the video screamed. Ashley hurriedly quieted the terminal so the entire cargo hold didn't hear. "Sorry it took me so long to respond to your last message. School has been kinda hectic, and this is the most free time I've had to really sit down and respond in a while.

"So how is it being off the ground for once? Got your space legs yet? I can't believe, out of all our military family, you are the first one to be deployed on a ship since Grandpa. We are all proud of you, ya know. You should hear mom brag about you being chosen to be on the Alliance's most advance warships. Dad would have been very proud of you too."

Sarah paused for a moment, wiping something from her eye. "Let's see. What is new with me? I graduate in a few months! Can you believe it? Your little sister is getting her college diploma. I know you say that a degree in philosophy is like catching fog in a jar, but I would really like it if you could make it. I'll let you know the exact date next time.

"Chewie called me yesterday. He said that, after graduation and a few more classes in officer training after that, he will be deployed. He doesn't know where he is going, but he's excited about it, way too excited if you asked me. I mean, I'm his girlfriend. He should want to stay with me." She made a frustrated noise. "I guess this is what mom had to go through every time dad left. I just hope he won't like being away too much and decide to leave me behind."

Ashley knew that wasn't going to be the case. Jesus Casillas, Sarah's boyfriend, had asked each of the Williams sisters' and mom's permission to marry Sarah. All of them agreed. He planned on proposing at the graduation ceremony. Ashley had to make sure she was there for the occasion.

"Well, I should let you get back to whatever you do on that ship. Oh! So you said something about a Commander Shepard being your CO? I saw him on the newwwwsssss. He's kinda cute." Sarah winked. "Talk to you later, Big Sis."

Williams shook her head at her sister. She had already explained why there were fraternization regulations in the Alliance. A commanding officer couldn't play favorites. Would a CO send someone who he or she was romantically involved with to sacrifice themselves for the greater good?

Sarah was right, though. Commander Shepard was an… attractive man.

"Hey, Williams. Heard you were looking for me."

Ashley jumped at Shepard's voice behind her. "Jeez, Shepard! You startled me."

He shook his head. "I'm going to need to start wearing bells when I walk around the ship. I keep scaring everyone I try to talk to."

Ashley started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Shepard asked. Her amusement caused him to grin.

"Imagine the great marine, Lt. Commander Shepard, first human Spectre, walking around his own ship, with a bell around his neck." She started to laugh even harder. "Like a cat!" Ash took another break for more laughter. "I'm sorry, sir, but that would be a sight."

His smile grew. "Yes, it would."

Ashley finally calmed down, but was still grinning. "Now, what was it that you said before I started to imagine you as a cat?"

"Garrus and Wrex told me that you were looking for me."

"Not really. I just wondered why you weren't eating like those two were. Now, that you're here though…" She stopped mid-sentence. She noticed that his hair was still wet and his face glistened from a fresh shave. "Did you come directly from the shower down here?"

"Well, I did stop by the mess. That's where I heard about you and came looking for you."

Williams couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Commander, you should go up a deck and get some food before you make your rounds. You've gone through almost an entire day without eating."

"I guess you're right. I am pretty hungry." Shepard tapped his finger on his lips before answering. "One condition: you come with."

She shook her head. "I have too much work to do, sir. Those things you fought left your weapons in terrible shape."

"If you're making me get some grub, you have to come with me. I'll help you square away your duties afterwards. I won't take no for an answer, Chief."

"You aren't going to let this go, are you?"

Shepard smiled. "Sorry. You can't get out if it that easily."

The marine let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine," she said and started to walk toward the elevator.

He had to hurry to catch up with her and matched her quick pace. They entered the elevator, and Shepard pressed the button to get it moving.

As the doors shut, he leaned over and whispered, "So your sister thinks I'm cute."

Ashley's eyes widened before she squeezed them shut and rubbed her temples in a mock headache. "I was hoping you didn't hear that."

"Afraid I did. Older or younger?"

"Younger. The youngest, in fact. Her name is Sarah. We try to stay in touch as much as we can. Since I was transferred to _Normandy_, it has been more difficult. Boats don't have the luxury of being constantly connected to the extranet like groundside stations, but we still talk as much as we can."

"If you want, Chief, I could find a nice planetside post for you," Shepard joked. He knew that the complaint wasn't a true gripe and that she was happy to finally be station off the ground.

"The only way you will be able to get me off this boat is dragging me off. And I will be kicking and screaming while you try… sir," she responded, smiling.

He returned the gesture. "Good to hear."

The doors finally opened, and they made their way to the kitchen. The duo almost ran into Garrus and Wrex were on their way down to the cargo hold.

"Enjoy the food?" the commander asked.

"It was food," Garrus answered.

"That's it? Nothing else? 'Just food'?"

"Well, your dextro-food supply is edible, but it's a little lacking in the flavor department. After a few meals, it all starts to taste the same. A little _pumex_ or _caerulea_ wouldn't hurt." He realized those two words may not had translated. "Ah, those are spices."

"I didn't realize you were such a food connoisseur, Garrus," Ashley said.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "What can I say? I'm a turian of many talents."

Shepard turned toward Wrex. "And what about those of us with levo-proteins in our body?"

The krogan grunted. "It's food, Shepard. It filled up both of my primary stomachs and even a little of my secondary."

He took what appeared to be a threating step toward Shepard and jabbed him with one of his fingers. "I'll tell you what I am going to do though. I'm going down to the cargo hold and measure my hump. If I lost more than an inch off it because of your little mission, then I'm going to eat so much that you won't be able to afford your next refuel." Wrex's intimidating stance was betrayed by his toothy, krogan grin. "I'm getting up there in years, Shepard. My good looks are starting to fade, and I'm not getting any new scars. My hump is the only attractive feature I can control, and I'll be damned if I'm still not gorgeous for the females."

Ashley couldn't help herself. "Your good looks are starting to fade?"

Wrex flashed another toothy grin. "A few hundred years younger and I bet even you would be throwing yourself at me."

She scoffed. "In your dreams, krogan."

He laughed at her response. "We'll see who is in whose dream." He made his way past Shepard and Ashley and into the elevator.

Garrus moved to join him. "You know, I could help you measure your hump if your old age makes it too difficult for you," he said with obvious amusement in his voice.

Wrex bristled. "I don't need your help, turian! I can handle my own hump by myself!" he yelled as they rounded the corner and entered the elevator.

Garrus' subsequent laughter was cut off as the door slid shut and the elevator started to descend. Shepard finished his journey to the kitchen to scrounge up what he could while Williams took a seat at the table.

"You want anything while I'm in here, Chief?" Shepard asked.

"What did we agree on about off-duty conversations?"

He laughed. "Right, right. You going to report me for mistreatment based on gender, Ash?"

She smiled. "Not yet, but you are dangerously close. I mean, you never forget around Kaiden. And no, I'm fine."

"Well, Kaiden wasn't as stringent on regs when I first talked to him either." His head was buried in a cupboard, muffling his voice.

"That's not fair." Her smile faded. "The regs were all I had to make sure my commanding officers treated me fairly. How was I supposed to know that you would look past my last name? I had to get used to it."

"All right, all right. I see your point," he said from the side of his mouth. Shepard emerged from the cupboard with a pouch that contained a military-produced sports drink pouch in his teeth and a few protein bars in his hands which he placed on his already full tray of food. He headed to the table Williams was sitting. "Then you have to give me some leeway to get used to calling you Ash while we are off duty."

"I guess I'll give you that." She looked at his tray. It was overfilled with the leftovers from the past two meals and the protein bars. "A little hungry?" She received a grin.

"A little bit. I did just skip two meals while I was on a hostile mission. Let me tell you, fighting through waves of geth, krogan, and thorian creepers is not easy work."

"Thorian creepers?"

Shepard swallowed a mouthful of food. "Those things that covered our weapons and armor in viscous liquid. The thorian produced these humanoid bodies that attacked us when we got close. Wrex is the one that first called them 'creepers.' It was fitting, so I classified them as such in our armor's VI."

Ashley nodded at the explanation. The mess fell into a comfortable silence as she watched Shepard take bite after bite of his rather large meal. After he was about halfway through, his eyes met hers.

"So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked.

"I wanted to talk to you about getting some shore leave in a few months. I know I haven't given you the correct paperwork yet, but I wanted to see if it was even possible."

He pushed the food that was in his mouth to one cheek which made him look not unlike a chipmunk. "Well, we are on a fairly important mission here, Ash, and I don't know what we will be doing or where we will be by then."

She nodded. "Of course, and I figured it was highly unlikely to be granted. It was a selfish request, but I needed to make sure it was absolutely impossible before I give Sarah the news."

Now both of Shepard's cheeks were full. "Is she the reason you're asking for leave?"

"Mhmm. She graduates from college on Terra Nova in a couple of months, and I would like to be there. She didn't give me an exact date just yet though."

He chewed on his food for a moment as he thought. Finally, he swallowed. "I'll try my best to make sure you get there. Let me know when Sarah gives you an exact date so I make some plans. And remember to file the paperwork. I don't want you miss it on a technicality."

Ashley was stunned. "I… of course, sir," she stammered.

"Now who is forgetting our agreement?"

She chuckled. "Sorry. You took me by surprise, Shepard."

"Why do you say that?" His eyebrow arched suspiciously.

She pointed to herself. "A Williams, remember? Not many CO's would go out of their way to help me make it to my sister's graduation."

Shepard made a dismissive noise, an impressive feat given that his mouth was again half full. "You've earned it. In fact, I may give everyone some shore leave on Terra Nova."

"Thank you. And might I say, you speak very well with food in your mouth," she added, smiling.

The confused look on his face coupled with his full cheeks made him look remarkably like the face a squirrel made when searching frantically for a foreign sound.

"When Garrus and Wrex were in here eating, they couldn't talk and eat without throwing big chunks of food all over the table."

Shepard nodded and swallowed. "It's because they don't have any cheeks," he responded, pulling on his own cheek for good measure.

Now it was Ashley's turn to look confused.

"You never noticed that?"

"Can't say that I have."

"They don't have a boney shelf over their teeth like our cheekbones. That prevents them from having the pouches to store food. If they try to do anything with their mouth other than chewing and swallowing, the food has nowhere to go."

Shepard's answer didn't change the look on Ashley's face. "How do you know that?"

His cheeks turned slightly rosy, and he nervously laughed. "Dinosaur class in the Alliance Academy. The herbivores and omnivores tended to have cheeks to hold and help move the plant matter around the mouth while the carnivores didn't."

"Dinosaur class," she said, still not fully convinced.

"Yes," He let out a sigh. "I needed one more credit to graduate, and there was a dinosaur class that was only half a semester. They have always interested me, so I took it. Weren't we talking about you and your sister? How did it get to this?" he said quickly.

Ashley smiled. "Yes, but this is so much more interesting. Any other hidden interests, Commander?"

Shepard knew she purposefully used his rank. "Nothing that you will learn about now, Chief." He shoved another forkful of food in his mouth. "You and your sister seem pretty close."

She whistled. "That was a good transition. Barely noticed it. To answer your question, yes, Sarah and I are close. Siblings get that way when you move from place to place when your dad gets a new posting. They are the only constants you got."

"I couldn't imagine life like that. It must have been tough, never keeping your friends for very long."

"It wasn't all bad. I got to see many different planets."

"You ever live on a space station?"

She shook her head. "No. Dad always said, 'Space is beautiful, but it's no place to raise a family.' He made sure that there was always solid ground under our feet."

"Sounds like a smart man. Will he be there at the graduation too?"

Williams' head dipped. "No. He died a few years back."

"I'm sorry to hear that. It would have been a privilege to meet him."

"Thank you, Shepard. He would have liked you. 'I will drink / Life to the lees: all times I have enjoyed / Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those / That loved me and alone'."

He seemed to recognized the prose. "I wouldn't peg you as someone who reads poetry."

Ash smiled. "Just because I can drill you between the eyes at two hundred meters doesn't mean I can't be sensitive and stuff." Her smile faded. "Ulysses was always dad's favorite."

Shepard let that last thought hang in the air a minute, allowing Ash to remember her Father. "So with your dad on duty all the time, I bet your mom had a handful. I don't know about your other sisters, but I bet you weren't the most well-behaved child."

"Jerk. I should punch you for that." Her grin betrayed her harsh words. "I like to think that I helped raise them, though I think I might not have been the easiest kid to deal with at time."

"That's an understatement."

This time, she actually did stand up and punch him in the shoulder.

Shepard rubbed his shoulder. "You helped raise your sisters, and they still talk to you? That's not an easy feat. Did you teach a pig to fly as well?"

"It's not so surprising, is it? I mean there were rough times, especially between Sarah and me. We did have a… bonding moment eventually."

Shepard finished his food, walked to the kitchen, and cleaned his tray. "That sounds like a story. Care to share it as we head down to clean the guns?"

Ashley pushed her chair away from the table and stood up. "Sure."

Williams told the story of Sarah and her overeager boyfriend, Mike, which solidified the connection that the two shared. Then, she continued to reveal other stories about her family: Abby's boy crazy years, Lynn's odd antics, and Mother Williams' seemingly constant exasperation. The memories brought a large smile to Ash's face.

Shepard had listened intently to Williams' stories, asking only a few questions. Eventually, Ash realized that it was a fairly one sided conversation. She was about to ask him about his family, but stopped herself. She felt an awkward silence fall between them.

"You were about to ask me about my family, weren't you?" Shepard asked as he placed a final piece into Wrex's assault rifle.

Ashley's silence was all the answer he needed.

"You know, I should really make an announcement to the entire ship. Everyone seems to tip toe around me when it comes to family. It's fine, Ash. If I didn't want to talk about it, I would tell you so."

"Sorry, Skipper. It's just that, here I've been, telling stories about my sisters some of them happening only years ago, when you don't get to… have any…"

"Guilt doesn't suit you," Shepard said with a light smile. "Where did my favorite, unapologetic, no-nonsense marine go?"

"She left as soon as I planted my boot firmly in my mouth."

They were silent for a few minutes as they finished cleaning the last of the weapons. Ashley spoke after she laid Wrex's shotgun back on the table.

"So I'm your favorite marine, huh?"

Shepard laughed. "Out of everything I said, that is what you caught?"

She shrugged. "What can I say? I have selective hearing."

"I'm beginning to suspect that all women do," he mumbled just loud enough for her to hear.

Williams faced him and crossed her arms. "What was that, Commander?"

Shepard smiled mischievously at her, but, before he could speak, Joker's voice crackled in his ear.

"Commander, Dr. Chakwas requests that you get 'your procrastinating hinny' into the med bay. Her words, not mine."

He placed a finger on his ear. "Got it, Joker." He slowly started to backpedal. "Sorry, Ash. Looks like Chakwas needs me in the med bay. We'll have to finish this conversation later."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You bet your ass, we will. Even if women have selective hearing, we never forget an insult."

"'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,' Williams?"

"Damn straight, Skipper."

Shepard quickly retreated to the elevator before he incurred more of the chief's wrath. He headed to the med bay to see what Dr. Chakwas needed him for. As the doors opened, he saw Chakwas spin in her chair and immediately rise.

"Where have you been, Shepard?" she admonished.

Shepard was stunned. "What?"

"You were running around for the better part of a day, fighting God knows what, and didn't think to come to me when you got back? I've already seen and cleared Garrus and Wrex. Why did I have to remind you?"

"I had mission reports to finish and a Council to notify. Then I ate-" he started before he was cut off.

Chakwas looked unimpressed. "So why were you in the armory with the lovely Chief Williams?"

Shepard's eyes slightly widened. "How did you know that? Are you spying on me?"

"That makes no never mind. Now have a seat," she said.

Feeling thoroughly scolded, he did as he was told and sat on one of the medical gurneys.

She searched her cabinet for the stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. Dr. Chakwas had taken a liking to using these old tools when checking the Commander. Shepard wasn't sure if it was because she trusted the analog readings over the digital ones the medical officer received from the omnitool scan or because she loved to torture him by being "more systematic" in her procedures. Regardless of the reasoning behind it, Shepard was sure she would eventually begin using a tongue depressor, a rubber mallet, and an anal thermometer for his exams.

"So, how is Ashley?" she asked as she placed that cold metal circle on his bare chest.

Shepard hissed at the touch. He could have sworn he saw a slight smirk on the doctor's face at the sound. "She's fine," he answered simply. He wasn't about to give her what she wanted so easily. Shepard realized how childish he was being, but he didn't much care. It was Chakwas' fault; she was the one that brought it out of him.

She smiled. "And what did you two talk about?" she added.

Her voice had so much patience that it compelled Shepard into answering truthfully. "Just about her family."

"Oh? How did you get on that topic?" Chakwas asked. After moving the stethoscope, she added "Deep breath."

After drawing in a full breath, he answered, "Her youngest sister is graduating from college soon, so she wanted some time off. It kinda just moved from there."

"Deep breath," she said quickly.

After another lungful of air, he continued, "She started telling me some stories. Some of them were ridiculous, others were funny, and others were just embarrassing. It was nice, seeing that side of her."

"Really?" Chakwas said, hinting at something. "Deep breath."

"No, Doc. The Alliance has strick rules against fraternization, especially between commanders and subordinates. There is no way that is going to happen."

"Please, Shepard. Your brain may follow the rules, but your heart does not. Last one."

"I've had beautiful and intelligent women under my command before." Shepard paused to take a deep breath. "I can control myself."

"Fair enough." Chakwas retrieved the blood pressure cuff and wrapped it around his arm. "So, did you talk about your family?"

He shook his head. "She was about to ask before she remembered that they are no longer around." Shepard sighed. "Sometimes, I wish people didn't know about my past so they don't feel the need to walk on egg shells around me."

"Why don't you start the conversation instead of waiting for others to bring it up?" she asked as she started to pump the cuff.

"I've tried. Always puts a damper on the conversation." He watched the pressure gauge increase with each squeeze of the bulb.

"It couldn't always have been that way. Surely there was someone who didn't react like that."

Shepard thought for a minute as Chakwas slowly released the pressure to get his readings. "Actually, yes. There was someone. Liara didn't shy away from the topic, even after she experienced the raid first hand from my memory."

She was half way done with removing the cuff when she suddenly stopped and stared at the commander. "You melded with her? And shared such a powerful memory with her?" The doctor gave him a knowing grin.

"Yes," Shepard answered cautiously. "Why are you so surprised?"

"No reason, Commander." She finished removing the cuff. "Now take off your shirt. I need to make sure that none of the viscera that Wrex and Garrus had over their armor got into your wound."

"She asked, so I let her. She doesn't get the brief like the other members of the crew did." _Why do I feel the need to defend myself_? Shepard thought as he removed his shirt.

"No need to explain. I completely understand."

Shepard didn't want to give Dr. Chakwas any more satisfaction that he heard in her voice. He felt her slowly peeling off the bandage that covered about a third of his back. The raw skin underneath felt cool to the open air. She gently touched the damaged skin, bringing a stinging sensation.

Suddenly, the door to the lab opened. Liara walked into the med bay, rubbing her eyes like she was just asleep.

"Hello, Dr. T'Soni," Chakwas said.

Liara looked up. "Hello, Dr. Chak- Shepard! What are you doing here?" She began to turn a shade of purple when she noticed him shirtless.

Shepard pointed behind him. "The doctor here tracked me down for a 'check-up.' I think she just likes to torture me."

"If-if it is just a check-up, why is she looking your back? And why have you, uh um, dis-disrobed?" she stuttered.

Chakwas answered. "Because the commander refuses to heed my advice and take a break. He continues to go on missions and never allows this wound on his back heal properly." She smiled. "It's a good thing you came, Doctor. Could you clean this while I prepare his new bandage?"

"I'm sure Liara has better things to do than-" Shepard started.

"You will get out of here faster if she helped. That is what you want, right?" Chakwas chided.

He didn't have any response to that.

"That's what I thought. Dr. T'Soni?"

"Of course, I will help. What do you need me to do?" she answered as she rounded Shepard.

Dr. Chakwas retrieved the supplies and gave her a brief explanation of how to clean the wound. She then left Liara to the work.

The damaged skin was a bright red, a color the asari had never seen on a species before. The injury's hue was much different than Shepard's normal olive colored skin. The wound was worst directly over his right shoulder blade. Liara lightly touched there, but quickly withdrew her fingers when Shepard flinched.

"I am sorry," she said quickly.

"It's not your fault," he replied reassuringly. "It's just tender. Anything that touches it stings. Besides, you're much gentler than that butcher." He said the last word loud enough for Dr. Chakwas to hear.

"You know, Dr. T'Soni; if you want to really clean it out, I have a pumice stone that could do the job."

Liara smiled at Shepard's very visible wince. "No, I think we will be fine. Won't we, Troy?"

"Yes," he muttered.

"What was that?" Chakwas asked.

"We'll be fine," Shepard said reluctantly.

Chakwas went back to her work, and Liara started to gently clean Shepard's wound. His back arched slightly at the sensation of water dripping down his back.

"So how did you get this?" the asari asked.

"Boulder," was the short reply.

"So you rubbed yourself raw on a boulder?"

"Raw?" Chakwas interjected. "It was worn down to the muscle in some places. Quite a feat for a rock."

"Hey," Shepard interjected. "It was a big rock. It did that much damage even through my hard suit. I'm surprised I only got the skinning and not broken bones. Probably would have if it wasn't a glancing blow."

"Anyway, we had request skin to be grown to replace it," the doctor continued. "That is the more healed part of the superior portion of the scapula."

Liara saw what she meant. There was very healthy looking skin that seemed out of place due to the ring of scrapped skin around it. "Why did you not have the entire portion replaced?"

"The commander didn't want it."

Shepard shrugged. "What can I say? I prefer the natural method whenever possible."

She continued her work on his back. "Growing new skin takes days, and the grafting procedure takes a few more for guaranteed bonding. When did this happen?"

"Not too long ago." Shepard was being purposefully vague.

"Two weeks to be exact," Chakwas added.

The realization hit her. "That's when you rescued me! You got skinned by one of the falling boulders? Why did not you tell me? And why is it taking so long to heal?" she asked frantically.

"Whoa, whoa. One question at a time please. Let's prioritize here."

Liara took a deep breath to calm herself. "Fine. Why did not you tell me you were injured?"

"No need," he answered easily. "All it would have done is make you feel guilty. I'm a marine. It's my job to go into dangerous situations. I didn't want you troubling yourself over me doing my job."

She really couldn't argue with that. "Okay. Then why is it still so bad? Should not two weeks be long enough to heal?"

"It should," Chakwas stated as she approached them with the new bandaged, "but he won't let it heal. He's too intent on going on every mission even though there are almost thirty people on this ship capable of the task."

Shepard didn't respond. Liara got the distinct feeling that they had this argument before.

"And since he won't listen to me, I have to do this." She held up the bandage that was much thicker than the previous one. She dressed the wound. "Hopefully the extra padding will allow the skin to heal without being aggravated by your continued activities."

Chakwas addressed Liara. "I ask that you watch him next time he leaves the ship. Keep him from injuring himself further."

"Actually, I have not gone on a mission yet. It is something I wish to talk about with Troy," Liara said. She turned toward the man as he gingerly put his shirt back on. It slightly surprised her that she was disappointed.

"I thought you would rather stay away from missions. With everything that happened on Therum-"

"Like your injury that I am only now finding out about," Liara interrupted, crossing her arms.

"With everything that happened," he continued, "I didn't think you would want to be thrown into the line of fire ever again."

She didn't seem convinced. "Are you sure that is the only reason?"

"Look, Liara; you are a scientist, an archeologist. You're not a soldier like the rest of us. You are of more use to us here, as our prothean expert, than you are out in the field."

"Tali'Zorah is not a soldier either. Why does she to go with you on missions?" Her voice was starting to rise in anger.

Shepard rubbed his temples in agitation. "Because Tali is the closest thing we have to a geth expert, and we meet most of the geth groundside. Not to mention her unique perspective on tech that lets her get around locks in seconds that would have taken me minutes. Plus, when we met, she was able to hold off three mercenaries by herself before my squad could get set up." He was getting a headache.

"So you are saying that Tali is a soldier?"

"I wouldn't go that far, but she has had training. Very good training at what I have seen."

His approval of her was starting to get on her nerves. "I am sick of hearing about how great Tali is."

"You're the one who brought her up," Shepard answered, barely able to restrain himself from blowing up.

"Fine, fine," Liara said, trying to calm down. "Then allow me a chance to prove myself. Take me on your next mission. I am a strong biotic and have some experience with firearms."

Shepard looked at her hard. Finally, he relented. "Go see the requisitions officer about getting you outfitted with armor and talk to Ash about weapons. You're coming with me and Wrex to Noveria. We will be there in about half a day. I expect you to be ready."

"I will, Commander Shepard."

He winced at her use of his rank as he watched her leave the med bay. Liara hasn't done that since she first came aboard. It was a testament to her anger with him right now, and he didn't quite understand where it came from.

He turned toward the doctor. "Do you have any idea what that was all about?"

"You mean you don't know?"

Shepard's dumbfounded look told her that was very much the case. "She wants to feel useful to you."

"But she is useful, indispensable even. Without her knowledge of the protheans, the beacon stuck in my head would mean absolutely nothing."

Chakwas shook her head. "That may be, but she is on a warship. She sees everyone around her risk their life fighting while she is safely tucked away in the lab. How would you feel?"

He had to admit, that was pretty isolating. "But why did that get so heated? I've never seen Liara even remotely as riled up as she was."

"Couple of reasons I imagine, but it mostly boils down to that this was a lover's spat," Chakwas said with a grin.

Shepard recoiled. "What? Were we in the same room? That wasn't-"

"Oh, I assure you, that's exactly what it was. Face it, Commander. You're in a relationship."

Shepard started out of the med bay. "Great," he grumbled. "All of the stress of having a girlfriend with none of the benefits."

He heard the good doctor's laugh as the doors closed behind him.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Shepard waited for the elevator to take him to the cargo bay to make sure that Liara was set with her equipment. Noveria was only an hour away, and he wanted as few delays as possible.

He was still frustrated with her about the entire situation which unnerved him. Shepard was never one to hold on to anger. He learned a long time ago that his commanding style allowed subordinates to speak their piece, and it sometimes ended in arguments. Maintaining that anger never helped the situation.

However, the fight with Liara stuck with him. She had somehow gotten under his skin, and nothing he did blunted the sensation. He had pulled up different schematics that he had been working on and stared at them. An hour passed with nothing productive happening, so Shepard decided to take his frustration on the heavy bag in the cargo hold. After thirty minutes, he left sweaty, tired, and only slightly less flustered. The last people who were able to irritate him so thoroughly were Daily and Amanda, a thought that did nothing to help the matter.

Neither did Dr. Chakwas's comments on the "spat."

The elevator dinged as it reached its destination, and the doors parted. He noticed Liara trying to slide into her new armor as Ash waited to help with any problems. The majority of the asari was still outside of it. She was struggling with the lower portion, trying to get her feet to maneuver through the stiff, narrow calf.

In order to give the most protection without weighing down the wearer or inhibiting their mobility, every ballistic plate other than the breastplate of light armor was directly woven into bodysuit as opposed to being separately attached. Even with the elasticity of the armor, getting the hands and feet through the narrow openings could be difficult, as Liara was currently experiencing.

After Shepard's eyes lingered on her very form fitting under-suit for longer than he intended, he noticed that the armor she was attempting to put on was an old Onyx model produced by Aldrin Labs, the same type every Alliance marine gets in basic. Every ground member on the _Normandy_ had better armor than this. Shepard went to see the requisitions officer to see the reason why she received such an obsolete suit.

"Mathis!" he barked.

The man turned from his table and saluted. "Commander."

He returned the gesture. "At ease. Question for you; why does our newest ground member have such outdated armor?"

"Unfortunately, that was the only one that was currently not being used, sir."

"What happened to everything we found on the missions? Don't we have one or two suits left over from that?"

Commander Shepard had petitioned Captain Anderson and Admiral Hackett for the special right to keep any and all weapons, armors, and mods that he confiscated that he deemed were better than their equipment. He added that he would return any excess to the Alliance. Being a Spectre and only peripherally supported by the chain of command, Admiral Hackett granted his request. That resulted in him and his crew being one of the best armed squads on any Alliance ship.

Mathis fidgeted. "I'm sorry, sir, but that is the best we have. There hasn't been any new light armor since our last drop, and I didn't think she could handle anything heavier."

Shepard didn't respond. Instead, his head tilted down as he contemplated what could be done.

This made Mathis uneasy. "If you want, sir, I could get one of the other marine's suits until we can find a suitable replacement for her."

He waved his hand dismissively. "No, no. No sense in having her jump from armor to armor until we find something better, and you were right in assuming that she would only be comfortable in light." He sighed. "Guess I am going to be spending some money when we get to Noveria. Hope they have a good supplier there."

"Are you kidding? Do you know what's on Noveria?" Mathis asked.

Shepard shook his head. "Can't believe I forgot. Almost every weapons manufacturer worth looking at has a branch on the planet. Then let's just hope they sell local."

He began to turn to help Liara finish her preparations when he was recalled by Mathis.

"Before you go, Commander. You actually reminded me that I was in contact with one of the companies doing some work for the Alliance and Council. They were able to reverse engineer the geth weapons found on Eden Prime and want you to test the upgrades in the field."

"It hasn't even been a month since the attack. How did they do that so quickly?"

Mathis shrugged, but smiled while he did it. "I had the same thought. When I asked, they mumbled something about a certain N7 giving them field notes that solved many of the mysteries. That's probably why they want the same marine to field test it. They say it will be waiting for us in dock nineteen on Noveria. I'll forward the specs I received on them to you."

"All right. I'll be sure to check it out. I should go."

"Of course, Commander."

He turned back toward the two women and saw that Liara had gotten much further in the process as he talked to the requisitions officer. She only needed to attach the breastplate, gloves and boots to be ready.

"I see you are almost ready, Liara," Shepard said with an easy smile. He was surprised at how relaxed both his tone and demeanor were. It seemed that most of his previous fervor melted away with the sight of her.

Her irritation, however, did not.

"Yes," she answered icily. She continued to put on her armor.

Shepard noticed Ash did a double take at Liara. Her tone was in stark contrast to her usual attitude.

"I'm guessing the chief gave you weapons to use."

"Yes," she said as she clicked home the last fastener of her breastplate. Liara wasn't going to make this easy.

Ash spoke up in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the tension. "I outfitted her with a Kassa Razer pistol, which I'm guessing is going to be her main weapon, and an Armax Crossfire assault rifle as a backup."

Both were very good weapons. While they were not the strongest in their arsenal, they had little kick and large heat sinks that will help an inexperience soldier stay accurate and keep the weapons from overheating. "Good. Liara, I want you to customize the weapons with some of the mods we have on hand. Williams will help you."

"Fine."

He couldn't take someone that was so hostile towards him. He needed to try to fix this. "After you're done with that, I would like to talk to you in my cabin."

The faintest nod was her only reply. Shepard left the two women to return to his cabin.

* * *

"What was that?" Ash asked as she handed the asari the gloves.

"What was what?" Liara replied. She made a vain attempt to hide the anger in her voice.

"Cut the bull."

"'Cut the bull'?"

Williams realized she didn't understand the phrase. "Yeah. Cut the crap. Tell me what's really going on."

"I have no idea-" she started.

Ashley cut her off. "Since you've been here, I haven't heard you say one even remotely angry word to anyone. But that," she said as she gestured between Liara and were Shepard was standing, "was so cold that I'm going to have to check for frostbite. You should stick to the truth, Liara. You aren't a very good liar."

The asari sighed. She knew that she was still frustrated from the argument she had with Shepard in the med bay. "My mother, Matriarch Benezia, has a saying: 'Always finish your disputes. Never allow them to fester lest they become your chains instead of your liberation.'"

"My mom says something like that whenever my sisters and I argued for days. 'A long fight means both of you are wrong.'"

Liara smiled at how close the two women were. It seemed like, regardless of species, mothers shared a few intrinsic values they try to instill in their children. "Unfortunately, her lesson seems to have been squandered on her young child. I obviously did not take it to heart."

"No one listens to their parents when they're young," Ash said with a sly smile of her own. "Well, no one except the commander, it looks like. He didn't sound nearly as upset as you did. In fact, he didn't sound upset at all. So why do you have your under-suit in a bunch?"

While she didn't understand the phrase, Liara understood the meaning. She bent over to strap on her boots and reluctantly revealed what happened in the med-bay, obviously skipping the portions about Shepard being shirtless. Even though she was still angry with him, the thought of his bare chest would still make her face heat.

As she heard the story spill from her mouth, she realized how ridiculous she had been. The commander's assessment of her was logically accurate. Liara was not the most experience with firearms and armor. It had taken her almost fifteen minutes to simply put on her new armor, much too long in the event of an emergency. The only combat she had seen was from pirate groups that sought prothean artifacts for a quick sale. They seemed to think an archeology dig site was a soft target yet quickly retreated as soon as they noticed Liara glowing with biotic power. She just didn't want Shepard to see her that way for some reason.

Williams waited patiently until the asari was finished with the story. "You know that he was right when he thought that, don't you?"

"Yes," Liara answered. Her shoulders drooped at the admission. "I see how he came to the conclusions that he did as I was recounting the story."

Ash waited for a moment to see if she would continue. "So, what was that about?" she asked again.

"I am not completely sure. A portion of me believes the feeling of uselessness was a factor. After all, there is not much use for a prothean archeologist on an Alliance warship. "

"You'll find more use here than any other ship. I'm almost positive we would have been sunk without you. I get the feeling that the beacon vision and the cipher thingy aren't going to be the last prothean probing the commander is going to run into. We all have role to play here."

"I suppose," Liara responded noncommittally.

"I get where you're coming from, I do," Ash reassured. "Most of my CO's would blow over me for promotions and better assignments just because of my name. Shepard is the first one that hasn't held me back. He didn't do it to you because he thought you were weak. He did it because to protect you. He said it himself, that he didn't think you would ever want to be getting shot at again after what happened on Therum."

"And he was correct. For a time, I did not care to see a gun or bullets again."

"What changed?"

The asari shrugged. "I am not completely certain of that either. Maybe I was tired of hiding in the _Normandy_'s lab while the rest of you risk your lives. Or I could have been envious as I listened to the battle stories you share at meal times."

"And your reaction to Shepard's explanation of Tali?"

Liara turned a light shade of purple. "That baffles me as well. I do not know why hearing him praise her angered me so."

"Hmm." Ashley motioned for her to follow. "Well, we better get your weapons ready so you can get up to the commander's cabin and see what he wants. I have a couple ideas for your weapons that I want you to decide on."

* * *

"Commander, we have just entered the Pax system. We should arrive at Noveria in forty," Joker said over the intercom.

"Thanks, Joker. Let me know when you make contact," Shepard replied.

"Aye aye, but it may be awhile. They are on the other side of the star so we have to maneuver around it to get past its interference. Joker out."

Shepard laid down the datapad he was studying which contained information on the new weapons that were waiting for him on Noveria. They were modeled after the new geth weaponry that they faced on Eden Prime. While he was there, Shepard had confiscated one of their intact weapons for study.

The armaments caught his attention because they never seemed to overheat. The geth poured an almost constant stream of fire on them without taking time to cool down. Once the first set of geth was dispatched, he noticed that around the soldiers were surrounded by small, metallic cylinders, some still glowing from extreme heat. Shepard picked up one of the intact rifles and a few of the cylinders to investigate later.

It wasn't until the tram that he finally got time to inspect the weaponry again. Shepard quickly realized the reason for their ability to maintain a steady fire. It was due to the geth ejecting the heat storing cartridge as opposed to having a mechanism that dumps the extra heat. It was brilliantly simple and reminiscent of the time of ammo clips and gas-powered weaponry.

Shepard turned over the new weapon to Alliance R&D for further study. It surprised him that they had taken the idea and implemented it into Council arms so quickly. According to the schematics on the datapad, they were able to engineer a prototype by replacing the heat sinks of a standard weapon with the heat clip mechanism which was ready for light field testing. Unfortunately, the engineers and researchers had only been able to apply the new design to an assault rifle and not a sniper rifle or pistol he was more comfortable using.

Just as Shepard was rising to head down to the armory, the door slide open and revealed Liara. She was fully armored and carrying a pistol on her hip and assault rifle on her back. Her face contradicted her battle-ready appearance however. It was meek, sullen, and apprehensive.

"You wished to see me?" she asked.

"Is that our prothean expert? I thought I was looking at an asari commando," Shepard said in a lame attempt to brighten her mood. It bothered him which she looked so dismal.

When she didn't answer, he continued. "Listen. I wanted to talk to you about what happened in the med bay. I didn't mean to offend you with what I said, and I'm sorry if I did. What I don't want is to have you upset at me while we are on Noveria. It can lead to mistakes that can cost us."

"I understand, Comman- Shepard. I wish to apologize to you as well. You were merely looking out for my well-being, but I thought you did not see me as a valuable member of the team. I know this is not the case, and I am sorry for acting the way I did."

Shepard stood and stepped toward Liara. "Don't let it worry you. Nobody is perfect."

A small smile grew on her lips. "Does that include the great Commander Troy Shepard?" she asked.

He chuckled. "Even me." He raised his hands and grasped both of her shoulders. "Never think that you are an insignificant member of this team. Even if you never went on a ground mission, you're still irreplaceable. Don't ever forget that."

Liara was unprepared for Shepard's proximity and touch. An amazing amount of warmth came from his hands even through the armor. She saw the small smile on his face that made her heart pound just a bit harder. Her face turned purple, and her breathing hitched.

Yet, it was those dark brown eyes that truly drew her in. They never wavered, almost stony in their firmness, yet always caring and compassionate. His eyes communicated that the man beyond them could be trusted.

By the goddess, she did trust him.

Her head dropped, no longer able to hold his gaze. "Thank you, Troy," she whispered.

He held her a few moments longer before giving a squeeze and finally letting go. "We only have about forty minutes before we hit the planet, so don't get too comfortable." Shepard smiled. "Though I'm sure you'll quickly find out that being comfortable nearly impossible to do in armor. Come up to the airlock when you're ready."

After they left his cabin, Liara mumbled something about having some last minute preparations to do in the lab and retreated to what was unequivocally her room. Shepard smiled at the urgency in her steps. He knew the reason she was restless; he could hardly deny the pounding in his ears which just started to quiet.

Shepard made his way to personal locker which was located between the mess and sleeping pods. He opened it and was surprised to find an extra harness that held a multitude of tactical pouches. A small, handwritten note was the only thing he found as he checked the contents.

_Thought you could use some extra storage now that you will be carrying heat clips. –Mathis_

The requisitions officer had thought of everything. Shepard decided to don his light armor for this mission. With the extra padding on his shoulder from the bandaged, medium armor would limit his range of motion. He didn't want that, and, since Wrex was a large, organic tank, he wasn't worried about the heavier fire that the light armor couldn't handle.

For weapons, he holstered both his trusty sniper rifle and pistol to their spots on his left shoulder and hip. Both have been improved on since Eden Prime. The sniper hit harder than ever, and the pistol was deadly accurate up to almost eighty meters. He left his assault rifle where it was, leaving an empty space on his right shoulder for the prototype. Finally, Shepard lifted his shotgun and secured it to his lower back.

Normally, he left his shotgun. It was cumbersome, heavy, and required Shepard to be much closer to his target than he liked. Yet, he wanted to be prepared for anything this mission threw at him, especially with an untested soldier by his side. There was fire in Liara's eyes in the med bay which was the decisive reason for letting her come. He just hoped to see it again once the bullets were flying. His shotgun will be ready to dispatch anyone that comes to close if that fire doesn't show.

_What was it Lt. Stevens said? "It's like a condom. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it,"_ he thought.

Stevens was a combat engineer that was placed under Shepard during one of his N7 operations. She was a good engineer and a great leader. One of her privates asked him why he only carried a sniper rifle and pistol. After he finished explaining, the private asked her why she carried a full armament if she only used her pistol. That's when she answered with that little gem.

Shepard smiled at the memory which was one of the few thoroughly unspoiled ones. It didn't hurt that the mission they were sent on was a rousing success. They liberated the colony that was taken captive with no civilian casualties and only a few wounded marines. He heard later that Lt. Stevens was invited to the N school and graduated as an N5 before stopping.

Finally, he grabbed his helmet and pushed a button to collapse it. Once fully retracted, Shepard attached it to the fastener on his thigh. Many marines constantly wore their helmets while they were groundside. He saw the practicality in the thinking, but the commander couldn't stand the restriction on his peripheral vision. He only wore the thing when it was absolutely necessary, a hostile environment for instance. Besides, people seemed to open up to him more when they could see his entire face.

Shepard opened a comm channel to Wrex. "Wrex, get your big krogan hide up to the airlock. We should be docking in less than half an hour."

He grunted. "Noveria. Still don't see why you need me on this planet. I want to face strong enemies in a fight, not talk myself to boredom. If I wanted that, I would have stayed on the Citadel."

"There have been reports of geth there. Maybe you will get lucky, and we'll run into a bunch of them."

"Better not be a waste of my time, Shepard."

"I doubt it will. I can't go anywhere without running into a firefight, remember?" Shepard smiled. "Besides, I need you to intimidate all of these bureaucrats and corporate lackeys we will run into. I don't think Garrus would be able to do the job."

Wrex laughed. "You hear that, turian? You were passed over because you aren't as threatening as me." There was a pause before Wrex spoke again. "Sharpshooting doesn't matter. It can't be terrifying if no one knows you can do it. The only things you can scare are babies with that ugly mug of yours."

Shepard couldn't help but crack a smile. "Twenty minutes, Wrex."

"I'll be there," he said and closed the channel.

The commander headed to the cockpit, stopping along the way to talk to other crewmen on the boat. He was getting the sense that they were worn down. Even though the crew of the _Normandy_ has only been active for only less than two months, they were in desperate need of a break. A lot has happened in that short time frame. Hopefully, Noveria will give Shepard what he needed to finally stop Saren and put an end to this.

He finally reached Joker's chair just as he heard a gruff voice come over the ship's intercom.

"Unknown vessel, this is Noveria ground control. We have a lock on your position with our defense systems. Identify yourself. You have ten seconds to respond before we assume you are hostile and respond accordingly."

"This is the SSV _Normandy_ requesting docking coordinates."

"Your arrival is not listed on our manifest. State your business."

"Council business. We have a Council Spectre onboard," Joker answered.

It took a moment before a response came. "Proceed to these coordinates. Your credentials will be verified upon your arrival. If there are any discrepancies, your vehicle will be impounded and your crew detained. Noveria control out." The connection was cut.

Joker turned toward Shepard. "Well that was a warm welcome. Remind me to come here my next shore leave."

"Don't take it personally, Joker," Shepard said with a smile. "Corporates don't like uninvited guests. That goes triple for those that have unrestricted access to virtually anything like a Spectre does."

"Still, a 'Hello! How has your day been going?' would have been nice." He turned back to his controls. "We are about ten minutes out."

"All right. Can you call Liara and Wrex to airlock for me?"

"We're already here," Wrex's voice said behind him.

Shepard turned to see the krogan and Liara standing behind him. "Good. Quick overview: Noveria is a planet populated by corporate research stations. We are here because there have been some reports of geth interest. They don't appreciate people poking their noses into their business, so expect a not so friendly welcome. Try to be polite and follow my lead. You catch more flies with honey then vinegar. If you didn't hear already, this ship has been flagged, and we will most likely be met with security personnel upon arrival. No overacting. Understood?"

Wrex faintly nodded while Liara answered, "Understood."

"Good. Before we really start our investigation, we need to find Liara some better armor than what she currently has on."

"What is wrong with the suit I am currently wearing?" Liara asked.

"It's too lightly plated, and it has already been proven that the shield generator won't be able to stand up to a stream of geth fire. You need something better before I am comfortable with you into combat."

Wrex grunted. "I don't like the fact that we are bringing the doctor with us. I thought Tali was coming."

"Plans changed, Wrex. Liara wanted to prove that she was ready for groundside missions, so I let her on this one."

"You sure she will be able to handle it?"

Liara huffed. "I am right here, you know. It is very impolite to talk about someone while they are present."

"She'll be fine," Shepard answered smiling. "I'll bet she'll surprise even you, Wrex."

"We'll see."

"You are still being very rude," Liara declared.

Shepard laughed. "My apologies, Dr. T'Soni," he answered with a slight bow. "We will be sure to only talk about you when you are not present."

"You know that is not what I meant," Liara responded. She tried to look upset, but a smile threatened to show on her lips. "Now you are simply twisting my words."

"Would you two just tussle already?" Wrex interrupted. "Don't give me those looks. If all the rumors running around the _Normandy_ wasn't enough, your stench would be."

"Our stench?" Shepard asked as calmly as he could muster. He could still feel his face redden.

"Yeah, your stench." Wrex pointed to his nose while a toothy smile formed on his lips. "I've had enough asaris to know what they smell like when they are heated, and the mess is practically overflowing with the human stink when Liara or Williams comes in. So get it over with already."

The commander didn't know what to say, and a quick glance to Liara revealed that she wasn't any better off.

Fortunately, Joker broke the tension. "Approaching the docking bay. Shore party, be ready to depart."

Shepard took full advantage of the interruption. "You heard the man. Into the airlock."

Liara practically ran into the next room and away from the uncomfortable silence they were just relieved from. Wrex snickered before following.

"Wrex certainly has a way with words, doesn't he, Commander?" Joker called back.

Shepard chuckled. "See you when we get back," he answered as he entered the airlock.

"Maybe you should go roll in some of that snow to get rid of your stink," Joker yelled as the inner doors shut.

The airlock ran through its cycle, and the outer doors slowly slid away. Just outside, there were three armed and armored individuals, two women and a turian, waiting for them.

"My name is Captain Maeko Matsuo, head of security for Port Hanshan," one of the women said. "You and your vessel will be detained until we can process and verify your credentials."

Wrex huffed. "Interesting welcome."

"You aren't welcomed here, krogan," the other woman snapped.

"Sgt. Stirling!" Matsuo barked. She turned her attention back to the uninvited guests. "Please, relinquish your weapons and follow-"

She didn't get the chance to finish the sentence. Shepard's left hand lifted his pistol off his hip, ready to protect himself. He heard the telltale sound of Wrex readying his shotgun. He also caught a blue glow that emanated from Liara's biotics. It was a good sign that she reacted so fast.

The three security officers quickly shoulder their rifles in response.

"No one goes in Hanshan armed. Stand down now!" Matsuo yelled.

"You can pry my gun out of my cold dead hands, human," Wrex growled.

_This is getting out hand_, Shepard thought. _We can't storm the entire port if this goes sideways_. He lowered his pistol, but didn't holster it.

"Let's just calm down. I'm Lieutenant Commander Shepard, Council Spectre. I'm on a classified mission and need to get into the port. Will you let us through?"

"Bullshit!" Stirling yelled. "There are no human Spectres."

Shepard's eyes narrowed at the woman. "Then you are a little behind in the news. I was inducted over two weeks ago."

Matsuo didn't acknowledge the argument. "You have to the count of three to surrender your weapons before we open fire. One! Two! Thr-"

"Weapons down, Captain!" a woman screamed over the PA system. "His identity has been confirmed. Council Spectres are allowed to carry weapons into Port Hanshan."

Matsuo took a moment before finally holstering her rifle. The turian quickly did the same. Stirling took a bit longer to comply. Shepard and his team followed suit.

"Welcome to Noveria, Commander. I hope the rest of your stay is not as eventful," Matsuo said. She then turned and led her team away.

"Is this the way you are always greeted?" Liara asked.

Shepard smiled at her. "Naw. Sometimes we get a very warm welcome."

"Yeah," Wrex chimed in. "You should have been with us on Feros. Nothing like a dodging a grenade or ducking a rocket to warm you up."

"Come on," Shepard said. "Let's go see if we can find some fun to warm up Wrex."

They walked through the docking area until they arrived at customs. When they passed under probes that were scanning the entrance way, alarms started to blare.

"Please ignore the alarms, Commander," a woman behind the counter yelled over the din.

Shepard approached her as she worked to shut off the alarms.

"Sorry about that. They are nothing to worry about; just weapon detectors. Gianna Parasini, administrative assistant to Administer Anoleis, the chief of port. Welcome to Noveria."

"I recognize your voice. Thank you for the help in the docks. If you hadn't intervened, it could have gotten really ugly out there."

"It was my pleasure, Commander. May I ask what brings you to our side of the galaxy?"

"There have been reports of geth activity here," he answered. "Do you know anything about that?"

"Geth? Here?" she replied surprised. "No. There are no geth here."

Shepard thought for a moment. "Has there been anything usual coming through the port recently?"

"Noveria is one of the largest centers of corporate research in the galaxy. Many sealed shipments come in and out of this port on a daily basis. I'm afraid it will be very difficult to find what you are looking for without a more concrete description."

He was beginning to despise Noveria already and he still hadn't made it out of the docking area. "What about people? Anything unusal?"

Parasini mulled it over a minute before having a revelation. "We have had one noteworthy guest recently. An asari matriarch arrived not too long ago."

He looked back at Liara briefly. She was as stiff as a board. "Do you remember her name?" Shepard asked.

"Beretta? No. Be-, Ben-, Benezia! Matriarch Benezia."

Liara exhaled sharply. "Are you sure?" she asked.

Parasini nodded. "She came through with a few crates, sealed of course."

"Where is she now? We need to speak with her," Shepard asked with urgency.

"I'm sorry, Commander, but she left almost as soon as she arrived. She headed to one of the remote research outposts. Peak 15, I believe."

"Then we need to get there. Where can we procure a vehicle?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but all departures from port need a pass and only Administer Anoleis can issue one."

"Even though I'm a Spectre?"

"Unfortunately, yes, even though you are a Spectre."

_Yep, I already loathe Noveria_, Shepard thought. "Then we are going to have a chat with this Anoleis. Can you give me directions to his office and dock nineteen?"

Parasini looked at him suspiciously, but gave him directions to both places.

"Thank you for answering my questions," he said.

"You are quite welcome. You can find me in Anoleis' office if you have anything further you wish to discuss." She bowed slightly and walked away from the counter.

Shepard turned and noticed that Liara was still trying to process the idea that they would more than likely meet her mother.

"You can go back to the ship if you want to, Liara," he calmly said. "You don't have to face her."

Her eyes lost the faraway look they had, and she shook her head. "No. I appreciate the sentiment, but I must confront my mother." She seemed to be surprised by the words that she said and stopped to ponder their implications. After a moment, she continued. "Honestly, I am surprised you that you want me with you."

Shepard smiled easily at her. "I trust you, Liara." He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Don't push yourself too hard. You can always go back if you don't think you can handle it."

She nodded. He gave her shoulder a squeeze before letting go and heading to dock nineteen.

"Why don't you reassure ME like that, Shepard?" Wrex asked, amused.

"Quite frankly because I don't like you much, Wrex. You aren't very pretty to look at."

The krogan laughed causing many of people around them to recoil and avoid the trio. They reached the dock, and Shepard quickly found a crate marked with the Alliance coded message that was on the schematic datapad. He entered the code into the keypad, and the crate opened to reveal an Avenger assault rifle.

Shepard picked up the rifle and inspected it. The implementation of the geth technology was crude, almost forced. Otherwise, it looked like any other assault rifle.

"We came all the way here for that piece of junk?" Wrex said cynically.

"This," Shepard said as he slapped the rifle, "is actually the newest toy from Alliance R&D."

"What is so special about that particular rifle?" Liara asked.

Shepard reached into the box and picked up one of the cylinders inside. "These are heat clips that replace the heat sinks in other weapons. Instead of waiting for an overheating weapon to cool down, you eject the spent clip in the weapon and replace it with a new one. Quicker turn over.

"Got the idea from the geth." He crouched to store the rest of the clips in the tactical pouches of the extra harness. "The Alliance wants to test it to see if they want to implement the design into all weapons. I'm the lucky guinea pig."

He showed them how the new clips work by inserting one into the weapon and quickly looked it over. Shepard noticed that the loading and ejection mechanism was rough which could lead to the rifle jamming when he changed clips. It made a mental note and continued to inspect the gun.

He looked through the scope to check the sights and found that there was a counter in the display. A normal Avenger assault rifle could shoot approximately fifty rounds before overheating. The display read seventy five, a marked improvement.

All that was left to test was the stopping power of the weapon, and that required targets.

"Don't expect me to save you when that crap malfunctions," Wrex said as Shepard holstered the weapon.

"Oh, I'm going to keep you between me and whatever is firing us at all times. All right. Time's a-wasting. Let's see what we can do about getting to Peak 15."

* * *

This was the last room before they circled the level complete and returned to the transit station. They haven't seen any more geth or asari commandos since they were attacked by Alestia and her geth squad while Shepard was trying to make a cure for the poisoned scientist in the med bay. The Han Olar, the traumatized volus scientist, pointed them in this direction. Shepard just hoped it wasn't a wild goose chase.

He waited until Liara and Wrex were in position to storm the room. Wrex pushed himself against the wall on the opposite side of the door. Liara gave a light tap on his shoulder, signaling that she was in position.

Shepard was impressed by Liara's performance so far. She was a decent shot, and her biotics were just as strong as Wrex's and much more varied. She did need some additional training in squad tactics and could use some practice at the gun range, but that could wait.

He opened the door and maneuvered into the room. The space was large. Walkways made square that was raised on one side to meet with the large container at its center. Shepard attempted to make out what was inside, but he wasn't given much time to discern the contents before his attention was drawn to the other presence just up the ramp in front of them.

"You don't know the privilege of being a mother. There is power in creation, to shape a life, turn it toward happiness or despair. Her children were to be ours, raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies," Benezia said. She turned toward them. "I won't be moved by sympathy, no matter who you bring into this confrontation."

"I didn't bring Liara here to try to sway you. I would never use her like that. She came because she wanted to," Shepard answered.

"Interesting. What did you tell them, Liara?"

"What could I say, Mother? That you are insane, crazed? What could I say?!" she cried.

"You could have been a part of this, Saren's grand plan. We could have used what you know. Why must you always rebel against me?" Benezia continued, seemingly oblivious to Liara's response.

Shepard glanced at Liara for a moment to see that her eyes, even though teary, had hardened.

"You are no longer my mother," she accused. "She would never think of using me. I do not know who you are."

Again, there was no reaction from the matriarch as she turned back to Shepard. "Have you ever faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have."

"We don't have to fight," he answered. "Come with me to the Citadel. You can help us stop Saren. He will destroy the entire galaxy if he brings back the Reapers."

Benezia laughed menacingly. "The Reapers are coming, Commander! There is nothing you can do about that."

She began to glow blue and threw her hand forward. Shepard tried to dodge, but the biotic energy caught him. He was held in place by a stasis field, watching asari commandos and geth troops poor in from the other rooms. His kinetic shields began to be peppered with bullets just as the field ended which left the commander scrambling for cover.

He popped out of cover and unloaded his new assault rifle on the first target. The asari went down just before Shepard was forced to take cover again to allow his shields to recover. There were too many targets raining fire, biotics, and rockets on their position.

Wrex and Liara weren't doing much better. Wrex could only squeeze off two shots with his shotgun before he's shields fell dangerously low. Liara, even with her new armor, only had time for a few rounds or a biotic attack. They were simply too exposed to fight back effectively. Shepard searched for a more defensible position.

Just to their right was another platform like the one they were currently on. It had more crates for cover than their current position, and the central container protect the squad from the strongest biotic amongst their foes, Matriarch Benezia. The only downside was that it was currently being occupied by four geth troops.

Of course, for every problem, there was solution, and Shepard's solution was very thorough.

"Wrex!" he yelled over the din. Once the krogan looked at him, Shepard pointed toward the other platform. "Clear it! Liara and I'll cover you!"

He nodded and started to run in the direction the commander pointed. Liara and Shepard fired to send their enemies back into cover. Wrex reached full speed in only a few paces. Each heavy step made the walkway shutter.

One of the geth, sensing the approaching krogan, rolled out to stop the battlemaster. It was too late, and Wrex rammed it with his meaty shoulder. He carried it into a sniper and crushed both against the wall. He threw a biotic laced punch at the closest geth and pumped a shell into the fourth.

With one final blast into the geth he punched, Wrex called back. "Clear!"

Shepard slammed another clip home. "You're next, Liara."

She nodded and took off as he gave her as much cover as he could. He ducked away again when she signaled over the comm that she was safe.

Now came the hard part. The container, while giving Wrex and Liara excellent cover from Benezia, also limited how much cover fire they can give Shepard as he ran to their position. The commandos will have an almost constant firing lane as he made the trip. It was going to tax his shield to their limit.

Shepard prepped a shield boost and a damping tech mine. He tossed the mine at the commandos to disrupt their biotics before taking off. He made it halfway before a warning wailed that the kinetic barrier was about to fail. Shepard hit the shield boost which lasted for an entire second before it fell as well. He dove for cover before bullets could rip into him.

"Bout time you got here, Shepard," Wrex said. "I was getting tired of killing all these geth."

He smiled. "Well, you can take a break now. I'll finish up for you." His bravado didn't seem to match his movements as he was slow to get up and resume the fight.

"Are you okay, Troy?" Liara asked softer.

"I'm fine," he replied. There was a note of pain in his voice. "I'm sick of these geth. Time to end this."

Shepard holstered the assault rifle and reached for his sniper. Shot after shot rang out, and geth and asari fell with almost each shot. After what seemed like hours that was really minutes, the last commando in the room fell from a blast from Wrex's shotgun.

"Clear," the krogan called.

"Clear," Liara said.

"All clear," Shepard respond. "Form up."

Once the squad was back together, they cautiously rounded the container to see what Benezia. Shepard had fired a couple of rounds at her and saw her go down. They approached cautiously to find that she was still lying there.

Shepard reached down to check her vitals when her eyes snapped open. He heard her growl before a stasis field was around him. Behind him, the sound of two bodies falling echoed. Shepard assumed that meant the matriarch neutralized Wrex and Liara with a couple of powerful throws. She stood up and used the field to straighten and lift the commander.

"Do you think you have won, Shepard? You are nothing, but an annoying insect," Benezia spat.

Unfortunately, Shepard's mouth was frozen solid from the field so he wasn't able to reply. He could see her eyes however. Even though they appeared full of malice and spite, there was no spark. They were dull, dead.

"Saren is unstoppable. My mind is full of his white light. The Reapers will… they will…"

Suddenly, Shepard was dropped. He caught himself and looked up to see Benezia bent over, gripping her head in agony. He grabbed his pistol of his hip and leveled it at her.

Benezia straightened. "Commander, you must listen. Saren is still in my mind. I can fight him briefly, but the indoctrination is strong."

Shepard didn't lower his gun. "Indoctrination? Are you being controlled like Shiala?"

"Yes. It is a terror to be trapped in your mind, to beat on the glass as your hands torture and murder. I was merely a tool for Saren, sent here to find the location of the Mu relay. I pulled it from the rachni queen." She gestured to the large rachni in the container. "I was not gentle."

"Why does he want the Mu relay coordinates?"

"Saren believes that it will lead to the Conduit. I wish I could say more, but he did share his council with me."

Shepard finally lowered his weapon. "You can make up it right. Give me the coordinates to the relay."

"Here," Benezia said as she handed him an OSD. "I transferred the information to this disc. You must hurry. I already sent it to Saren. You must stop him." She sounded more and more frantic. "You must stop me. I hear his voice at my ear, fingers on my spine!"

The noise seemed to wake up Liara. "Mother?" she said groggily.

Benezia's face softened and gained strength at the same time when she looked at her daughter. "Liara. I am sorry that we must be parted again. Please, forgive me. I was not strong enough."

The younger asari quickly rose and grabbed her mother. "No. Don't leave me." Tears streamed down her face. "Fight him! You can fight him. You are so strong."

The matriarch cradled Liara's face in her hands. "No, Liara. You are the strong one, always testing your boundaries. I want you to know that I have always been proud of you, and I always will be, Little Wing."

She kissed Liara on the forehead before walking back toward the container. Benezia stopped a few steps away from Shepard. He noticed a blue glow start to surround her. She spun on her heels.

"Now di-"

The matriarch was interrupted by two bullets piercing the asari equivalent of a heart. She slumped, killed instantly. Shepard holstered his still smoking gun.

He couldn't bear to look at Liara, choosing to check to make sure Benezia was gone. She was. Shepard stretched her out to full length and put her hands on her chest. Unable to avoid it any longer, he finally gathered up his courage to turn and look at her daughter.

Liara's face was steeled. She simply looked at Shepard and waited. When he softly shook his head, her only reaction was a tightening of her jawline and a slight nod in recognition. The commander could see the pain in her eyes though. They were moist. He was unsure if they were old or new tears.

Suddenly, a shambling figure caught Shepard's attention. He quickly rose and aimed his pistol over Liara's shoulder. Her eyes widened in surprise as she turned as well and saw an asari commando walking toward them. She was full of bullet holes oozing purple fluid that Shepard knew was asari blood. The commando shuffled to the container before addressing the team.

She spoke in a voice that Shepard could feel in his mind as well as hear with his ears. "This one will serve as our voice."


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The cargo bay doors opened to reveal the snowy tundra that was Noveria. Even though the kinetic barriers kept the pressure and oxygen in the cargo bay from evacuating into the planet's atmosphere, Ashley could still feel the icy chill from the violent winds that were blowing on its surface. The _Normandy_ had left Port Hanshan and landed not far from a place called Peak 15 at the request of the commander. She wondered why Shepard hadn't just returned to the docks like he usually does after a mission.

Her reverie was broken by the look on Wrex's face as he pulled off his helmet. His face was twisted in an odd combination of anger and sorrow. The krogan made his way up the ramp with such heavy steps that Ashley could almost feel them through the floor. He quickly made his way past her and carelessly stored his weapons in his locker.

When Ashley searched for the other two, she was surprised that she hadn't notice Shepard first although an upset krogan was an attention grabber. He was cradling the body of an older asari. She wondered why he would bring this particular one on board, but the answer became apparent as soon as Ash noticed Liara grief stricken. It wasn't difficult to put everything together.

One of the marines in the cargo bay hurried to take the load from the commander. He quickly removed his helmet and Williams overheard Shepard telling the marine to make sure she gets an LC. LC was the shorthand for many phrases: long crate, long case, last cot. But they all meant the same thing, a casket for the fallen.

Liara solemnly walked to her locker, her hand barely holding her helmet, and listlessly placed her weapons inside. Ashley approached her, trying to find something to say. She tried to remember what made her feel better after her dad died. Ash realized that all of the condolences and words that she received did nothing to ease the pain. In truth, there were no words, so she lightly squeezed the asari's shoulder instead.

Liara looked at her with a weak smile. Ash started to help her remove her armor. Neither women said anything. Once she was out of it and had put her regular clothes back on, Shepard joined them.

"Liara, I would like you to wait for me in my cabin," he said softly.

She wearily looked at him. "I am tired, Shepard. Can we wait to meet for a bit? I wish to return to my room."

"It will be quick, I promise you. Please, make yourself your home there in the meantime."

Liara looked at him for a moment before finally relenting and nodded. She briskly walked to the elevator and rode it to deck two. Ashley turned to face the commander.

"Couldn't you give her a moment to herself? She just lost her mother for God's sake."

He smiled weakly at her. "She'll get her alone time. I just want her to sleep on a something better than a cot in a lab. Have you heard back from your sister about her graduation?"

Ashley raised an eyebrow. "It's in a month," she answered suspiciously.

"Damn. I had hoped it was sooner than that. Oh wel-" he started to say. He put his hand to his ear. "Head to the Citadel, Joker. Everyone is going to get some shore leave."

"Sorry," Shepard said as he turned back to the chief. "Forgot to give Joker coordinates. I would like you to do something for me." He walked over to the weapon table and placed his helmet and weapons on it. "Could you clean my pistol, shotgun, and sniper for me? You should wait on the assault rifle. Don't want you to be blamed if something happens to it."

Williams didn't like where this was going. Shepard liked to clean his own weapons. She had only done it once before. "Sure."

He walked back toward her. "Thanks. I know I usually don't ask, but I don't think-"

Shepard's knees buckled, cutting off his words, and he nearly fell. Ashley quickly caught him and supported his weight. She felt a small bump on the lower back portion his suit that was indicative of a quick patch by omnigel.

"Were you shot?" Ash asked, panic starting to fill her voice.

He gave her a crooked smile. "It's just a little hole. Nothing to worry about."

She then noticed that his face was quickly losing its color and beads of sweat were forming on his brow. "I'm getting you to Dr. Chakwas," she said as she started toward the elevator.

"I would protest," Shepard said weakly, "but I think that would be me just being difficult."

Once they were in the elevator, Ash sat him down and started to remove his armor.

"Getting frisky, Chief? What about all those regs you didn't want to break?" Shepard grinned.

She couldn't stop a small smile from forming. "With all due respect, Commander, shut up."

"Heh, I could do that," he said as he closed his eyes.

Ash quickly realized her mistake. "No, no, no. I take that back. Talk to me, Commander. How did you mission on Noveria go? Run into anything weird?"

His eyes looked distant for a moment before he refocused on Ashley and blurted out, "Rachni. Had to fight a whole hoard of them in the hot labs. Damn rifle jammed at the worst time. I had to run back to the elevator past rachni with a broken rifle." He took a labored breath. "Then a canister blew up on me! I hate those damn cells with plasma and whatnot in them."

Ashley was only half listening to his story. She was more focused on removing the armor and getting to his wound. She realized that Shepard was no longer talking. She looked up and saw that his eyes were closed, and his breathing sounded difficult.

"Commander!" she yelled. "You have to wake up, Commander! Shepard!" She lightly tapped his face.

His eyes fluttered open, and he grunted.

"Why do you hate canisters, Shepard?" she asked earnestly. _Why is this elevator so damn slow?_ she thought.

"Hmm?" Shepard answered groggily.

The elevator's doors finally opened, and Williams lifted him slowly to his feet. "Why do you hate canisters so much?" she asked again.

"Damn things… damn things keep blowing up on me," he struggled to say. "It's like they wait for me… wait for me to come by to explode. Boom!" He made an explosion gesture with his free hand.

They rounded the elevator to an empty mess. It was in middle of shift and nowhere near chow time, so Ashley would be getting no help there. "So exploding canisters are out to get you?"

"Exactly," he answered. His voice sounded weaker than ever. "It's how I got this scar. Did… did I ever… about it?"

The med bay doors opened, and Dr. Chakwas spun her chair to see who had entered. Her eyes widened at the sight of the commander.

"Get him onto the table," she said sternly.

Ashley laid him down as gently as she could. She then quickly finished removing his armor.

"All active medical personnel please report to the med bay. I repeat; all active medical personnel to the med bay," Chakwas said into her omnitool. She then turned toward Shepard. "What happened?"

Shepard didn't seem to hear her. "Akuze… tore helmet…"

Chakwas looked to Ashley for any answer she could provide.

"I think he got shot in in his lower back. His suit has a patch there."

"Is there another hole in front?" she asked.

Ashley closely inspected his armor that she had just finished removing. "I don't see one. What does that mean?"

"That means that the bullet could still be inside him. I've see wounds like this. The bullet enters, loses its energy, ricochets off a bone or one of the ceramic plates of the armor back into the body, and causes more internal damage. It causes too much damage for a simple medi-gel application to fix."

Two other medical personnel started to enter the med bay. Dr. Chakwas gave each of them orders. "Carla, get two packs of Shepard's blood. Johnson, surgical tools. Williams, I need you to leave. I'm sorry, but you will only get in the way."

Ashley didn't move. She just stared at everyone running around the small med bay, working furiously to save Shepard's life.

"Chief!" Chakwas said sternly.

It snapped her out of her trance. She looked at the doctor.

"We need to decontaminate the room."

Williams slowly nodded. "Right. Take care of him, Doc." She was caught off guard by how shaky her voice was.

Chakwas nodded and began to set up a decontamination field around the commander as Williams left.

She didn't make it far before her legs started to buckle like the commanders. Ashley quickly took a seat at the mess table to avoid crumpling. The effects of the adrenaline that had been pumping through her body began to subside, and the weight of what just happened descended on her.

Her commander just collapsed in front of her. He came onboard so strong and confident, carrying Liara's mother like nothing was wrong. Minutes later, he was on an operating table, unconscious. Williams was used to seeing fellow marines on stretchers; it was a fact of life in the military. But the speed of Shepard's fall scared her more than she realized.

Ashley sat at the table with her head in her hands for what felt like hours before someone's voice forced her to look up.

"You okay, Ash?"

It was Kaiden. His eyes widened slightly when she moved her hands away from her face.

"Whose blood is that?" he asked.

Williams looked at her hands to see that she had some blood on her palms and fingers. "Shepard's. Didn't realize it was there. Must have come from taking off his armor." She tried to stare at her hands, but her eyes wouldn't focus.

She stayed like that until Kaiden grabbed her arm and spun her in her chair.

"Gunnery Chief Williams!" he said forcefully. He must have been calling her. His eyes were harder than Ash had ever seen before. "You are a marine. Act like one. Now I'm going to ask you again. What happened?"

Her brain seemed to snap back into reality at Alenko's admonishment. She stood at attention. "Commander Shepard came aboard carrying the body of an older asari," she answered with all the professionalism of an Alliance marine. "I assume she is… she was Matriarch Benezia by Liara's mood. Once he handed the body to one of the other marines, he came over and talked to Liara and me as I helped her take off her armor." She stopped for a moment.

"What is it, Chief?"

"I think he knew, LT. He knew that he was hurt. He told Liara to meet him in his cabin so she wouldn't return to the lab, and he told Joker to head to the Citadel for shore leave. He knew that he was going to be out of commission."

"What happened next, Williams?" Kaiden pressed.

"After Liara left, he could no longer stand by himself. I saw how pale he was getting so I thought it was best to take him to the med bay." Ash took a deep breath to steady her nerves before continuing. "He started to lose consciousness in the elevator. I did my best to keep him awake until we arrived to the med bay where Dr. Chakwas took over. She believes that the bullet could have bounced around inside of him. He's in surgery right now."

Kaiden didn't answer right away, taking time to digest the story. "Go clean yourself up. You are now off duty," he stated flatly. It wasn't a request.

"Lieutenant?"

His eyes softened. "You did good, Chief, probably saved the commander's life. But you're in shock. You need some time off."

"I don't think I could just lie in my bunk right now."

Alenko nodded as if he knew exactly what she meant. "What you do during your own time is up to you. Just know that you have no official jobs you are required to complete. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go see Pressly and Joker."

He walked toward the CIC, moving much quicker than usual. That left Williams standing in the mess alone. She knew she had to do something productive just to take her mind off of what just happened.

_There are some guns that need cleaning_, Ash thought. She glanced at her hands, still covered in red. _Maybe after a trip to the can._

* * *

Tali was at the table in the mess, staring at a pouch of her dextro food rations. Even though it was time for the noon meal, she didn't feel like eating. Nothing seemed appetizing while the commander was unconscious in the med bay behind her.

The majority of the _Normandy_ crew had left the ship once they docked at the Citadel hours ago. Without any more leads on Saren, his geth, or the Conduit, Navigator Pressly and Lt. Alenko decided that it was best to follow Shepard's last order and gave everyone three days of leave.

The energy was odd as they left. The crew was excited about getting some time to themselves, but their enthusiasm was soured by the fact that their leader wouldn't be joining them. Even though this was Tali's first experience with the concept of a shore leave (having no shore to call your own made it very hard to have a shore leave), she thought that the time off would be met with more revelry than what she saw.

Tali elected to stay on the _Normandy_ with the small skeleton crew that was going to work on repairs and maintenance. The Citadel's residents general disdain for her people didn't make staying there enjoyable, and the familiar confines of her temporary Alliance home comforted her.

She attached the nutria-pouch to its port and absentmindedly ate. The sound of captain's cabin door opening startled her. For half of a second, Tali thought she would see Commander Shepard emerge, completely healthy and strong. He would give her that light smile that made her feel like she was the only one he was paying attention to.

Tali's hopes were dashed when he saw Liara almost stumble out.

_Of course it couldn't be him_, she thought as she shook her head in dismay. _He is still in the med bay_.

Tali took a closer look at Liara. Her eyes were still full of sleep, but they also held a sense of weariness and sadness. As she got closer, Tali could see that her eyes were puffy and bloodshot.

"Oh," Liara said as she noticed Tali sitting there. "Hello, Tali. Have you seen Shepard? He told me to meet with him in his cabin, but he never appeared. I, err… I must have drifted off as I was waiting."

Tali's head tilted inquisitively. "You mean, you don't know?" she asked, choking back the emotions that threatened to burst forth.

"I do not know what? Has something happened?"

Tali took another mouthful of paste from her food pack. The action was meant as a distraction, not because she was actually hungry. "The commander was hurt on Noveria. Dr. Chakwas had to perform surgery on him."

Liara's face turned frantic for a moment, and her eyes darted to the med bay doors.

"He's fine now," Tali said to stop Liara from rushing to the room. "He's resting. The doctor said he will need a few days, but he will make a full recovery."

Liara's face relaxed, but only slightly. The worry was still evident on her face. "How long has he been indisposed?"

Tali checked the chrono on her omnitool. "I would say almost four hours now. He barely made it on to the ship before he was rushed into surgery. I'm surprised you didn't notice he was hurt." The quarian winced at the accusation in her voice. "I'm sorry. It's not your fault. You had other things on your mind."

Liara's head drooped, and Tali saw tears threaten to fall again. She got up and gave Liara a hug. The young quarian felt the tension in the asari's body at the unexpected gesture, but she soon relaxed and returned the act.

"If you ever need to talk," Tali said as she pulled away, "I'm here. I know what it's like, to lose your mother so early." She felt a lump in throat as she spoke.

Liara gave her a small, sad smile. "Thank you, Tali. I appreciate it. I may have to take you up on that offer."

She smiled back, tilting her head so Liara could tell through the mask. "Come on. We should see if Chakwas will let us wake up that lazy commander."

"Maybe we should let him rest. He has been through a lot. He takes on entirely too much responsibility. Shepard could use the time to recuperate."

Tali waved dismissively. "He'll get plenty of downtime when Chakwas puts him on medical restriction for a week."

"She is going to do that?" Liara asked.

"Oh, she already has. 'No more missions for him until all that's left is a small scar,' were her exact words," Tali answered. "She was very mad at him after the surgery, mumbling something about how he never takes the time to heal."

A true smile flashed across Liara's face. "Yes, I can understand why she would be upset. I suppose it would not hurt to peek in and check on him."

Tali smiled, hooked her arm around Liara's, and headed toward the med bay. The doors opened automatically. Inside, Dr. Chakwas was standing over Shepard, taking his vitals with odd instruments. Or, at least, that's what Tali assumed she was doing. She had never seen anything like them.

"How is he, Karin?" Liara asked.

The doctor pulled the strange device from her ears and turned to face them. "Oh. Hello, Liara, Tali. Commander Shepard will be fine. Fortunately, the bullet didn't hit any major artery in his abdominal, or I doubt he would have made it back to the ship.

"He still waited too long to come back. He lost so much blood that I had to use most of my supply of Shepard's backup."

"But he is out of danger now?" Tali asked worriedly.

Chakwas nodded. "Yes. He may be a fool, but at least he is a stubborn one. It will take much more than one bullet to stop him."

"But it did a good job in slowing me down," a groggy voice said.

Chakwas turned back as Liara and Tali made their way to the other side of Shepard's bed. Tali didn't notice it before, but the commander was only covered from the waist down. Even through the bandages, she could see the well-toned muscles of a soldier. Then she noticed that her suit's environmental controls must be malfunctioning. It was getting hot.

"How are you feeling, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

Shepard smiled as he sat up. "Not too bad. Little thirsty. Sleepy too. Oh, did I mention the fire in my gut? That's there too."

"It would, considering that I had to open it up to repair the damage." Chakwas pushed on his stomach lightly with her fingertips.

Shepard winced. "Ow! Doc, do you have to push so hard? I did just have surgery, ya know!"

She smiled wickedly. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was I being too rough with you, Commander?"

"You're a horrible person. And don't think I don't know that you could have done the same little test with your omnitool. You just like tormenting me."

Chakwas recoiled with a smile. "I would never," she said sarcastically. "I took an oath to do no harm."

Before Shepard could respond, Liara interjected. "It is good to see that you are well, Shepard."

He turned toward her. His eyes saddened. "Liara," he struggled to say. "I'm sorry for everything that happened-"

She waved him off. "That is not important now. We can discuss that at a different time."

Tali noticed that the commander didn't want to let it go, but he did.

"I take it that we are docked on the Citadel by now?" he asked instead.

"Yes," Tali answered. "Most of the crew has left already. There are only a few people left onboard to work on the _Normandy_ why she is docked."

"Good. Why are you three still here, then?"

Dr. Chakwas crossed her arms. "I had to take care of our injured commander. It is a full time job without any breaks or benefits."

Shepard huffed, but didn't rise to her bait. Instead he looked pointedly at Tali.

"I'm much more comfortable here," she answered. "On my last trip to the Citadel, I was shot and almost killed, remember? It's not one of my favorite places."

"Fair enough," Shepard said with a smile. "You should still make an attempt to get off the ship. Maybe get some halfway decent food. I'll even come with you to make sure no one tries to hassle you." He turned toward Liara. "And what's your excuse?"

"I fell asleep in your cabin," she said tentatively. "I only awoke a few minutes ago when Tali explained to me our situation."

"Good. I'm glad you got some rest." He smiled. "I have an idea. Why don't all four of us go get some decent food on the Citadel right now?"

"I don't think so, Commander," Chakwas said. "I want a day to observe you. If there are no complications then you can be up and moving tomorrow, but you won't see any more missions for at least a week."

Shepard shook his head, and his face grew serious. "We can't be out of commission for that long. We need to look for Saren, and that requires going planetside and searching."

"Then someone else will have to be up to the task," she answered calmly. "There are plenty of marines on this vessel. You do not have to go on every mission."

They silently stared at each other in a battle of wills. Finally, Liara settled the matter.

"Troy, she is right," she said as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "I apologize for saying this, but you would be more of a hindrance on missions in your current state. You need to rest and heal."

Shepard wasn't going to give up easy. "I would feel better if I was there at least. I'm a soldier. I don't like sending my crew into danger if I'm not there."

Tali crossed her arms. She didn't like what she was hearing. "Are you saying that you don't trust us, that we can't do complete a mission without you? Have a little faith."

"You know that's not what I meant," Shepard countered as his eyes met hers.

His eyes were still steel. She felt exposed as they seemed to penetrate her visor. Before the _Normandy_, his stare would have stopped Tali from responding. But she has grown while onboard with much of the blame falling squarely on the commander's shoulders.

"I know you want to protect us, but you can't be everywhere," Tali continued. "I bet this injury was caused by you protecting someone on Noveria. You're running yourself ragged, Shepard. I'm sure everyone can agree that we will be able to survive as you recover. You can't always be the hero."

Shepard looked as if he would respond, but her last words seemed to give him pause. His eyes continued to stare at her, but Tali got the sense it wasn't her he was seeing. His hand clutched his dog tags, and the commander fiddled with what appeared to be a red band between the two pieces of metal.

"You're right," he finally consented. He shifted on his bed. "Why is it I can never win an argument against women, especially when there are three of them?"

"Because we are smarter, always," Chakwas answered. "Now, the commander needs his rest. Liara, Tali, if you will?"

They both nodded and started to leave the med bay. Just as they were about to walk out the open doorway, Shepard spoke again.

"Tali, take Liara and go get some decent food on the Presidium. I have a list of some nice places that serve both dextro- and levo-food and a credit chit in my cabin."

"Shepard, I appreciate the thought,-" Liara started.

He ignored her. "That's an order, Tali. Don't take no for an answer," Shepard said with a smile.

Tali smiled. "You can count on me, Commander."

"I appreciate what Troy and you are attempting to do, Tali, but I assure you that I am fine," Liara said after the doors closed behind them.

"You are acting like you have a choice in the matter," she answered. "The commander gave an order. You're still new to the ground team, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You'll learn that Shepard's orders are always followed. Now come on. I'm can't wait to have something besides bland paste."

* * *

Liara felt the vibrations through the ship as the docking clamps release the _Normandy_, dashing any hopes for a longer shore leave. They shouldn't complain though; the scheduled three days had turned to five in an effort to give Shepard as much time to heal as possible. Everyone was back on board in much better spirits than they had left. It helped their commander had been up and walking around only a day after they arrived at the Citadel.

Dr. Chakwas was right. He was a stubborn one. Dr. Chakwas had to search for Liara so she could "talk some sense in that bull-headed man." Why the doctor came for her, she did not know, but Liara was able to convince him to stay on the ship and, for the majority of the time, in his room to rest.

He did leave the ship once. Two days after his surgery, Matriarch Benezia's casket was taken off the _Normandy_ and transferred to another ship that would return Liara's mother to Thessia. She was surprised to find that most of the crew was there, standing at attention as the procession moved off the ship.

At Lt. Alenko's crisp call, the crew members saluted and held that pose until they had moved past everyone. At the end, Shepard stood in what he called his dress blues. His back was straight, and his shoulders were square as if he was ready to bear a heavy burden. He and Tali (she had grown especially close to the young quarian as they shared stories of their mothers with each other) joined her as they left the docking bay.

"I appreciate it, Commander," she remembered whispering to him, "but you did not have to order the crew to send my mother off."

"I didn't," he had quietly said back. "I just told them when it was happening. They decided to attend on their own." The commander gave her a small smile. "You're part of our crew, Liara. It's what we do for each other."

The three walked the rest of the way in silence. No one spoke again until the casket had vanished into the ship.

"Thank you, Shepard, for speaking for my mother in front of the Council."

The commander had insisted that Matriarch Benezia had died helping him in his mission to catch Saren. He had almost demanded that they treat her with some dignity and not as a traitor. The Council grudgingly complied.

"It was the least I could do." He hesitated for a moment. It had shocked Liara. Shepard never hesitated. "I'm sorry that I… that it came to-"

Liara grabbed his arm to stop him. "Stop," she had said, a little harsher then she wished. "You need not apologize. If anything, you saved her, Troy. You freed her from the prison Saren trapped her in. So, do not apologize for doing what needed to be done."

His eyes were still sad and apologetic, but he nodded in understanding. "I should go. Dr. Chakwas wants me back on the _Normandy_ as soon as we were done here. I'll see you two back on the ship."

He had retreated so quickly, Liara wondered if he was truly injured at all.

The next day, Shepard was infuriating. She believed that he was actively avoiding her. The _Normandy _was not a large ship, but it took Liara over an hour to finally find him. When she did catch him, he never looked her in the eye, choosing to study the floor or the wall over her shoulder. She wished he would just look at her.

She missed his eyes. Even though those deep brown orbs reminded her of nothing back home on Thessia, Liara always went back there whenever his eyes met hers. Maybe it wasn't what she saw, but rather what she felt: safety, comfort, warmth… love?

No. She couldn't believe that Shepard held any love for her beyond what he felt for every crew member.

Regardless of idle fantasies, Liara wanted that sense of home back. The _Normandy_ felt cold and sterile without it. So she did something she never thought she would ever have to do: go to Joker for help.

The next time she cornered Shepard in engineering (and that was what it felt like, trapping an animal), Liara began spouting off jokes.

"How do you know a quarian is severely incontinent? You can see bubbles behind the mask," she said, never giving him a chance to respond.

His face was mystified. Obviously, Liara was doing something incorrect, so she tried another.

"How many salarians does it take to paint your room? Twenty: five of them to deceive your neighbor to paint it for them, three of them to design a black ops mission to steal the paint, two to frame the quarians for the theft, and ten to hold a press conference denying any involvement in painting your room." Still nothing. "A man and a giraffe walk into a bar."

She didn't get to finish the last joke. Shepard smiled, then started to laugh, then kept on laughing. Liara smiled, but was very confused. She had not finished. She didn't know what was so funny.

"Who put you up to this?" Shepard asked after his laughter lessened. He was clutching his side.

"No one 'put me up to this.' I did not appreciate you avoiding me. This seemed to be the best way to confront you," she answered.

A few tears were streaming down his face. Was he sad? No. Humans must cry when they laugh. How odd.

"Well, I say it was a resounding success. Where did hear those jokes?"

"I asked Joker for assistance." She grimaced. "Many of his jokes were inappropriate. I believed he found much satisfaction in making me blush."

Shepard smile grew wider. "I bet he did. I think it would be best if you don't go to him for jokes. In fact, it might be better that you don't tell another joke ever. Damn near busted my gut at your delivery."

Liara's eyes widened. "By the goddess, I forgot that you are injured! Did you reopen your wound?"

He laughed again. "It's just a saying, Cielo." He winced. "Although, could you check for me? It does hurt a little."

Liara hurried behind him as he arched his back so she could easily lift his shirt. She noticed red speckles on the bandage. "I am so sorry, Shepard. I caused your wound to bleed again."

"No worries." He smiled ruefully. "It was definitely worth it. Now you get to help me get back to the med bay."

Shepard leaned on her slightly as they headed to the elevator. Once they were in the elevator, Liara's curiosity could no longer be contained.

"Troy, what did you call me?"

"Hm?"

"You address me as something other than my name."

"I did?"

"Yes. I believe you called me 'Cielo.'"

He laughed. "I did, didn't I?"

Liara was not appreciating how evasive the commander was being. "Yes, you did. What does it mean? My translator did not recognize it."

"I'm surprised. It may not be Alliance standard, but it is still a popular language among humans."

"Then perhaps I have just neglected turning that particular language on."

"¡Esta muy bien! Ahora, puedo hablar en español, y no vas a saber lo que estoy diciendo. But to answer your question, it's just a memory from back home that you remind me of." He looked at her. His eyes were back to making her feel like she was home. "It's a good memory. Don't worry about that."

Shepard didn't explain further, and they had made the rest of the quick trip to silence. Dr. Chakwas was very upset that he had opened his stitches and told him that it would be an additional two days before he is field ready now.

Shepard had smiled in Liara's direction. "Worth it."

Now, the _Normandy_ was heading out again. They had no new leads on Saren's whereabouts, but the Alliance had given them some intel about a geth incursion in the Armstrong Cluster. That was their next destination. Hopefully, they will pick up his trail again there.

In the meantime, Liara was adamant about figuring out what Shepard had called her.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Shepard woke with a start. He searched the room for anything that could be a potential threat, but there was nothing except his panicked breathing. He dry heaved in an attempt to settle his roiling stomach, but there was nothing to throw up. Shepard rubbed his eyes to make them focus. He was surprised to find tears.

The nightmares had been exceedingly worse in the last few days. While they had never truly disappeared, Shepard had some reprieve after helping Talitha Jefferson and letting Liara see his memory of Mindoir. His nightmares rarely woke him anymore, and there were quite a few nights completely free of them.

The most impressive feat was the disappearance of the beast. Shepard no longer felt that oppressive presence during the night. Even Liara mentioned that the menace she had encountered during their early meldings had vanished.

However, the night after he sent his out ground team without himself at the helm, everything came back. They weren't limited to his personal demons that had been with him since Mindoir and Akuze. Shepard saw his new crew torn to pieces. Garrus, Kaiden, Tali, Ashley, and even Wrex were exciting new playthings that his damaged psyche could use to punish him.

The beast's favorite new subject to torment him with was Liara bar none. It seemed to use her image as much as it used Daily's, and it was very effective.

This particular nightmare was a new one for Shepard. People he failed to save like Pvt. Garza, Carmine, and Amanda, people he saved like Talitha, and people he called friends like Ash, Garrus, and Tali were all lined up in front of him. They were on their knees, shaking in fear.

Then, a form materialized a few paces behind Cpl. Thomas, the first person in line. As it approached, Shepard noticed that it was humanoid in shape, but its features were vague and undefined. It wasn't until the figure violently pulled back Thomas' head that he realized what he was being shown.

The shape finally focused and became the commander, but it wasn't the way he looked now. The menacing apparition was Shepard as he looked on Akuze, younger and without the scar. Doppelganger Shepard grinned wickedly at the commander, and a knife formed in his hands. In one quick motion, he drew the knife across the marine's throat and threw the body forward. Thomas evaporated as he hit the floor.

Shepard attempted to get up and stop his evil twin before he continued, but he found that he was unable to move. He tried to shout, but his voice died in his throat. He was powerless.

Doppelganger Shepard moved to the next person in line, his eyes never leaving Shepard. When he was behind his next victim, Scott, his appearance shifted to the way he looked when he was sixteen years old. His smirk gave the younger face a demonic expression.

Doppelganger wasted no time dealing with Scott.

He moved on to the next in line, Tali. His form shimmered, and it was Shepard as he looked today. The apparition's face startled him. While the cruel smile never left his lips, the scar the commander received from Akuze stretched it to an unnatural length. A small part of him wondered if that was what he looked like when he smiled outside of this nightmare.

Once he was finished with the innocent quarian, the doppelganger moved to the next and then the next and the next. Each time his form changed to reflect Shepard's age when they died, no, when he failed them.

The victims made no sound, but they struggled fruitlessly, trying to escape. The other Shepard gave just enough time for their eyes to meet the commander's in a silent plea to save them. Then their terror-filled looks slackened as their life left them. Even though he knew it wasn't real, Shepard didn't believe he could stand to see much more.

Then, a revelation hit Shepard. He recognized what the doppelganger was. Behind the façade, he could feel the same presence he did during most of his nightmares. It was that malevolent being that inhabited his guilty subconscious. It was the beast.

Somehow, the beast's smile grew even wider and even more sadistic, as if it was pleased that the slow-witted Shepard finally figured it out. He continued to carry out his torture with a scary amount of glee.

Finally, there were only two people left. Shepard knew he would leave these two for last, and he hated the beast for it. Its form split into two Shepard's, the sixteen year which made its way behind Daily and the current Shepard which stood behind Liara. They held their heads back, exposing their neck.

The commander struggled more fervently, but his bonds never slackened. He tried to yell out and surprised when a weak, "Stop it," left his lips.

Both doppelgangers stared back. "Why?" they said in unison.

Shepard heard two voices speak, one that sound like him now and a higher pitched one from the sixteen year old. However, both shared something dark at their base.

Daily's and Liara's voices barely reached his ears. "Help us," they whispered.

Shepard struggled to move even harder, but it only weakened him. "No," he said weakly. "Don't."

The doppelgangers did not listen. They slid their knifes over the two women's throats. Unlike the others, they took their time performing the act. Shepard could see the pain lance across their faces.

They didn't vanish as they fell to the floor. Instead, they laid there, their lifeless, dull eyes staring at nothing. Shepard wanted to get up and run to them. He wanted to try to stop the bleeding. He wanted to do something. But all his strength left him, and he couldn't even struggle.

"Look closely," a voice said in his ear. "This is what happens to those you care about. You get to survive while they pay the price."

Now Shepard was awake, trying to steady his shaking hands. He needed liquor, very hard liquor, but that was out of the question. He had a mission in a few hours. Coffee would have to suffice.

When he left his cabin, he was greeted with a familiar voice.

"Hey, Shepard," Tali said.

"Tali?" he asked, surprised. "What are you doing up so early? Is the ship still too quiet?"

She waved her hand dismissively, a very human gesture. Seems her time on the _Normandy_ was beginning to affect her.

"Oh, no. I've gotten used to it. Your audio files helped a lot. Thank you."

"No problem." He went to fill a cup with coffee and joined his favorite engineer. "So which one was your favorite?"

"The 'Tropical Birds' and the 'Babbling Brook' sounded quite beautiful, but they only kept me awake. Your custom file actually worked the best. You were right; the sound of the machinery was soothing. Although, I believe that one of those machines' manifold needed replacing."

Shepard laughed. "Leave it to a quarian to diagnosis a problem from an audio file. I'm glad they helped." He took a sip of his coffee. "So if you are sleeping better, then why are you still up? Were you waiting for me? I mean, if we keep meeting like this, the crew might start talking."

He started to grin mischievously, but the image of his doppelganger's wicked smile flashed in his mind. Shepard elected to give only a small smile instead.

Tali smiled. "Or maybe you have the ship VI alert you when I'm out here so you can pretend to be surprised when you come out to see me," she shot back.

Shepard couldn't keep from smiling even more. She was definitely spending too much time around humans, especially the commander. He was rubbing off on her.

"No, I just got off shift," she continued. "I've been missing mine since the lieutenant wanted my expertise against the geth, his words, not mine, in the Armstrong Nebula. So I decided to pick up some extras to give the others a break."

Tali held up a hand when she saw Shepard open his mouth. "I know that I didn't have to. Engineer Adams already gave me that little talk. I just wanted to. Everyone here has treated me, well, like a part of the family. I just wanted to repay the favor."

Shepard couldn't help but remember what the beast said in his dream. _This is what happens to those you care about_. He stifled that thought. "You are and always will be a part of the family, Tali. Don't forget that."

She nodded softly. Then she stared at her hands as they began to move over each other.

Shepard hadn't seen Tali's nervous tick in quite a while. "Is there something you wanted to ask me?" he guessed.

Her eyes met his, and he very evident surprise even through her visor. "How can you always tell?"

He shrugged. "I got good at reading people. I knew you were waiting for me. So what's on your mind?"

"I was not waiting for you," she protested. "I'm just taking advantage of this opportunity."

She hesitated. "Umm… you know that geth data we recovered from the base? Well, I was thinking that, since those geth weren't with Saren, that it would have a lot of good information hidden in it, about the entire geth collective. I wanted to ask if I… I was hoping that you would give me a copy."

"Because it would make an excellent Pilgrimage gift," Shepard ventured a guess.

She nodded.

They had spoken before about Tali's Pilgrimage. Shepard felt honored and proud of her that she would be willing to put her personal quest on hold to help save the galaxy from the Reaper threat. (It also made him wonder why quarians were looked at as vagrants and thieves if all they were truly doing was helping their people.)

When Tali explained that the rite of passage ended when the quarian returned with a gift, Shepard thought that stopping Saren and the Reapers would be a great gift to give to her people.

"True, but the gift should be geared toward the quarian race's need: a ship to be used as a new vessel or spare parts, new technology, or valuable mineral readings," she had explained. "Since I'm an admiral's daughter, I'm expected to bring something even more valuable than normal."

"Would the _Normandy_ do?" Shepard had joked.

She laughed after a brief state of shock. "Yes, it would. But we both know you could neither give it nor would I take it."

Now, she had found something other than the _Normandy_ that would suffice. Still, it didn't sit well with Shepard.

"If I give you the data, you would be forced to leave to go back to your people."

She nodded. "Yes, I would, but I wouldn't leave right away. I'm not going to leave you to face the Reapers by yourself. What kind of family abandons each other in a middle of a crisis?"

Shepard smiled. "Okay. Take a copy."

Tali jumped out of her seat, rounded the table, and pulled Shepard into a hug.

"Thank you!"

He laughed. "Any time." He put a little distance between them. "Now you get some sleep. You had a long night."

Almost on cue, Tali yawned. "You're right. Goodnight, Shepard. Stay safe down there."

After she entered a pod, Shepard drained the rest of his coffee and headed down to the armory to ready his equipment.

* * *

The Mako lit up as Shepard hit the various switches to start the tank. Next to him sat Lt. Alenko in the copilot's chair which was responsible for radar, communications, and repair protocols. Garrus was behind him in the gunner's station. In the transport area of the Mako were three more marines and Liara.

As he waited for Joker's signal to launch, Shepard gave a brief overview of the mission. "Admiral Kahoku sent two squads of marines to Edolus to investigate some suspicious activity a week ago. He hasn't heard from them since. We are going down there to find out what happened.

"I know we are kind of packed in here, but whatever happened down there kept ten marines from contacting Alliance commander. I'm not taking any chances."

Shepard turned back around to finish prepping for their drop. He heard one of the marines ask Liara a question.

"You ever been on a combat drop before?" she asked. It was Cpl. Dietrich, the other medic Shepard requested for the squad.

Liara's responded shakily. "I cannot say I have."

"It's not that bad," another one said. "The inertia dampers keep us from feeling the effects of the free fall… for the most part. It will feel a little rough though. You should really put on your helmet."

"Do not worry. I will be fine," Liara responded.

Shepard was about to tell her that she really should put on her helmet, but Joker interrupted him.

"Drop on my mark. Three… two… one… mark."

Shepard hit the accelerator, and the Mako lurched forward. They cleared the cargo bay and began their decent to the planet. When they were a few hundred meters above the surface, he hit the thrusters to slow down. The Mako touched down, bouncing once then twice, before it came to a halt.

"Everyone all right back there?" Shepard called. He wouldn't normally ask, but he remembered that he nearly lost his lunch during his first drop.

"I am glad you warned me against eating before this mission, Commander," Liara answered. "I would have lost it."

"Oh, you haven't even experienced the worst part yet," Garrus said.

"And what is that?"

"Shepard's driving," Kaiden and Garrus said in unison.

"Oh, ha ha. Everyone is a critic. If everyone is ready to stop ganging up on their commander, we have marines to find."

That proved to be much easier than they had anticipated. Only after five minutes of driving, Kaiden discovered an emergency beacon signal only six kilometers in front of them.

When they cleared a crest, Shepard saw what they were looking for. In the middle of a wide open plain, there was an M29 Grizzly parked next to what appeared to be the beacon.

"Garrus, what do you see?"

He looked through the range finder of the Mako cannon. "The vehicle looks disabled. I think I see bodies around it."

Kaiden turned to the commander. "I don't like this. Something feels wrong."

Shepard nodded, feeling the same thing. "But we have to find out what happened. Be ready for anything."

The Mako crawled cautiously toward the other tank. Shepard began to feel a slight vibration that wasn't there before.

"Kaiden, check the ground-penetrating radar."

His hands moved over the holographic controls. "There's something big approaching us from the northwest. It's moving fast."

Suddenly, the ground a hundred meters in front of them erupted. Once the dirt and debris settled, Shepard saw what happened to Kahoku's marines.

"Thresher maw," Shepard whispered. He was frozen.

"Shepard? What do we do?" Kaiden said. His normally calm, collected tone was growing frantic.

Shepard didn't move. He hadn't seen a maw since Akuze. Even after all that time, he still wasn't ready for another attack.

The thresher maw was ready, however. It started a motion that the commander remembered vividly and frequented his nightmares.

"It's going to spit!" Garrus yelled.

Just as the maw released the ball of acidic goo, Alenko yelled, "Commander!"

That woke him up. He quickly hit the thrusters and the Mako just sailed over the projectile.

"Vakarian, open fire on that thing. Prepare for evasive maneuvers."

The Mako's cannon and machine gun roared to life, applying a steady stream of fire as Shepard swerved around, avoiding the maw's boogers and sharp claws.

After what felt like an eternity, Garrus said, "It's retreating."

"Did we kill it?" one of the other marines asked.

"I doubt it. I could barely put a dent in its thick skin," the turian answered

"Is everyone all right back there?" Shepard asked as he stopped the tank.

"Just peachy," Dietrich answered. "Thanks for asking."

"Kaiden, can you get a bead on its location?"

Alenko shook his head. "I lost it. It went too deep for our radar." He looked hard at his readout again. "Wait. I see something." His eyes widened. "It's right under us!"

Shepard tried to move, but the Mako was too sluggish. The thresher maw slammed into it from underneath and sent it flying through the air. The sudden change in direction was too much for the inertia dampers to overcome, and Shepard could feel the blood leaving his brain and pooling in his legs. They bounced twice before miraculously landing right side up.

"Damage report," Shepard said as he shook his head to get rid of the stars.

"Drive train inoperable. Kinetic shields overloaded. Weapons systems and thrusters still online," Kaiden answered after a moment.

"Garrus, you still with us?"

"Yeah, I'm here." He groaned. "Let's not do that– it's spitting!"

Shepard engaged the thrusters. The Mako flew over the projectile. "Kill that thing, Garrus!"

The turian started to fire again while the commander used the thrusters to dodge the incoming acid. After a couple close calls, the thrusters warned that they about to overheat.

"Stop playing patty cake with that thing, and kill it already, Vakarian!" Shepard yelled over the din.

"It would be a lot easier if you didn't throw off my aim every minute," Garrus said back. "And what the hell is 'patty cake?'"

"Aim for the mouth."

"Oh now he tells me. You know, that little piece of information would have been helpful from the start!"

Shepard didn't respond, choosing to dodge the incoming acid spit instead. Garrus said something that Shepard's translator didn't recognize (but he was pretty sure it was a curse) as the Mako's rapid altitude change threw off his aim again. The thruster gave out, and warnings flashed on Shepard's console.

"Now or never, Vakarian!"

The cannon sounded. Shepard heard the thresher maw wail in pain and then nothing.

After a very tense few seconds of silence, Garrus finally said, "Scoped and dropped."

Shepard's sigh of relief was interrupted by Dietrich.

"Sir, Liara took a bad hit when we went flying. If she were human, I would say she had a concussion."

"Can you do anything for her?" Shepard asked.

"Unfortunately, no. My medic training didn't cover asari biology."

Shepard looked at Kaiden.

He shook his head. "I'm in the same boat as Dietrich."

"Don't worry, Shepard. I got her," Garrus said. "All turians are trained in some field medicine for any species we might be in combat with."

"All right. Get her stable then come get me. The rest of you, fan out and let's try to figure out what happened here."

"I have a hunch it has something to do with the thresher maw," one of the marines said sarcastically.

Shepard wanted to reprimand the soldier, but agreed too much with what he said.

They filed out of the Mako as Garrus started to examine a very dazed Liara. Shepard took a quick glance at the tank to inspect the damage. Fortunately, there didn't appear to be any damage they couldn't fix with the spare parts they had and some omnigel.

Then, he focused his attention on the Grizzly and the carnage surrounding it. Shepard could almost see what had transpired. The squad approached the beacon, more than likely confused by the lack of an emergency situation. When most of them left the tank to get a better handle on the situation, the thresher maw likely attacked, catching them off guard.

The monster must have targeted the Grizzly first. It got a lucky strike on its cannon which was now and melted mess. Without the heavy firepower from it, the rest of squad didn't have much of a chance.

Shepard opened a private channel to Alenko. "Take Tanaka, and get inside that Grizzly. See if there are any survivors."

"Aye, aye, sir, but I don't think there is much hope. It's been too long to hope for anyone to last."

"I know, LT. I just want to make sure. And see if that thing can still move. The Mako doesn't have much room, and I don't want to leave anyone behind."

Alenko tapped Tanaka on the shoulder and motioned him to follow. Then they cautiously entered the Grizzly.

Shepard opened a channel to the other two marines with him. "Dietrich, Pakti, check the marines. I'm going to look at this beacon that lured them here."

He approached the beacon and scanned it with his omnitool. The results confirmed his suspicions.

The top half of the emergency beacon was like any other. It contained a transponder, holographic console, and power supply. The lower half, however, was altered. The base was hollowed out, and a seismic hammer put there. There were also recording devices that transmitted their data to what was likely a nearby research station.

Shepard had seen this set up before. When the Alliance went back to Akuze after the attack, they had found a similar beacon there. They made the assumption that the hammer was responsible for the tremors the marines felt there and what drew the thresher maws in for the attack. Someone had drew them there then and these marines here now.

He stood up quickly, shouldered his sniper rifle, and scanned the mountains using the scope. Pvt. McNeil had seen something just before the attack. Shepard hoped to find it here. Maybe it would give some sort of answer.

He heard the two marines approach as he was searching.

"What are you looking for, Commander?" Pakti asked.

"There is a recording device in the beacon. I'm looking for whatever could be receiving its data." He dropped his weapon. "But I'm not seeing anything."

"You mean someone wanted this to happen? Someone lured them here?" Pakti said, disbelief evident in his voice.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Shepard answered. His eyes still searched for anything out of place. "My squad on Akuze suffered the same fate. I was lucky to get out alive. A beacon like this one led us there too."

He finally stopped his search and taped a few keys on the beacon's holographic keyboard to shut it down.

"Who would do something like this?" Dietrich asked.

"I don't know, but I intend to find out." He noticed Alenko and Tanaka were out of the Grizzly and heading their way so he opened the comm to them as well. "Any survivors out here?"

Dietrich shook her head. "None. They were either dissolved by the acid or had a suit rupture and died from asphyxiation."

"What about inside?" Shepard asked Alenko.

"Same. Some acid ate through the hull. One poor bastard has a wicked slice through his stomach."

"Damn near cut him in half," Tanaka added.

"I'm guessing the maw must have stabbed at the tank with its claws."

Shepard took a moment to let it all sink in. "Is the Grizzly still operational?"

Alenko nodded. "It'll take a little work, but she'll be able to drive."

Pakti looked flustered. "What the hell does that matter? We have dead marines literally all around us, and you're worried about the tank?"

"I don't care about the tank, Private," he answered curtly. "I care about getting these men and women home. It's cramped enough as is in the Mako, unless you are volunteering to stay behind."

Pakti didn't answer.

"All right then. Lieutenant, fix the Grizzly as well as you can. The rest of you, start gathering up the fallen and get them ready to go home."

They nodded and got to work on their tasks. Shepard moved to the Mako to get it ready to ship out. He didn't get far when Garrus' voice broke the silence.

"Hey. T. rex."

Shepard couldn't see the turian's face, but he knew there was a smile there.

"Besides spilling all of my secrets, how is she doing?"

He glanced over his shoulder. "She'll be okay. She has what they call a concussion. It's when the asari brain-"

Shepard held up his hand. "I know what a concussion is. Humans get them too."

"Really? We turians never get them. There must be too much room in your species' skulls."

Shepard swore he could hear another smile.

"Anyway, it's not too bad. She did request your presence. Fair warning though, you should watch out for her biotics. They tend to get a little unstable when asari get head injuries."

"Thanks for letting me know," he said as he patted the turian on the shoulder. "See what you can do about fixing the Mako out here. I'll go inside and see what I can do from there. I don't want to linger here longer than I have to."

Garrus nodded and started his work on the Mako.

Shepard went into the tank and took off his helmet. Liara lazily looked at who had entered, and her face light up at seeing the commander.

"T. rex!" she shouted.

Despite the situation, Shepard couldn't help but chuckle. "I thought that was going to be our little secret."

"It is our secret. I would not tell anyone about your really cute nickname."

"Pretty sure you just told Garrus."

She seemed surprised and tried to stand, forgetting that she was still strapped in her seat. "I did? I am sorry. I did not mean to."

Shepard put a hand on her shoulder to make her sit back down. "It's okay. How are you feeling?"

Liara shook her head and winced at the motion. "My head hurts."

"Because you have a concussion. That's why we wear helmets while we are on drops. You never know when you are going to get thrown around like that."

"But it hurts my crests," she whined.

"All right. When we get back to the ship, I'll talk to Mathis about getting a helmet that isn't uncomfortable."

She smiled. "Thank you, Troy."

Shepard patted her shoulder and went to see what automated repair operations were still working. After a while, Liara broke the silence again.

"Why did you call me 'ceiling'?"

"Hmm?" Shepard answered, caught off guard by her sudden question.

"A week ago, you called me 'Cielo.' I found that it meant ceiling in a different human language. Why did you call me that?"

He turned toward her with a confused look on his face. "What translator were you using? I mean, I guess I can see where 'cielo' means ceiling, but I would use 'techo' instead."

"So then what does it mean?"

Shepard laughed nervously and felt his face heat. "You have to remember I was losing blood at the time. I can't account-"

He stopped as he noticed a blue glow develop around Liara. _Watch out for her biotics_, Garrus had warned.

After a deep breath, he answered her. "It means heaven or sky in Spanish."

"Why did you call me that?" she asked as the biotic glow disappeared.

More blood rushed to his face. "Because your…" Shepard struggled. "I don't know what to call it. Your coloring, I guess? Your coloring and your eyes remind me of the sky on Mindoir, reminds me of my afternoon naps on the hillside."

Liara's biotics flared again. "You mean your naps with Amanda."

"Yes," he answered honestly. "But she hasn't been there for a while now," he quickly added when Liara almost filled the entire Mako with blue light. "Now, it just reminds me of my old home."

Her light dimmed to nothing, and her head drooped. "I am sorry. I do not wish to remind you of that place. You have such painful memories there."

Shepard shook his head. "They are good memories, Cielo. Remind me to show you some time." He turned back to his repairs. "Keep talking, T'soni. If asari concussions are anything like human ones, it helps to keep your addled brain active."

Blue light emanated from behind him again. "I am not scattered brain!"

Shepard sighed. Translators made the worse word substitution choices at times.

* * *

The din of the firefight finally died. Shepard peeked over cover to find that there was no movement. He checked his motion detector and found nothing.

"Clear," he called.

Alenko and Williams answered. "Clear."

"Any sign of the scientists?"

"Nothing yet, Skipper," Ash said.

"Maybe they corralled them and took them deeper into the compound," Kaiden said hopefully.

Shepard nodded. "We can only hope. Form up, and stay alert. There could be more mercs around."

"Let's hope not. Getting hit by that krogan hurt," Ash added.

"Well, you did shoot out his eye. I think he had every right to be angry with you," Alenko said.

"Still think tossing me across the room was an overreaction," she grumbled.

"Focus, marines," Shepard chided as he neared the exit on the opposite end of the room. "I want everything quick and clean. We have a lot of area to cover."

The other two nodded and readied themselves to clear the next room. The door opened, and they poured in. Once he was sure there was no immediate threat, Shepard entered the nearest room hoping to find schematics for the rest of the base.

The size of the seemingly small facility surprised him. There were a half of a dozen small office rooms like the one he was in now, three labs, a common area that Shepard guess was their break room/cafeteria, and a large dormitory. In the deepest part of the base, there was a room that was listed as Dr. Wayne's office that was much larger than any other office onsite.

"Isn't the moon falling?" Alenko asked as he looked at the schematics. "Why invest so much money on a dying planet?"

"The briefing stated that there is a big push to catalogue all of the fauna before the planet is destroyed," Williams suggested. "Maybe they take their job very seriously."

"Or they are trying to hide whatever it is they are doing here," Shepard said. "No sense guessing about it. We have to find those scientists if we want any answers."

The squad went deeper into the compound, making sure to clear every room before they moved on. There was little need. Every room they came across was empty. There were obvious signs of struggle: chairs and desks overturned, datapads strewn around, and even a few bodies of the security detail. But it was clear that not everyone who worked here was accounted for.

Suddenly, his motion detector beeped. Shepard held up a fist to halt the other two. He watched the detector as more and more yellow blips appeared.

After a moment, Ashley asked, "What is it?"

"We got multiple unknowns in the commons area. There seems to be quite a large group of them," Shepard answered.

"Could they be the scientists?" Alenko said.

"Possible, but be ready in case they aren't."

Once they were in position, they opened the door and stormed the room. There were shrieks as they entered with their guns drawn and yelling "Alliance." The unknowns scrambled away from the door and huddled together in fear. Shepard noticed that none of them had any sort of armor or weapons on them. The lieutenant had been right. They found the missing scientists.

Shepard lowered his weapon, and the other two followed suit.

"I am Lieutenant Commander Shepard, Alliance Marines." As he said "marines," the room quieted. "Who is in charge here?"

An older man stood shakily. "I-I think that would be me, Dr. Steiner. I am the lead assistant to Dr. Wayne, the head researcher here."

Shepard motioned for the man to approach. "What happened here?"

Steiner shook his head. "I don't really know. One minute, I'm at my desk working on some reports, and, the next, I hear gunfire and security running around yelling about an attack. Then, after the guns stopped, those mercenaries dragged all of us in here." He paused. "Ummm, what happened to them?"

"We killed a large group of them, but we don't know how many are left," he answered matter-of-factly. "You said Dr. Wayne is head researcher. Where is he?"

"Their leader has him. He came in here demanding for him. I think he took him deeper into the compound. If I had to guess, I would say he took Dr. Wayne to his office."

"How many went with him?"

"I don't think any," Steiner answered. "He said he wanted to be alone, told the rest to guard the entrance."

Shepard nodded. "Lieutenant, stay here and see what you can do for the survivors. Chief, you're with me."

They made their way further into the facility, continuing to clear each room as they went. They didn't want any nasty surprises sneaking up behind them. When the two finally reached Dr. Wayne's office, Shepard could hear a man shouting through the door. The words were muffled, but he could tell that the person yelling was extremely agitated.

The door opened automatically as Shepard and Williams approached. There were two men inside, one fully armored and another scientist. The sudden movement startled the armored man. He drew his pistol, but pointed it at Dr. Wayne instead of Shepard.

"Stay back!" the merc yelled. "I have no grief with you. All I want is this bastard."

"Please, help me," Dr. Wayne pleaded. "He's a madman. Mr. Toombs, you're insane. You need help."

"Shut up. You don't get to-"

Shepard knew that voice. When the scientist said the name, he couldn't help but interrupt. "Corporal Toombs?"

He took a hard look at the commander. "Lieutenant Shepard? Is that you?"

Shepard lowered his weapon. "Yes, though it's lieutenant commander now. How-how are you alive?"

"I got pinned under some prefab debris. These scientists found me and took me. I woke up in a holding cell. They were delighted that I survived. Now they had someone to run tests on.

"See, they were studying the thresher maws. They baited them when they saw us coming. They watched as it ripped our squad apart."

"This man is delusional," Wayne said. "You can't prove any of this."

"He was there, you bastard!" Toombs yelled back. "He knows the truth."

"Toombs, I'm sorry. I didn't see you. If I did, I would have come back for you."

"You can't believe him! I demand a fair trial," the scientist pleaded.

"Shut up!" Toombs told him, angrily. He turned toward Shepard again. "They are part of some organization that runs secret tests like this. They treated me like a lab animal."

"Yeah, I know. They did it again. We found a group of marines that were led into a thresher maw just like we were. Found out it was done by some former Alliance black ops group called Cerberus. A rear admiral lost his life getting us that information."

"See! They are monsters! This man needs to die, Shepard. For you, for me, for our unit, for everyone they hurt! Are you with me?"

Shepard sincerely wished he could be. He would like nothing more than to take this Dr. Wayne, if that was even his real name, and torture him until he knew pain so intimately that he would plead for an end. Then, he would apply just enough medi-gel to keep him alive just so he could continue to feel the agony. Finally, Shepard would take him to a barren planet, and leave him. Let him suffer and succumb to his injuries as he realized that there was no hope for him, that he would die alone.

But the commander could not do all that. He couldn't do any of that. The words that he said next hurt worse than any physical wound he had ever felt.

"No, Toombs. We can't kill him."

The man looked so betrayed. "What? Why not? He killed our entire unit!"

"Believe me, I want him to pay for his crimes. I want him to hurt so much, feel so much pain, that death would be welcomed. But Cerberus won't be destroyed with the death of one scientist. We need to know what he knows. I want to take down Cerberus too, and we need intel to do that. We need him."

Shepard watched a stunningly wide variety of emotions dance across his corporal's face: anger, confusion, malice, determination, hatred, understanding, and finally acceptance. Toombs finally lowered his weapon.

"Chief, secure Dr. Wayne here. We're going to take him to the nearest Alliance outpost."

As Williams followed the order, Toombs turned toward Shepard with his weapon still in his hand.

"They tortured me for years, you know," he said listlessly, "while you got the scary reputation."

"I was lucky."

Toombs laughed mirthlessly. "All the vids say that you're the only survivor." His gun started to rise. "Maybe it should stay that-"

Almost instantly, Shepard reached the desperate man and firmly grasped his gun, keeping it from rising to Toombs' temple. They struggled for a moment before Shepard said, "Don't you dare, Corporal."

"Let me go."

"Can't do that."

He sneered. "Why not? I can't get them out of my head. All the screaming won't stop. Why can't I get some rest?"

"Because, like it or not, your life is a fight now. Every day you're still here, every morning you open your eyes, every damn breath you take is a slap in Cerberus' face. The moment you let them define you, let them make decisions for you, they win. I know you, Toombs. You're too damn stubborn the let them win."

"I'm not that man anymore. I'm not like you."

"Let me tell you a secret."

Toombs stopped struggling, but made no move to lower his weapon.

"I spent the majority of the attack unconscious. I was knocked out by an exploding plasma canister. When I came to, it was all over. I don't deserve my reputation. The Alliance just uses it to drum up more recruits. 'You can be like Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre, if you sign up now.'

"Hell, when I learned that I was going to be put in command of another unit after Akuze, I threw up. The thought terrified me. And there are nights I don't want to sleep because of the ghosts that haunt me, and days when I don't want face the world. Yet, I have to because there are those who can't anymore. I owe them that. We owe them that. We can't give up."

Toombs finally nodded ever so faintly. The commander let go of his arm, and he holstered his weapon. His eyes were still doubtful, but it seemed that Shepard's words got through him enough.

"Come on. We should gather up the other scientists. There might be more than one person from Cerberus here."

* * *

The door opened to the commander's cabin, and he turned to see Chief Williams walk in.

"Do you have a minute, Shepard?"

"Sure. Have a seat."

She sat down on his bed, and they sat in silence for a few moments.

Finally, he spoke. "Are the scientists we picked up all squared away?"

She nodded. "Most are in the mess right now. A few had some injuries that the doctor is treating. Toombs is in the med bay too. I think Chakwas gave him some sedatives to calm him down."

"And Dr. Wayne?"

"Well, since we don't have a brig, we threw him in the Mako. He's restrained of course, and Garrus is making sure the Mako doesn't suddenly blow a hole in the hull."

"Good. Luckily we only have to stay this crowded for a few hours until we rendezvous with the _Jakarta_ and hand them off."

Again silence fell. She shifted uncomfortably on his bed.

Shepard sighed. "Last time you were this quiet, you were about to ask me about my family. I know that I told you to not be so conscientious about that, and I know you wouldn't disobey a direct order. So, what do want to ask me this time, Ash?"

She breathed deep which seemed to steel her nerves. "Did you mean what you said on Ontarom?"

"You will have to be more specific. I said a lot of things down there."

"Don't be an ass, Shepard. You're doing it on purpose. You know I'm not good with this stuff. I meant what you said to your old squad mate, about you not wanting to face the day sometimes, about worrying if you should be in command."

He exhaled heavily. "I really wish you weren't there to hear that. Those are my demons, and I don't need to be burdening anyone else with them. I wouldn't have even shared them with Toombs if I had the choice, but it was the only way to really reach him."

"Well, I heard it. So stop dancing around the question, and just answer it already."

Shepard shifted uneasily in his seat. "Yes, I meant what I said."

"Why?" she asked when he didn't continue.

He stood up, feeling the very urgent need to move. He paced back and forth, thinking that his cabin felt very cramped. "I'm sure you know about Akuze; almost everyone in the Alliance does. What you may not know is that it was a volunteer only mission, and most of volunteers came from my unit. When they found out I signed up, they jumped at the chance to follow me." Shepard took a few more furious steps. "They followed me, right to their deaths. Every single one died that day." He laughed harshly. "I'm a Shepard. I was supposed to get them out alive."

He noticed Ash's quizzical look. He stopped his pacing, straightened, and pitched his voice. "'We're Shepards, Troy. It's our job to protect those we look after.' My dad used to say that to me when I was younger. Some Shepard I turned out to be."

He went back to his aimless pacing. Ash started to say something, but Shepard interrupted.

"Do you know why they were so eager to help? Because they knew that I would jump at the chance to help a colony, especially one that could be in trouble. Because they knew about how I failed on Mindoir."

Ash's question stopped his rant. "What do you mean? How did you fail on Mindoir?"

Shepard fell back into his chair and slumped. He reluctantly told her the story about how his idea ended with the death of his small group. Once he had finished, the commander waited expectantly.

"Do you remember what you said to me after Eden Prime?" she asked. "You told me that it wasn't my fault that my unit was wiped out. You said that I wasn't the one who brought the geth down on us, that I shouldn't blame myself for surviving when the two twelve didn't."

"I know where you going with this, Williams, but you didn't lead your team into an attack. You didn't leave your friends to die."

"Oh!" she said sarcastically. "I didn't realize that you lead the batarians to Mindoir, or called the maws down onto your unit. I guess our situations are completely different. My mistake."

"Ash-" Shepard started.

She interrupted him by standing and poking him hard in the chest. "No. I know you know that it's the same thing. So either you don't believe your own words, which I highly doubt, or you don't want to stop feeling the way you do."

Shepard stood up angrily and looked at the chief square in the eye. "You think I WANT to feel this way? Why the hell would I want nightmares almost every night? Why would I want to constantly see the faces of those that trusted me, but were ultimately betrayed? Why would I want to feel like that?"

She never shied away from him. Instead, she shrugged. "How am I supposed to know? You said it yourself. Those are your demons. Maybe you're not ready to move on. Maybe you feel like if you stop feeling the way you do, you would be failing them again.

"But you have to admit that they are dead, Shepard. And, no matter how much you punish yourself, they aren't coming back."

Shepard sneered. "What are you, a psychologist now? They teach that now in basic? I don't need another one of those in my head, Williams."

"At least I'm not a martyr," she yelled back. "And I learned all this from you, the best CO I've ever had, even if you are bullheaded."

He wanted to continue to be angry with her. He tried really hard to stay furious with her but found that he couldn't. She simply made too much sense.

Shepard collapsed back onto his chair. "You know, I really hate it when people use my own advice on me. Why does everyone listen to me so intently?"

Ashley's fury seemed to evaporate. She smiled at him and sat back down on the bed. "Because you're you." She gently placed her hands on his forearms. "Shepard, somehow you make everyone around you better by just being there. You would put your life on the line for any one of the people on board, and they know that. And, just so you know, they would do the same for you." Her hands moved down his arms and held his hands. "You're an amazing commander. It's about time to start believing it for yourself."

After a moment of enjoying the surprisingly gentle gesture, Shepard broke the silence. "You know, if you keep holding my hands, Chief, I may have to throw you in the brig for fraternization. We both know the regs against that," he said with a smirk.

She laughed. "You really know how to kill a mood, don't you, Shepard?"

"What can I say? I am a man of many talents." He finally let go of her hands, instantly missing the warmth they provided. "I have to get back to these reports, and you have your leave to get ready for. We are heading to Terra Nova as soon as we take care of the scientists."

Williams nodded, and they both stood. She moved to the door. Just before she left, Shepard called to her.

"Ash."

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for the talk."

She smiled back. "Anytime, Skipper."


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Where to now, Commander?" Joker asked as Shepard entered through the airlock. He already started to quickly distance the ship from the station overran with bugs.

"Back to Terra Nova. The chief is probably ripping her hair out by now with all the leave we've given her."

It had been a week and a half since they dropped off Williams. During that span of time, the _Normandy_ crew had saved Chairman Burns from biotic extremists, mastered the VR missions on Pinnacle Station, won an apartment, and eliminated a rachni infestation. Really, it had been a very typical week for Shepard.

"What? No more rachni to kill?" Wrex grumbled as he wiped off some of the residual bug goo from his face. The krogan rushed and smashed many of the rachni against the walls and underfoot. He was quite taken with facing his races old enemy again.

"Sorry, Wrex. That depot we just left seemed to be the source of them." He hunched over one of the displays. "And if I'm reading these scans right, it was just blown into space dust."

"After we pick up Ashley, what is next?" Garrus asked. He was no worse for wear except for the remains of the smaller kamikaze bugs around the turian equivalent of ankles.

Shepard started to move to the lower decks so he could remove and clean his armor and guns. He had a new appreciation for Ash. Cleaning the crew's armaments was quite a large job.

"Quite honestly, I don't know," he answered. "We haven't heard anything about Saren or his movements, the Council hasn't been able to give us any new leads, and we've ran out of any other assignments. We'll more than likely head back to the Citadel and see what we can discover."

"C'mon, Shepard!" Wrex interjected. "We don't need the Council or Saren to find a good fight. There are plenty of scraps out in the Terminus that we can get into."

"You telling me any little fight is enough for you, Wrex? I thought you followed me because you knew I would be fighting the best."

Wrex huffed. "Any fight is better than waiting around. Why go back to Citadel space when we could be searching for Saren out here?"

"We would be blind. I don't like being sidelined just as much as you, but we need intel. Don't worry. I'm sure we'll find something you can shoot at soon."

"We better," the krogan mumbled.

"Garrus, can you reach out to your friends at C-Sec and see if they have any new information on Saren?"

He nodded. "Hopefully the Council and executor wouldn't hold anything back, but I'll check."

Shepard stopped in front of the elevator. "Thanks. Get cleaned up you two. We reach Terra Nova in a few hours. Depending on the time planetside, we could get some shore leave."

* * *

Shepard felt the pull on his stomach as the _Normandy_ decelerated from FTL. He was about to get up and head to the bridge when Joker's voice sprang from the comm.

"Commander, we have a problem."

"What is it, Joker? Don't tell me my pilot overshot the system."

Joker scoffed. "What kind of rookie do you think I am? No, we are receiving a distress signal from Terra Nova."

_That is a problem_, Shepard thought. "Let's hear it."

"This is a distress call to any available ships in the vicinity of Terra Nova," an unknown man's voice said. "Our scanners have indicated that Asteroid X57 is on a collision course with the planet. We have lost contact with the mining company that was in charge of relocating it. Its position and projected path are uploaded with this signal. We request urgent response."

"It on a loop," Joker added after the man was cut off.

"Are there any other ships nearby?"

"None closer than us."

"Get us to that asteroid. Try to figure out what the hell is going on down there. I'll be up shortly."

"Aye, aye."

Shepard stepped out of his cabin and found Alenko standing at his workstation.

"Lieutenant."

Kaiden straightened and saluted. "Yes, sir?"

"Pick three marines for an impromptu mission. Bring at least one medic." Shepard paused for a moment. "Do you think they would be okay with Tali in their team?"

"They're marines, sir. If those are your orders, they will follow them."

"Good. Get them, Tali, Wrex, and yourself ready for a drop ASAP."

Kaiden saluted again. "Yes, sir," he said and was off to find his marines.

Shepard briskly walked to the cockpit, trying not to appear rushed and cause a panic. Once there, he grabbed the back of Joker's chair and searched his readouts.

"What do you got?"

"Let's just say that asteroid is an understatement." He tapped a few keys and brought up a picture of the asteroid. "The thing is about the size of a small moon. Scans show that there are plasma torches on the surface. They were probably placed there to move it to geosync with Terra Nova. Right now though, they are all burning, accelerating the thing right into the planet's orbit. If they collide, we are talking about being left with about half a planet, Commander."

"How long will it take for us to get there?"

Joker brought up their flight path. "I would say another thirty minutes." He paused. "Commander, the VI is telling me that collision will happen in four and a half hours and will be unavoidable in two."

"Then we better get down there and stop it before that. I'll be in the cargo hold if you get any other info."

"Yes, sir," Joker said, worry evident on his voice.

The commander lightly placed a hand on his shoulder. "We'll stop it, Joker. When is the last time we failed a mission?"

"Umm, Eden Prime?"

Shepard winced. "I'd say that was a partial success."

"Yeah, well partial success also means partial failure. And this is starting to feel a lot like that mission."

"Which is why I have two teams ready to go. I'm not taking any chances. After we drop, try to signal any ship that could help with an evacuation, just in case."

Joker merely nodded in response.

Shepard left the pensive pilot to get ready. No matter how he tried, he couldn't shake what Joker had said. The similarities were there: human colony under attack, check; unknown cause, check; milk run becoming rescue mission, check; pulling Ash's butt out of the fire, double check. He just hoped he didn't end up on a gurney this time, although Shepard was more than willing to be if it led to a safe colony below.

The elevator opened into the cargo bay. Seven fully armed and armored people were standing by the Mako, waiting for the commander. Shepard quickly donned his armor, slid his weapons home, and joined them.

"All right, people; listen up. We don't have a lot of info on the situation, but I will go over what we do know. We have received a distress signal from Terra Nova requesting assistance. They were in the process of moving a large asteroid closer to the planet. Something has happened and it is now on a collision course with the planet. They haven't been able to raise the team that was in charge of the relocation." Shepard paused to let the very evident shock wear off.

"Isn't the gunnery chief on Terra Nova, sir?" Cpl. Hicks asked.

"Yes, she is. All the more reason to stop this thing. We found that there are three plasma torches propelling this thing. We need to shut them down. There will be two teams. Wrex and Alenko are with me. Hicks, Tanaka, Dietrich, and Tali are the other team. Lieutnant, who will be leading?"

"Hicks, you're in charge," Kaiden responded.

The corporal nodded.

"You certified to operate the Mako?" Shepard asked the marine.

"It's been awhile."

"It's like riding a bike, Hicks. Here's the plan then. After you drop us off at the first plasma torch, you four take the Mako to the second. Once we are both done, you come back and pick us up, and we will all head to the third. The VI says that we have less than two hours before collision becomes unavoidable, so let's make sure we finish before that. Understood?"

Everyone nodded.

"All right. Everyone in the Mako. We should be dropping soon."

As they filed in, Shepard spoke into his omnitool. "Joker, can you send a tightbeam to the longest active terminal, letting them know we are coming? Hopefully, someone is still manning it."

"Will do, Commander. Approaching drop zone in sixty."

He entered the Mako to see that everyone was already in position. "Everyone ready? We drop-"

Joker's voice interrupted him. "Commander, we have a transmission from the asteroid."

"Patch it through," Shepard said. He opened the channel to the entire ground team so all of them could hear.

A woman's voice broke through some static. "Hello? Hello? I heard your transmission. Can you hear me?"

"Yes. What is your status?" Shepard answered.

"They haven't found me yet, but I can't talk long."

"Who hasn't found you yet?"

The Mako roared out of the cargo bay when Joker gave the signal. During their free fall, another transmission came through.

"Please. Shut down the fusion torches, or we are all dead."

"Joker, what's wrong with the signal?"

"I don't know. It appears that her terminal isn't receiving any response. Maybe if you find an access point on the same network, you could link in directly."

Shepard felt the thrusters ignite and then the distinct thud of a landing.

"God, I hope you're hearing this." The transmission ended.

"Joker, can you pinpoint where that came from?" Shepard asked.

"I'll try, but it won't be easy. I think she powered her terminal down."

"Keep at it." He then turned his attention to Hicks. "Let's get going, Corporal. We have a time limit here."

The Mako roared off toward the first torch's control center. It was surrounded by Alliance turrets, but Wrex made quick work of them with the tank's gun. Once they were handled, Hicks brought the vehicle to a stop. Shepard, Wrex, and Kaiden disembarked and watched it drive toward the next objective.

Kaiden went to work on the door. As he hacked through, Shepard looked up at the large engine burning at full power. It was odd, seeing this massive plume of flame and hearing none of the sounds associated with a burn. He could feel the asteroid shake under him, but all he could hear in the vacuum was his own breathing.

A crackling over the radio broke his reverie. "I see that you made it to the first torch. I don't know who you are, but I'm- Damn it! Got to go."

As if on cue, the lieutenant finished his work on the door.

Before they entered, Shepard called to the other team.

"We ran into a problem. Tali says that the second fusion torch is surrounded by mines. We don't know what kind. She did find some other structures around here though. She thinks that they might be some kind of relay station. It might give us a better view of the land."

_This mission was already getting off to a rocky start_, Shepard thought. "All right. Head there and get what information you can. Then, come back and get us. Don't forget the second part. I don't want to be huffing it to the next torch."

"Aye, aye, sir." Shepard could hear the smile on Hicks' face.

They stormed the control compound to find an empty antechamber that acted like an airlock. Once the air pressure equalized, the next door slid open. Shepard saw ten or so people inside, their four eyes narrowing at the sight of the three newcomers.

The commander sneered. "Batarians."

Some grudges never truly disappear no matter how long it had been.

One started to yell a command that didn't translate. "Harak. Che-"

The batarian was interrupted by a gunshot that resulted in a new hole where one of his eyes were. Shepard aimed at the next man as he crumpled to the ground.

His short command, however, seemed to have been enough. Three large varren started bounding their way to the invaders. Shepard tried to down them, but they moved too fast and took a lot of punishment before falling.

As one of the beasts jumped to tackle and probably impale Shepard with its massive teeth, Wrex's fist caught the varren squarely in its ribs, altering its trajectory. There was a wet, cracking sound, and the animal went limp. He unloaded his shotgun into the next one which caused it to slide to a stop at the krogan's feet. The last one lunged at Wrex and tried to sink its teeth into his crest. Instead, they cracked against his hard forehead. Wrex laughed as he threw the varren to the ground and crushed it under his massive foot. It appeared that Wrex had some experience battling the animals.

"These pups wouldn't last a minute in the pits on Tuchanka," the krogan roared as he turned his attention toward the batarians. "Did you pyjaks get them from the salarians?"

No answer was forthcoming, however, for all of the sentient beings beside Shepard, Kaiden, and Wrex were dead within minutes. They searched the rest of the compound and found the control panel for the torch. Once Shepard disabled it, the terminal sprang to life with an incoming transmission. He quickly linked his omnitool with the network so whoever was on the other end could hear him.

"I'm reading that the torch is offline," the voice whispered. "Was that you? Can you hear me?"

"Yes, I am Commander Shepard, System Alliance. Who are you? What's going on?"

A blast of static exploded into his ear implant, causing Shepard to wince.

"Sorry!" the voice exclaimed. She quickly quieted. "I'm sorry. You weren't coming in very clear. Now we should be okay."

He tried again. "I'm Commander Shepard. I'm here to help. Who are you, and what is going on here?"

"Oh, thank God. My name is Kate Bowman. I'm an engineer that came here with a team assigned to move the asteroid into orbit around Terra Nova. We were attacked yesterday by batarian extremists. I've been hiding in one of the bunkers since the attack started."

"What do they want? Why attack this asteroid?"

"I don't know. What I do know is that we have to stop this asteroid before millions die on Terra Nova. I'll contact you when I learn-"

Shepard heard metallic sounds in the background.

"I have to go," Kate said and quickly closed the channel.

"Damn it," Shepard muttered.

They still didn't have the answers they wanted, and what answers they did have only raised more questions.

He turned and walked toward the exit. "Come on. We have an asteroid to stop."

* * *

With the push of one final button, the last torch died, sparing Terra Nova from a horrible fate. The asteroid would miss the planet and, hopefully, be brought under control.

However, the team knew that they were not done yet. In the last control center, Kate had explained that the batarians had taken prisoners and were holding them in the main complex just a few hundred kilometers from the third torch. She had started to say something about getting around the security measures when she was interrupted.

There were a lot of male voices yelling at her to back away. Then a new voice broke through and demanded that she tell him who was turning off the torches. In an inspiring act of bravery, Kate stayed silent. A gunshot ranged, and the terminal went dead.

Shepard didn't know if Kate was still alive, but he wasn't about to leave without finding her.

"Hicks, come in," he called into his comm.

"Hicks here."

"Did you find the missing engineers?"

He paused before he answered. "We found all three. None of them survived."

Shepard swore under his breath. "Come on back. We are going to head to the main compound and finish this."

"Aye, aye, sir."

The squad headed back to the entrance, but, before they made it, they ran into three batarian soldiers and one varren. The aliens did nothing when they noticed the uninvited visitors.

Shepard didn't follow their example. He quickly lifted his pistol and carefully approached.

"This doesn't have to end in bloodshed," one of the batarians said. It seemed he was the leader.

The group closed the distance between them until only a few meters separated the two.

"That's far enough. We can do this the hard way, or we can end this peacefully. We don't want a fight."

The commander didn't lower his weapon, but tilted his head to the right. "Then, why are you here?"

The leader bristled, his eyes narrowed, and his mouth sneered. Shepard spent a lot of time in the academy studying batarian society. He knew a simple, slight tilt of the head was a sign of either respect or superiority depending on the direction. The commander's gesture, which meant the latter, was extremely insulting, especially from a two eye.

"I'm here because I want to get off this rock alive," the batarian growled. "This wasn't part of the plan. I didn't sign up to hijack some damn rock. Balak is going to get us all killed."

"Smartest thing I've ever heard from a batarian," Wrex said.

"Millions of people will die if this Balak's plan happens," Shepard responded.

The batarian shook his head. "Don't you think I know that? But if I go against him, he'll skin me alive just outta spite. Crazy bastard. The whole mission has gone to hell and now I'm going to pay for it. Supposed to be a simple slave ru-"

The next sound that came out of the batarian's mouth was a choked cough. Shepard had him pinned against a crate with his forearm at his throat so quickly that everyone in the room was stunned. In two swift motions, the commander removed the batarian's pistol and shotgun from their holsters.

Wrex and Alenko quickly overcame their astonishment and subdued the other two batarians. The varren attempted to attack, but Wrex kicked it with his large foot. It skidded away, whimpering.

"Stay," the krogan said gruffly.

The varren complied.

Shepard, however, was oblivious to all this. Something had snapped inside him. He pushed his arm against the slaver's neck, eliciting more gaging sounds. His eyes focused their glare squarely on the ridge of flesh between the batarian's two sets of eyes, the batarian's center of vision.

"'A simple slave run'?" he snarled. The hatred in his own voice surprised him, but he quickly pushed that shock aside. "Do you know how many families have been ripped apart by 'a simple slave run'? Do you know how many people have died because of 'a simple slave run'?"

Shepard must have loosened the pressure on the alien's neck. A soft "don't" squeaked out. He fixed that problem.

"HOW MANY LIVES WERE DESTROYED BY 'A SIMPLE SLAVE RUN'?" the commander yelled.

The batarian was no longer looking at him. Instead, his eyes began to roll back in their sockets. He was passing out.

Shepard had no intention of letting him miss what was going to happen next. He let go of the batarian's throat.

The alien collapsed, coughing and wheezing and hold his neck. When his vision stopped swimming, he saw that the commander was coming back with his pistol that he must have drop when Shepard pinned him against the container.

Shepard roughly grabbed the batarian's neck and stood him back up. He shoved his pistol in the lower right quadrant of the alien's abdominal.

"Your customs aren't the only thing I study," Shepard told him. He pushed the gun into the batarian's stomach. "Do you know what organ is right here? It's something like the human liver. It works to take toxins out of your blood. Now, if it was pierced by something, a bullet for instance, all those toxins would be released. Not only that, but you will bleed. A lot. Too much to patch with medi-gel. You will die slowly and in a lot of pain. So tell me, why should I spare you?"

"I can give you Balak," he quickly answered. "I have a card key to the central shelter. That's the only way you can get in."

"Not much is stopping me from just taking it off your corpse."

A myriad of emotions danced over the batarian's face, ending with grim acceptance.

"Do it. If it's not you right now, it will be Balak later. Might as well get it over with."

This was the second time in two weeks that Shepard fought with himself over shooting a man. He wanted to make this batarian pay for all the pain he put people through. He wanted to show him a glimpse. The commander knew Wrex wouldn't have a problem with it, and Kaiden would get over it soon enough.

When the batarian had conceded that he had nothing more to offer, Shepard almost pulled the trigger. The comment about Balak stopped him. All of his anger melted, and he heard his voice from one of his conversations with Garrus.

"The rules are there for a reason," he had said. "'Whoever fights monsters should see to it that, in the process, he does not become a monster himself. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.'"

Shepard kept a mask of anger on his face. "Name."

"What?" the batarian asked. The surprise was evident on his face.

"Your name. I want your name."

"Charn. Charn Kal'shek."

"Okay, Charn Kal'shek, here is what you are going to do. You are going to give me that card key. Then, you are going to run, not walk, out of here. Get in your ship and leave. And if I hear even a rumor that you're slaving again, I will find you, and I will end you. I don't care where you are. You could be on Khar'shan in the Hegemony HQ, and I will still hunt you down. And I'll be sure to rip the eyes from your skull so you will never be able to find your way to the next life. Do I make myself clear?"

"I get it, human," Charn spat back.

"Perfect."

Shepard released him. Charn quickly handed over the key card and pushed his men out the door and away from the squad. Once they were gone, Wrex spoke.

"Ya know, I'm kinda disappointed that I didn't get to see a batarian bleeding to death."

_I am too_, Shepard thought. "I'm not a monster, Wrex. Some people deserve a second chance, especially those that don't know any better."

"Sure," Kaiden said, "but I don't remember you giving death threats to those junkies we ran into on Illeum. Or that thief we caught on the Citadel. Or the smuggler on No-"

"I get it, Alenko. You want me to say it? Fine, I'll say it: I don't like slavers."

"I don't think 'don't like' is going to cover it."

Wrex nodded. "'Hate' would be a better word."

"I would have gone with 'loath'."

"Oh, I know. He 'despises' slavers."

"Enough with the word games," Shepard finally said. There was an edge in his voice. He didn't enjoy how close he had come to changing into something similar to the monster he fervently fought against. "I despise slavers. Happy? I keep them on a short leash. Now let's get moving. Hicks is probably already here and waiting for us."

* * *

"You humans."

Shepard turned to see a batarian at the top of the stairs. He held himself with arrogant pride, and his head tilted to the right. Between the two men was a barrier curtain. If it wasn't for that, the new arrival would have a new orifice.

"You're almost more trouble than you're worth."

"You must be Balak," Shepard said. "Let the hostages go, and you'll live long enough to explain yourself to the Council."

"I don't answer to the Council! Or you! I'm leaving this asteroid. If you try to stop me, I'll detonate these charges, and your helper and her friends are going to paint the wall."

"I'm not just going to let you leave. Not after everything you've done here."

Balak started to pace. "This is nothing! You humans have done far worse to the batarians. We've been forced into exile."

The batarian kept talking, but Shepard stopped listening to quietly talk to the rest of the team over the comms. "Tali, Kaiden, have you disabled those bombs yet?"

"Just finished," Tali answered.

"I'm going to need another minute," Kaiden said. Shepard thought he heard a bit of jealousy.

"Should I try to flank that group?" Tali asked.

"No, stay put. I get the feeling that those two aren't the only bombs here. We don't want him setting any of them off."

"What are you saying?!" Balak yelled, bringing Shepard's attention back to the batarian.

He shrugged and tilted his head to the right. "I said, 'I didn't realize the Batarian Hegemony allowed preachers into their military.' Honestly, I think you're trying to bore me to death."

Balak growled. "You couldn't possibly understand what you humans have put us through."

"What we put you through? You started the conflict. You attacked us. And when we responded, you ran to the Council, asking them to protect you. When they didn't, you threw a hissy fit and ended all official relations with them. So don't blame humanity for your problems. Everything that has happened has been on your head, not ours."

"Enough! I'm done wasting my breath. Decision time. If you want your friends to live, I suggest you step aside."

"You can go, but this isn't over. I'll find you eventually," Shepard said without hesitation.

"Maybe, but I made sure it won't be today. Those charges are still on a timer. I would hurry if you want to save your friends."

Balak calmly walked out, leaving behind a rearguard to make sure they didn't follow him. As soon as he left, the barrier curtain fell and all hell broke loose.

"Take cover!" Shepard yelled. "Alenko, are you done yet?!"

"Finished, Commander, but I'm reading that there is another bomb where the scientists are."

"Can you get to it?"

"I'm a little bogged down at the moment," Kaiden replied.

"Tali?"

A shotgun blast erupted from the channel before Tali's voice. "I'm a little busy, Shepard."

"Guess I have to pull your butts out of the fire again." He closed the channel. "It looks like we have to take care of the last bomb alone, Wrex."

He huffed. "Of course. Working with a bunch of lazy pyjaks." He popped out of cover nonchalantly and shot an approaching batarian.

"Oh, quit your complaining." A shot from his sniper rifle rang out, and another batarian fell. "Means more targets for you while I disarm the thing. Let's get moving."

They made it to the anteroom remarkably fast, slowing very little as they blasted through batarians, varren, and security drones. It wasn't the first time Shepard wished that he could always have the krogan battlemaster with him on missions.

"No one comes through that door, Wrex."

He nodded, and Shepard got to work on opening the door to the hostages.

Within seconds, he was in. Most of them were cowering as far away from the bomb as possible. One woman was crouched over it.

"Stand back," Shepard told her. "Get away from the door and behind some cover. I'll have this thing disarmed in a minute."

The woman stood up and backed away. Her face showed a combination of surprise and relief.

"You're the soldier on the radio," she said. "Commander Shepard, right?"

He nodded. "Nice to meet you, Ms. Bowman."

After a few seconds, Shepard called to his squad mate. "How you doing, Wrex?"

"You better hurry up, Shepard."

"You getting overrun?"

He laughed. "Of course not! I'm running out of victims. You better finish if you want to get any more target practice in."

Shepard couldn't help, but smile. "I'll be there in a second."

"You people are crazy," Kate said shakily.

Shepard hit one more button, and the timer on the charge faded. He stood and faced the young woman.

"A little. The bomb is dead. You will be safe in a few minutes. Just hang tight."

Shepard joined Wrex at the door. He was right. There were only a few enemies left. The two took down everyone they saw.

After a few moments of quiet, Shepard talked into the comms. "Report."

Kaiden was the first to answer. "Clear here. Tanaka took one in the shoulder, but he'll be okay."

"Clear here too. We are all unhurt," Hicks answered.

"All clear then. Hostages are secure. Gather on my signal."

Shepard turned to see that Kate Bowman had approached him.

"I… I can't believe you let Balak go… to save us. I half expected you to just let us die. Sacrifice the few for the many."

He nodded. "I would have, if I had too. But I didn't have to sacrifice anyone to stop the asteroid. If I did, I would be no better than him. Besides, Balak won't get away with this. I know who he is now. He can't run forever."

She smiled sadly. "You sound like my brother. He was always so stubborn, always willing to do the right thing… no matter what."

Shepard made the connection. "The gunshot on the comms…"

He didn't need to finish. The look on her face told him he was right.

"I'm sorry. He was a very brave man. I wished I could have saved him, too."

Kate shook her head. "It's not your fault. You did what you could. At least Aaron died in a place he loved. He was the one who convinced me to join, said it would be an adventure." She wiped a tear from her cheek. "I… I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I should see to Aaron."

"Of course. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." Shepard's omnitool lit up as he sent his contact information to her.

"Thank you, Commander, for everything."

As she left, he connected to the _Normandy_. "Joker, do you read?"

"We're here, sir."

"Everything is under control. Asteroid X57 is under control. Call off the evacuation. We will stay up here until more help from the planet arrives."

"Good to hear. Glad it didn't turn out into another Prime."

"Me too. Shepard, out."

Shepard turned to find his squad waiting expectantly behind him. He quickly started to give them instructions.

"Alenko, Dietrich, help anyone that needs medical attention, including you, Tanaka. Hicks, take Wrex and sweep here and the other compounds for stragglers. Tali, you and I are going to see what we can do to help get this asteroid back on track. There's a lot of work left to do, people. Let's get it done."

* * *

Shepard looked out the window at passing appealing homes, full trees, and parked cars. The only thing that was missing from this idyllic, old-fashion part of Terra Nova was the white picket fences.

He was getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

"Have I said I don't think this is a good idea, yet?" he asked the driver.

"Yes, you have, Skipper," Ash answered without taking her eyes off the road. "Many times, in fact."

"Just want to make sure that it's on the record."

She sighed. "Will you stop being so nervous. My family just wants to meet my commanding officer."

"Oh, so the fact that I've been given almost celebrity status on this planet has nothing to do with it?" Shepard shot back. "You know, I never had to make house calls to any of the other crew members."

"How many opportunities have you had to visit your crew's homes?"

Shepard was about to say something about how he could have with Cpl. Jenkins who was born on Eden Prime, but he stopped himself.

Williams took his silence as her victory. "That's what I thought. And just so you know, you weren't given 'almost celebrity status.' You're a straight up celebrity. I think there are going to be quite a few buildings and kids around Terra Nova named Shepard in the next few months."

His head dropped into his palms, and he groaned. "If I knew it was going to be like this, I would have made you meet us on Asteroid X57. But noooooo. You just had to convince me to land the ship."

"Hey, that wasn't me. The mayor of the capital did that all on his own."

"Fine. But you did drag me off the _Normandy_. I was happy there."

"You gave the entire ship shore leave for rest of the day. You expect me to believe that you would have been happy on an empty ship?"

"Yes!" Shepard answered enthusiastically. "I have weapon mods I could have worked on, tech specs that could use some tinkering, and an omnitool that needed to be adjusted."

"So, you're telling me that you would rather be surrounded by lifeless tech than five beautiful women?"

He answered without hesitation. "Again, yes! How is this not clear to you?"

"I didn't realize my CO was such a whiny wimp."

"I'll take on an army of rachni, thorian creepers, geth, and krogan in a heartbeat, but five strong women is too much. I know when I'm outmatched."

Ash laughed. "That might be the smartest thing I've ever heard you say."

The car stopped in front a house. Williams opened her door and stepped out. After a moment of hesitation, Shepard followed suit.

"This is a bad idea," he said. "If I don't make it out, just remember that I leave everything to Talitha Jefferson."

Ash sighed as she made her way up the driveway. "Relax. They aren't going to eat you alive."

Before Shepard could respond, the door to the house opened, and four women walked out. He could instantly tell they were all related.

"Ashley, you're back!" the oldest woman said excitedly.

Ash nodded. "And I brought my CO. Commander Shepard, this is my mom, Abby, Lynn, and Sarah," she said, gesturing to each person as she named them. "Everyone, this is Commander Shepard."

"It's a pleasure to meet you all." He turned to Sarah and noticed the ring on her finger. "And I believe congratulations are in order for your graduation and engagement."

She blushed slightly at the sudden attention. "Thank you. How did you know?"

"Your sister likes to talk about you, all of you, during our down time, and there is a lot of down time between missions."

Abby smiled enigmatically. "You've been the topic of many discussions since Ash has been here. We've gotten to know you quite well, Commander."

Shepard glanced at Williams to see her shaking her head. "I hope Ash hasn't divulged too many of my secrets. And, please, call me Troy."

"Well, Troy, would you like to come in?" Mrs. Williams asked. "We should at least get you off the street before our neighbors figures out who you are. They will swarm once they do."

"That sounds like an excellent idea. A mob of people in front of your house is the last thing I want," Shepard said. "After you."

* * *

Shepard moved from the airlock to the cockpit. Joker turned to face him and recoiled.

"What happened to you, Commander?" he asked.

"Day with Williams' family," he weakly replied. "You think she is bad; try spending hours with five variations of her."

Joker nodded, understanding Shepard's plight.

"We ready to be underway?" Shepard asked.

"Just waiting to finish restocking. Couldn't we stay here longer, Commander? I mean, one mention of being on the crew of the _Normandy_ has women throwing themselves at me. A guy could really get used to this."

He lightly patted the pilot's shoulder. "Sorry to disappoint, but we really need to get back to it. Saren has been out there with way too much time on his hands."

"Bah, always some maniac terrorists spoiling my shore leave."

Shepard smiled. "I'll make sure to drop you off here after we are done taking care of him."

He started to walk away when Joker called to him.

"Commander! I forgot to tell you. The Council called while you were out. They want you to call back as soon as you can."

"Okay. Let me know when we are taking off."

"Aye, aye."

Shepard entered the comm room. He hit the necessary commands to connect with the Council's private channel. Before him, three holographic images blinked on almost immediately.

The asari councilor was the first to speak. "Commander, we have a new lead for you on Saren."

_Finally_, he thought. He was tired of running around the Milky Way without any direction. "Any intel will be greatly appreciated."

"We have received a scrambled transmission from a STG group deep in the Attican Traverse," the salarian councilor continued. "While we were unable to understand the entire message, the team definitely stated that they found one of Saren's bases. We ask that you go in and investigate."

"Where is this STG team?"

The turian councilor answered. "Virmire."


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Shepard's boots hit the water as he climbed out of the Mako. He took a moment to stare out over the vast expanse before him. The commander could count the number of times he had been this close to such a large body of water on one hand, and half of those were the Presidium's large, continuous lake.

He drew in deep breaths of the moist air. The action was soothing, and it relaxed him. Shepard decided that he would like to retire to a place like this.

Unfortunately, his mood was disrupted by the sour looks on the faces of Kaiden and Ashley as they turned toward him. The salarian standing behind them looked especially upset.

Shepard approached the trio who were in the middle of a conversation.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Williams asked.

"We stay put until we can put together a plan," the salarian answered.

"What is going on here?" Shepard asked, a little miffed that his good mood had been spoiled. "And why is my ship grounded?"

"I guess you must be Commander Shepard. I'm Captain Kirrahe, Third Infiltration Regiment STG. You and your crew have just landed in the middle of a hot zone. Every AA gun has been alerted to your presence. I'm afraid you are stuck here with us for the time being."

He felt a headache start to pound against his temples. "Great. So what do we do in the meantime?"

"We wait until the Council sends us the reinforcements we requested."

Williams swore under her breath. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but we are the reinforcements," she said.

Kirrahe looked at the commander with a questioning gaze.

"We are all the Council sent."

"What? I requested an entire fleet. Why would they send just one ship?"

"Your message was a garbled mess. We couldn't understand it. They sent us to investigate."

Kirrahe mumbled something Shepard's translator didn't completely translate though he heard something about the "damn Council."

"I have lost many of my men 'investigating' this place," he finally said.

"What have you found?" Alenko asked.

"Saren's base of operations. He's set up a research facility here, but it's crawling with geth and heavily fortified."

That caught Shepard off guard. What was so important to make Saren spend time and money on research? Didn't the turian already have everything he needed to bring back the Reapers? Something was off.

"Have you figured out what kind of research is going on in there?"

"He's using the facility to breed an army of krogan."

_No_, Shepard reasoned. _That can't be all he's doing in there_.

Shepard's thoughts were halted prematurely by a low, rumbling voice breaking in behind him.

"How… how is that possible?" Wrex asked as he walked up.

Kirrahe paused for a moment, hopefully taking the time to choose his words carefully. "Apparently, Saren has found a cure for the genophage."

Williams whistled. "I thought the flashlight heads were bad enough. With an army of krogan, he would be unstoppable."

The salarian nodded. "My thoughts exactly. That is why we must make sure that this facility and its secrets are destroyed."

"Destroyed?!" Wrex roared. "I don't think so. My people are dying. This cure can save them."

"If that cure leaves this planet, then the krogan will be unstoppable. We can't make the same mistake again."

Wrex drew near to Kirrahe, standing inches from his face. "We are not a mistake," he growled before stomping off.

They watched him moved away.

"He's not going to be a problem, is he?" Kirrahe asked. "We have enough angry krogan to deal with, Commander."

"Don't worry about him. I'll deal with it."

"I appreciate that. Now, if you will excuse me, my men and I need to rethink our attack."

"Of course, Captain. I'll come back soon."

Kirrahe left, leaving Shepard alone with Alenko and Williams.

"Things are kind of a mess," Kaiden commented.

"That's an understatement," Ash added. "I wouldn't be so worried if it wasn't for Wrex. He looks like he's going to blow a gasket."

Shepard was getting tired of people harping on Wrex. "He's part of this crew. He will be fine."

Ash didn't look convinced. "If you say so. I'm still going to keep my eye on him and a hand on my gun, if it's all the same to you."

A loud blast prevented the conversation from continuing. Shepard look toward the sound to see Wrex aiming his shotgun into the water, a light mist still lingering in the air around him. He quickly made his way to the upset krogan to prevent one of the nervous salarians from attempting to take care of the situation.

Shepard stood next to Wrex, not exactly sure where to start. The krogan had every right to be upset. His entire race was suffering from a horrible attack that was slowly marching them to extinction. If Shepard were in Wrex's position, he would be livid as well.

Another shotgun blast rang out. The commander felt the cool water against his face. He tried to breath in the serenity that he felt before but was left wanting.

"This isn't right, Shepard," Wrex finally said as he turned toward him. He didn't holster his shotgun. If there is a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it."

"I can understand why you're upset, and I don't blame you. But you have to remember that Saren is the enemy here. We can't waste time fighting amongst ourselves. You should be angry with him."

"Really?" Wrex asked, taking a few steps to close the gap between the two men. "Saren created a cure for my people. You are the ones that want to destroy it. Help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand."

"This isn't a cure; it's a weapon! If Saren uses it, you won't be around to reap the benefits. None of us will be."

Wrex was now inches away from Shepard. "That's a chance we should be willing to take. This is the fate of my people we are talking about. If you can't give me a better reason than this to destroy the only hope for my people, then I'm done with you."

Wrex punctuated his last sentence by him raising his shotgun. On instinct, Shepard readied his pistol.

"Wrex, we can't let Saren win, and, with an army of krogan behind him, he will!"

He huffed. "So that's it then. After all we've been through, that's the best you can do. How can you not see what this means to the krogan?"

Shepard had no idea what it meant to the krogan, but he could clearly see what this cure meant to Wrex. There was an almost mad craving for it in his eyes, a look that said nothing would stop him from reaching his goal.

However, the commander realized that there was something else, another emotion that Wrex didn't want to acknowledge. There was doubt. He doubted that this was the right path, doubted Saren's cure, and doubted that pulling a gun on the closest thing he had to a friend in this galaxy was a good idea.

Shepard could only imagine what that doubt was doing to the man. He was being torn between his entire people and this one human standing before him. It pained him, and Shepard hated seeing his friends, his family in pain.

The commander straightened, holstered his pistol, and approached Wrex. He only stopped when the barrel of the krogan's shotgun rested on his armor and squarely over his heart.

Wrex's eyes widened in surprised before they were quickly changed to questions. They seemed to ask why he would put himself in such a precarious position. They both knew that, at such a close range, there were no kinetic barriers for protection and the armor would not be able to withstand the enormous force. One quick trigger pull would end the commander's life.

"The thing is, I can see what this means to you," Shepard answered, his voice only loud enough for Wrex to hear. "This is an answer to all your prayers. I can't imagine what it's like for your women to give birth to an entire brood of stillborn children. I can't imagine what it's like to see your people more interested in fighting each other than surviving. I can't imagine what it's like to watch your entire race go extinct."

Wrex shook his head and pushed his shotgun against Shepard harder. "No, you can't. So tell me, why should I help you destroy it? Give me a reason, Shepard."

If Shepard didn't know better, he would say that Wrex was pleading for a reason. He truly didn't want to be in this position.

Shepard liked it even less, but it was the best way to get through to him. "Haven't you seen how Saren uses the geth? He throws them at us without any regard for their survival. Do you think he will treat the krogan any better, just because you aren't synthetic? Whatever he has in there parading around aren't true krogan. They are puppets, slaves to Saren's will. They are tools ready to be used and then discarded. You deserve more than that; your people deserve a better cure than that."

Wrex didn't move. Seconds ticked by painfully slow as Shepard waited for Wrex's verdict.

"We were tools for the Council once," Wrex finally said. He didn't lower his shotgun, but Shepard no longer felt it pressing into his chest. "To thank us for taking out the rachni, the salarians neutered us. I doubt Saren will be as generous."

Wrex holstered his weapon, and relief was prevalent in his eyes. "All right, Shepard. You've made your point. I don't like it, but I trust you enough to follow your lead. Hell, you've done more for me than my family ever did."

"Thank you, Wrex. I could only begin to imagine how hard this is for you. It means a lot to me that you trust me enough to follow me."

Wrex grunted. "Then you can explain one thing to me, since we are being all trust-y and bond-y. Why did you do that?"

Shepard knew exactly what he was talking about. "Because I knew you would do the right thing."

"And if I didn't? Not saying that destroying the cure is right. It's just… necessary."

"Then you would have shot me, and I would more than likely died," He answered with a shrug. "You're part of my crew, Wrex. I don't shoot my crew. Besides, what kind of commander would I be if my own people don't trust me?"

Wrex shook his head and chuckled. It wasn't as jovial as usual, but it was better than anger. "You have a quad, Shepard. I should bring you back to Tuchanka, and we can show all of those whelps what it is to be a true krogan."

"Any time, Wrex," Shepard said with a smile. "Just let me know."

He turned and walked away, leaving the krogan to come to terms with his decision. Before he got far however, an angry women in heavy armor quickly approached him.

"What the hell were you thinking, Shepard?!" Ash yelled.

He looked at her questioningly. "Williams?"

"Don't play dumb with me. I saw you. Why did you risk your life just to prove your point to a krogan?"

He glared at her. "Because he's not just 'a krogan.' He's Wrex. He's part of our team. Listen, I don't expect you to begin trusting every alien you ever meet, but I thought you would trust the ones on the _Normandy_ by now. They've saved both of our lives countless times already, and will likely continue to do so. So please tell me that last part was just a slip of the tongue."

"It-it was. I'm sorry, Commander. I do trust them. But what you went too far. He could have killed you."

"Yes, he could have. But he didn't."

"But he could have!" she yelled back. "Why are always you so eager and determined to put your life on the line?"

Shepard took a deep breath, knowing the moist air would help him relax. "Because everyone is more than willing to do it for me," he answered calmly. "Wrex has followed me since we met on the Citadel without complaint. If he wants to argue about a potential cure for his species, he has earned the right.

"Besides, I could tell he didn't want to shoot me. He practically begged me for a reason to drop his weapon."

He could tell Ash didn't like that answer, but she seemed to begrudgingly accept it. "Fine, but, the next time you decide to let someone shove their weapon into your chest, at least let me know. Someone who wants to see you hit thirty should be around to stop you."

He couldn't help but smile. "I didn't know you cared so much."

"Of course I do, Skipper," she answered easily. "If you kick the bucket, I would be saddled with another CO I have to train."

Shepard laughed. "Is that the only reason, Williams? You don't want to be bothered to 'train' a new CO?"

"What other reason is there?"

He shook his head. "Dismissed, Chief."

She saluted, but with a sly smile. "Sir."

* * *

Tali watched as the commander paced in front of her. The gravity of the situation was evident on his entire body. She had never seen him tenser. His hands were restless. They moved between the scar on his cheek, the area on his breastplate above his dog tags, and his sides where he clenched them so tight that she could hear the under-suit creak.

He was given an impossible choice. Kaiden or Ashley. One would live, and one would die. And he would have to decide.

_No_, Tali thought. _This is Shepard we are talking about. He will find a way to save them both. He's done stuff like this before. He just needs more time._

Suddenly, Shepard stopped and looked over the water that bordered the facility. It was almost as if he was looking for something in the serene backdrop. She knew he didn't find it when he shook his head.

He slowly lifted his hand to his helmet to activate the comm.

"Joker, meet us at the AA tower. Alenko, be ready for extraction."

Tali failed to hold back a small gasp. She couldn't believe what she just heard. While they were never close, Ashley was still part of the _Normandy_ family. Last thing Tali wanted was for one of them to not be there anymore.

"Williams," Shepard continued. His voice was remarkably strong for what Tali knew to be a horrible decision.

"Yes, sir?"

"Give them hell, marine. Tanaka, Pakti, that goes for you too."

"Aye, aye," answered the three marines they left behind to guard the bomb.

Shepard tapped a few commands into his omnitool. He stood there for another minute, motionless except for the subtle squeeze of the railing he was holding. Tali could have sworn she heard a soft "I'm sorry" come from his lips.

He quickly turned to face her and Garrus. "Come on. Let's make sure we don't waste the chance they have given us."

Tali expected to see a fire in his eyes and hear the steel in his voice. They were absent. The only emotions she found were sorrow and guilt.

They nodded, and the trio hurried off to the AA tower where Alenko and the salarians were pinned.

* * *

The mood on the _Normandy_ was at a new low. Liara had never felt such widespread and communal sense of grief. No one wished to speak or even lock eyes with anyone else.

She knew the reason. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, Private Raymond Tanaka, and Private Abishek Pakti were left behind to make sure that the improvised bomb that the STG team created blew. While their deaths were unfortunate, their sacrifice should be celebrated or, at least, recognized. That was what the asari would have done.

She realized to say as much would be in very bad taste. Even she was not that naïve. Liara figured it was another difference between human and asari customs.

What truly took her by surprise was Troy's reaction to Ash's death. Their debriefing was especially short, and, more than once, Liara caught him lost within himself as he stared at Williams' empty chair. When Garrus commented about the working prothean beacon they found and a potential mind meld, Shepard shook his head, saying he did not have time for that right now.

Liara knew it had nothing to do with the time commitment and everything to do with the monsters that were running rampant in his head.

He dismissed them, staying behind to debrief the Council on what had occurred on Virmire. Liara decided to patiently wait outside the communications room instead of returning to her quarters. She knew that the commander would need to process what had transpired, and she did not want him to go through it alone.

Shepard came out ten minutes later, looking as if he was in an extended yelling match with the Council. She had never seen him look so red.

"What are you still doing here, Liara?" he asked.

She could tell he tried to keep the anger from his voice. He failed.

"I wish to speak with you."

"Is it important?"

Liara nodded. "Very."

A flash of annoyance danced across his face. She tried to not feel offended, equating the emotion to the enormity of everything he was dealing with. Still, it stung.

"Fine. I have to talk Lt. Alenko first. Meet me in my cabin in thirty." He walked away without waiting for a response.

"I will be there!" she yelled after him.

The next half hour was agonizingly long. She sat at her data terminal, trying to continue some work. She quickly realized that neither her head nor her heart could stay on topic. Instead, she tried to decide what she was going to say to Shepard. When the thirty minutes were up, she still found herself without words.

Liara hated how unprepared she was, but she knew that Shepard would not enjoy being kept waiting. She headed to his cabin.

The door was locked, which was no surprise. She hit the call button and said, "It is I."

The door swiftly unlocked and opened for her. Once she was inside, Shepard relocked it.

He was sitting at his desk with a sniper rifle in pieces before him. Stacked in the corner of his desk was a pile of datapads that Liara assumed were schematics for new weapons, shield generators, omnitools, and weapon and armor modifications that Shepard would tackle next. He was trying to keep himself busy and away from the new nightmare he found himself in.

He never looked up from his disassembled rifle. Only after a minute of pregnant silence did he finally ask, "What was so important that it couldn't wait?"

"You… we need to talk about Ashley and the others."

He didn't respond immediately, but Liara noticed that his hands tightened around the tools he was holding. "Leave," he eventually growled.

A younger Liara would have turned on her heels and left the room as quickly as asari-ly possible. But she was not that feeble maiden any longer, and Shepard was going to have to listen to the new, stronger asari that he had helped create.

"I will not."

The commander finally looked at her. He took a depth breath that, what Liara could only assume, was an attempt to calm himself down and remove some of the anger in his voice. He was only marginally successful.

"Listen," he said, "I appreciate what you are trying to do, I really do."

_He does not sound appreciative_, Liara thought.

"But I have a pile of work here that I need to get squared away. This talk will have to wait." He turned back to his busy work.

"It will not," she answered firmly.

"I don't know if you can see clearly," he said, clearly losing his composure, "but I have a torn down sniper rifle on my desk and a stack of schematics that require my attention."

She pointed to the gun in question. "You mean that sniper rifle, the one I have watched you take apart, adjusted, and pieced together in less than fifteen minutes before the mission?" She gestured to the pile of datapads. "And you must mean those schematics, the ones that have been finished for days, and you are just waiting for an opportune time to send."

He slammed his clenched fist down onto the desk, startling her.

"Leave, Dr. T'soni."

The words were not a growl this time. The only quality missing from the roar was the volume.

"Shepard… Troy…" she started as she closed the distance between them.

"Don't," he warned.

"Ashley is gone," she said. She reached out in an attempt to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

It never made it.

He stood up, violently throwing his chair backward. Liara had to take a few steps back to avoid getting a shoulder to her chin. Shepard glared at her with such ferocity that she shrunk back. She could feel his hot breath on her face. She heard a pounding in her ears. She was not sure if it was Shepard's heart or hers.

"What do you want from me?"

"It is not about what I want, Troy. It is what you need. You need to accept Ashley's death and understand-"

"Accept Ash's death? You want me to accept her death? I have!"

He turned back to his desk and shoved the pieces of his sniper rifle off, scattering them on the floor.

"She's dead, T'soni! She's never coming back."

He picked up the stack of datapads and threw them across the room.

"And you know why she's gone? Because I fucking left her there."

He picked up his chair. "Left her there to die to save my own sorry ass!" He threw the chair across the room. It crashed against the opposite wall.

Liara, having followed the flight of the chair, turned back to Shepard who was looking at where his chair landed. His chest heaved as he panted, and his knuckles were white. His face displayed a myriad of emotions that she was not used to witnessing on the commander.

However, just as suddenly as it erupted, his rage left him. His legs wobbled, and his knees buckled. He reached out behind him in an attempt to steady himself on his desk, but even that was not enough. He collapsed unceremoniously to the floor.

Liara rushed to his side, hoping he did not hit his head on the way down. Shepard was on his back with his hands covering his eyes. She could see that he was laying on pieces of his rifle and datapads, but he showed no sign of caring.

After a minute passed, Liara asked, "You never had to leave behind members to cover your retreat?" She knew the question was dangerous, but she also knew that Shepard keeping everything bottled inside would only exacerbate the situation. She needed to ask probing questions.

"Never like that," he answered, his voice thick with emotion. "There was always a plan to come back. I may not have been able to save everyone, but it was never a death sentence. Ash, Ray,Abbie, they knew we weren't going to come back for them."

Shepard sat up and maneuvered backwards until his back was against the wall. Liara eased herself down next to him, watching and waiting expectantly.

"Do you know what the deciding factor for my decision was?" he asked. He never met her gaze, instead focusing on his empty hands in his lap.

When he did not continue, Liara asked, "What was it?"

Shepard shook his head. She was not sure if it was a mocking gesture or if it was meant to shake him back to the present.

"Numbers," he quietly admitted.

"Numbers?"

He finally looked at her, but his eyes had a faraway look to them.

"Please, Troy. Talk to me."

"It's simple," he shrugged and dropped his gaze again. "Kaiden had a ten man squad of STG members with him. Ash only had Ray and Abbie. Eleven to three." He kicked one of the datapads that had the misfortune of being too close. "Choice was obvious, simple."

It did not take a scientist to see that the choice was not simple in the slightest. From what she heard from Tali, Troy took almost a minute to decide and several more to come to terms with his choice. If that was not enough, the sight before her, a broken man that could not even sit up without the assistance of a wall, would be.

"Do not lie to yourself. While the choice may have been obvious, it was anything but simple. We both know you are not so callous. You agonized over the decision."

He looked at her briefly out of the corner of his eye. "Talked to Tali before you wanted to try your hand at psychiatry?"

Liara felt her cheeks color. "I wished to understand what happened while you were there. Tali had firsthand experience; she was with you. I wanted to know as much as I could."

"Wanted to know all the facts before you check to see if your precious specimen is broken, T'soni?"

Liara tensed at the accusation and felt rage course through her.

_How dare he_, she thought. _I came here in attempt to help him, and he merely throws it back into my face. I should leave and let him wallow in his…_

The realization of what Shepard was attempting stopped her and cooled the anger somewhat. She had spent too much time in his mind to be deceived. She took one of his opened hands in both of hers.

"You know very well that you are more than a specimen to me. Do not try and push me away, Troy. It will not work. I am not going to leave you like this."

They sat like that for a while. Shepard, to Liara's surprise, did not try to remove his hand from her grasp. In fact, he wrapped his fingers around hers. She tried not to act surprised, but she felt her pulse quickened.

_No_, she chastised herself as certain emotions bubbled. _I will not take advantage of Troy's current vulnerability._

Liara was so taken with her own thoughts that she jumped when Shepard suddenly spoke.

"I want to show you something."

"Okay?" she said, not sure what he meant.

"It's in here," he said as he pointed to his head. "Do you mind melding with me?"

"Of course not. Are you certain though? I know now is a delicate time."

Shepard nodded. "It is. I've been trying to figure out the best way to share what I want for the past minute, but nothing feels right. I figured I might as well show you from the source." He hesitated a moment. "If it's too much in there, I want you to break the connection. Don't push yourself, Cielo."

Liara closed her eyes and pushed away that certain feeling she encountered whenever the commander would call her by his nickname for her. "Clear your mind, Troy. Embrace eternity."

Once their minds were connected, Shepard's state stunned Liara. She had felt a variety of background emotions while they were melded. Happiness and contentment made the experience feel brighter and more alive. Anger and rage forced a stiffening of his mental space, making any progress difficult and exhausting. Fear and nervousness caused a slickness to fall; when Liara would try to view a memory or move to deeper reaches of Shepard's unconscious, the desired objective would be difficult to grasp and stay connected with, sliding away at any moment.

Liara thought she had readied herself for the sorrow and guilt she knew would be present. She was woefully unprepared. The sadness was so consuming and weighing that she had difficulty even processing the emotion.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here," Shepard said (through their multiple joining's, they had become exceedingly proficient at communicating while melded) and began forcing her out.

She fought him. "Do not push me out, Troy. Show what you wish me to see."

The push on her diminished until it was no more. When she finally acclimatized to the unfamiliar state, Liara explored how it affected his conscious.

Apparently, sadness made his mind murky and clouded. It was not a fight to maneuver the same way it was with anger, nor was it difficult to hold onto memories like fear. It simply made everything unfocused, dull, and hard to navigate. While it should have been obvious, Liara was surprised by how perfectly the gloom contrasted happiness.

She began searching for whatever Shepard had to show her but quickly found it to be useless. She could spend all day in this murk and never find it. Shepard would simply have to show her.

A memory eventually came into focus in front of her. It was painfully slow, and Liara could sense his hesitation. She touched it and was propelled into the scene.

* * *

Shepard was overlooking a large, tranquil body of water. She could hear the waves below and feel the humid air.

Virmire, Liara said.

Shepard didn't answer, but she knew she was right as his grief intensified.

Even as he looked over a peaceful scene, Liara could tell the commander had been anything but at peace. All she could feel from him was numbness and physical pain that radiated from his balled hands.

"Give them hell, marine. Tanaka, Pakti, that goes for you too," she heard him say in the memory.

There was a response, but the commander didn't pay it much mind. What did grab his attention was a private comm channel request from Williams. Shepard tapped a few commands on his omnitool to isolate the two.

"Skipper?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"I'm here."

"Just wanted to say thanks for giving me the opportunity to prove myself." She paused. "I meant what I said, in your cabin. You're the best CO I've ever served under."

"I'm sorry, Ash. I failed-"

"Don't do that, Shepard. Don't take this away from me. This is my choice. I decided to arm the bomb. This isn't on you. You don't get to be the hero all the time."

Shepard didn't answer. Liara knew that Williams had hit a nerve when she called him a hero. Ever since Daily accused him of playing hero on Mindoir, the commander always paused at the word.

"Now, stop standing around, and get the lieutenant outta here. I swear to God, if I see you at the pearly gates, I'm going to kick your ass up and down those golden streets." There was an explosion in the background. "Damn it! Another wave coming in. Gotta go, Skipper. Get that turian bastard for me!"

The channel closed before he could answer. After a moment, he released the railing that he didn't realize he held in a viselike grip. His hands ached as Shepard tried to relax them.

He turned around. Tali appeared shocked. Garrus merely nodded in grim understanding.

"Come on. Let's make sure we don't waste the chance they have given us."

* * *

The memory faded, and Liara noticed that her surroundings had grown bleaker.

"I believe Ashley told you to not bear this burden. You really do not listen well, do you?"

He laughed. It sounded very harsh. "You aren't the first one to tell me that. What did she expect? She knew me well enough to know I would anyway."

"You should not have locked yourself in your cabin," Liara said. "I know you too, Troy. You will dwell on what happened insistently until you drive yourself mad."

"I won't let my crew suffer this. No one else should have to deal with it more than they already are. It was my decision. I'm the only one who should live with it."

"Then, you are a fool."

"What?" He sounded very surprise.

"You are a fool," she repeated gently. "For all your talk of making the people you serve with family, you do not seem to realize what a family does for one another."

"And what is that?"

"We support each other. We make certain that no one goes through life alone."

Shepard seemed pensive for a time. "And how do you plan to support me?" he finally asked.

She stood shocked for a moment. "I truly had not thought that far ahead. I simply wanted you to express your frustrations." A thought suddenly struck her. "But, since we are here, there is something I can show you, memories that will remind you that you are a good Shepard like your father wished you to be."

He was obviously skeptical. "And what memories are those?"

"Let's start with Feros."

At the mere mention of the planet, Shepard's mind brought forth the memories of their time there. Liara could not help but be somewhat pleased that she could force Shepard to think about what she wished.

She touched the memory, and, together, they experienced the commander putting life and limb in peril to ensure that the colonists survive.

"Protecting the flock, Troy?" she asked once the scene was over.

"Anyone would have done that for them."

"I believe Wrex indicated that taking such actions was a waste of time."

Liara could feel genuine amusement from Shepard. "Fine. Anyone with half a conscience would."

"Hmmm. Another example is needed then. Maybe Asteroid X57 and Terra Nova?"

The mood instantly darkened again.

"Ash's family is on Terra Nova," he said. "I met them when we picked her up. I should go back there after we caught Saren, explain to them what happened. She deserves that."

She did not like the direction this little adventure through Shepard's memories had taken, but Liara was going to capitalize on the situation.

"You do realize that you are able to because you stopped an asteroid from crashing into their home. Over four million people owe you their lives from that planet alone. Same could be said about Major Kyle's cult, Dr. Chloe Michel, and Talitha."

She knew the mention of Talitha Jefferson would drive the point home. Shepard had found some semblance of peace over Mindoir after he protected Scott's younger sister. Liara hoped to remind him of that.

"If you are so willing to accept your perceived failures," she continued, "and that is exactly what some of them are, perceived, then you must also be willing to accept your successes. And I am telling you that they are more numerous then you realize."

She could still sense that Shepard was skeptical.

"You do not believe me?"

"I believe that you believe it. I just don't see it."

Liara huffed. "Fine. Prepare yourself, Troy. This might be a little jarring."

Before he could respond, she began to alter their connection. Shepard's mind began to fade into the background as she drew him into her consciousness.

Truthfully, Liara had never attempted this transfer mid-meld before. She was not completely sure how well his mind would take to it. Her inexperience was evident when Shepard's avatar snapped into existence and stumbled to the ground.

"What the hell did you do, Liara?" he accused as he stood and attempted to shake off the odd process that he was forced to endure.

She formed her own avatar in an attempt to ease to transition for him, give him a point to focus on. "I apologize for being so rough, but, what was that human saying again? Drastic times call for drastic measures?"

"Did Corporal Hicks tell you that one? He loves those old platitudes."

"Do not attempt to downplay your own affinity for such sayings."

Amusement rolled of him before his confusion returned. "Where are we?"

Before she answered, Liara studied his avatar, the mental projections of oneself that help ground the person in the unfamiliar environment of someone else's consciousness. Since this was the first time Liara saw Shepard outside his mental space, it was the first time she had the opportunity to see his.

Liara's form was dressed in her simple archeologist attire. Shepard had made the joke that, regardless of where she was, she would always be digging in the dirt for new information. She had not found the comment as amusing as he did.

Troy's avatar was dressed in his medium armor with his sniper rifle attached to his back and pistol on his hip. The significance was not lost on Liara. He was always ready for a fight, even in his own mind.

"We are in my mind, Troy," she answered.

"I see." He relaxed and took a moment to take in her presence. "It's peaceful here. Much different than mine or Shiala's."

Jealousy flashed through her at the mention of the other asari's name, and she quickly tried to push the emotion aside. When they were in Shepard's mind, Liara had quite adept at hiding her emotions that she did not want him to experience. However, she knew that, in her own mind, there was no place to keep them away from Shepard.

Liara sighed in relief when he made indication of noticing the jealousy. She realized too late that he would more than likely feel that as well.

"I-I am sorry. I am not used to sharing such an intimate melding with another. I am finding it difficult to control my emotions."

Shepard smiled at her. She noticed it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Little different when the tables are turned, isn't it, Cielo?"

She made no attempt to stop the complicated emotion that surged forward this time. She knew the endeavor would be fruitless.

Again, Shepard gave no hint that he felt it. "So, why did you bring me here?"

"I wish to show you another one of your successes."

"Couldn't you have just done your little trick and showed it to me in my mind?"

Liara smiled. "I thought you could use a different perspective." She brought the memory forward. "Go ahead. Touch it."

He did, and they were propelled into the scene.

* * *

They found themselves in a large cavern. Even underground, the air was hot and smelled faintly of sulfur.

Isn't this Therum? Shepard asked.

Yes, Liara answered. Now, no more talking. This is important.

Liara found herself hunched over a computer console. The time on the screen indicated that it was very late which explained why she was the only one still working at the dig site. The rest of the scientists had turned in hours ago.

She was working diligently, cataloging some of the prothean artifacts that came from a trove discovered late in the day. The others on the dig decided that their entry into the directory could be put off for tomorrow, but Liara knew she would not be able to sleep with such interesting pieces simply waiting to be examined.

Wow. I mean, I knew you liked prothean stuff, but I didn't realize you geeked out that much.

I believe I said no talking, Troy.

As she was entering a particularly novel artifact that appeared to be a bracelet of some kind, a large bang sounded near the entrance above her.

She jumped. "Is that you, Lesh?" she yelled up. "Why do you find such joy in tormenting me?"

The entire cavern was silent, eerily so.

_Do not be frightened, Liara_, she thought, trying to bolster her courage. _It's just that salarian research assistance that has been relentless with his pranks this entire dig. I swear, if he dedicated even half of the time he takes to pester me into studying, he would have two doctorates by now._

"I will not play your games tonight, Lesh. You might as well return to your bunk and sleep. We have a lot of work to accomplish tomorrow." She was not sure if she was talking to stop prank or to fill the void.

This time, there was a response. An odd banging sound caught Liara's attention. It seemed to be coming from the doors that led into the ruins, but it was nothing that she recognized. She knew the sounds of the machines in the dig site. This sounded nothing like them.

She stood and went to check on the noise. She realized that this could be exactly what Lesh wanted from her, but her curiosity overrode her fear.

Suddenly, a large explosion shook the entire cavern. Bits of dirt and rock fell from the ceiling, and Liara lost her footing. The banging on the door seemed to increase in frequency and urgency.

Then, she heard a one loud bang and a thud. Silence fell again for a pregnant moment before the inner doors slide away to reveal armed mechs storming into the area. One turned its lit head toward her and began to click, chirp, and sputter insistently. The others looked towards her as well before they quickly made their way to the elevators.

Liara was frozen where she stood. It was not until the first elevator released its occupants on the lower floor when she finally snapped back into reality and realized that these mechs were coming for her, and they were not going to assist her in cataloguing the artifacts.

She quickly ran to the only safe place she could think of in this situation. She flew up the catwalk and into the prothean ruins. She typed furiously at the controls, hoping that she could find some defense mechanism that was still operation in the fifty thousand year old tech.

Just as the machines were exiting the second elevator, Liara recognize the prothean symbols for "suspension" and "barrier." She activated the program and was instantly relieved to see a blue shimmer materialize between herself and the mechs.

They clicked and whirred at each other when they saw the new obstacle. Some walked deeper into the cavern, probably looking for anything that could help while others tested the barrier's strength with bullets and small explosives. Nothing they tried had any effect.

Liara exhaled in relief and started to head deeper into the ruins to find a way out. She barely took a step away from the council when her body stiffened on its own. She felt herself being lifted and pulled to the center of the small room. When she stopped, suspended with her legs apart and arms out, a blue sphere formed around her. She threw what biotic attacks she could without being able to move, trying to escape from its grasp, but nothing worked. Liara was trapped in the place she hoped would provide protection.

After an hour or so (she found it incredible difficult to gauge time when one was held in one position for so long), a large krogan came down and studied her through the barrier.

"This is the one all right," he said gruffly. "I want explosives on this barrier. We are going to blast our way through."

The mech standing next to him clicked and whirred. Liara guess that the krogan had some sort of translator so he could understand the mechanical noises.

"I don't care if we bring the entire place down. I just want that asari outta there."

More mechanical communications.

The krogan growled. "Fine. Just set up as much of the explosives you can. Tell me when you're finished. I'm gonna be on the surface. Have a few loose ends that need tying up," he said with a wicked grin.

The machines worked with incredible speed. Despite the situation, she wondered what company was responsible for the VI programing installed on the units. They seemed to have a level of awareness that she had never seen in any mech before.

Before she knew it, Liara was looking directly at enough explosives to level a small temple. Obviously, they were not as worried about the site collapsing on them as they let on. Once they moved back to a safe distance, the explosives detonated and rocked the cavern. Liara couldn't help but flinch away.

When she turned back, she was relieved to find that the barrier had withstood the attack. Just as quickly as the relief arrived, it died as Liara heard the groan of metal above her. Then, she watched as pieces of the catwalk above came crashing down.

After a few gut retching minutes, the metal finally settled, and the site was quiet again. Liara was extremely thankful that the entire cavern decided to not collapse as well.

The machines approached to see what their attempt had accomplished. When they saw the destruction they achieved on the surrounding structure but nothing to the prothean ruins, they began to click and chatter to one another more insistently. They walked away while continuing their discussion.

Liara did not know how long she was held in her suspension bubble. Time had very little meaning underground. There was no chrono to indicate how much time as actually passed. The mechs were no help either. They worked tirelessly, not needing breaks for sleep or food.

She spent most her time in captivity trapped in one of four states: crushing terror, frantic panic, grim acceptance, or restless sleep. Her muscles ached from being held in the same position indefinitely. She was desperate for an escape.

Liara could feel her lucidity slipping away slowly. So when she awoke from one of her uncomfortable naps by gunfire from above, she was sure it was merely the remnants of a fear-filled dream. When unfamiliar voices reached her, she was positive that the situation had finally broke her, and she was hallucinating. Only when the elevator began its slow dissent did hope finally grow in her chest. She may survive this predicament just yet.

Three figures walked into view. She first noticed the hulking krogan that seemed to be leading the group, and her heart fell. While this one was different than the first, Liara did not have much faith that he was here to help. Then she noticed the human and quarian that were following him. Hope surged again. They were, quite frankly, the oddest set of individuals she had ever witness, but she was not going to be choosey if they were here to help.

"Hello?! Can you hear me? I'm trapped and need help!" she yelled.

"Don't worry. We will help you. Are you Dr. Liara T'Soni?" the human answered.

Relief overwhelmed her, and she quickly began explaining what had occurred. Liara noticed that only the human was truly paying her any mind. The quarian seemed to be studying the curtain intently while the krogan appeared very bored with the entire conversation.

When they left to find a way past the curtain, Liara had the sense that she had missed something in their conversation. The quarian had made an odd sound, like a restrained sob, while the krogan watched her, perplexed. The human had mumbled something she did not catch. It seemed that her inexperience with other species was already evident to the three visitors.

She did not dwell on the matter, instead focusing on her imminent rescue from her protection turned prison. Liara knew that she should not get her hopes up. The mechs could not break through the shield, and she doubted that these three would fare better. Yet, she could not help but be excited.

A few minutes and large rumble later, the trio appeared behind her. She was truly amazed at their ingenuity. After what she could only assume was some bizarre test the human seemed to give her and brief introductions, Liara led the group into the elevator in the center of the tower.

An unwanted surprise greeted them at the top. The krogan battlemaster that led the machines that she now knew were geth blocked their path. Commander Shepard tried to reason with him, but the krogan seemed to enjoy their predicament.

"Just give us the asari, and we may let you live."

"Whatever you want from me, you are not going to get it!" she quickly responded.

Liara did not know where the courage to say such a thing to a krogan came from. Maybe it was the frustration of being trapped boiling over, or maybe the presence of three fully armed people around her, or maybe the startling close proximity of the commander. When did she maneuver so close behind him?

He turned toward her and gave her a light smile. That smile changed something for Liara. She found it difficult to comprehend. A wealth of comfort overtook her. "Everything is going to be all right," that simple smile said. Even surrounded by geth and a krogan, she felt safe. The thought was ridiculous. It was irrational. It was absurd. It was confusing.

_It was right_, Liara thought later as the _Normandy_ sped away from Therum.

* * *

Hoping that would be enough to convince the very obstinate Shepard, Liara separated their minds. She blinked away the slight disorientation that she experienced whenever she ended the melding and looked at the man sitting in front of her.

His eyes were intense in a way she had never witness before. She had seen him when he was angry, confident, determined, and resolved. This was something entirely different.

"You really felt that way?" Shepard asked.

She simply nodded, too embarrassed to put it into words.

"I never realized…"

Liara could not stop the small smile that graced her lips. "Little different when the tables are turned, isn't it, Rex?" she asked, mimicking him.

He lowered his gaze and laughed lightly. "Yes, it is."

She quickly placed her hands on his cheeks and lifted his head so their eyes met. She would not allow him to miss what was passing between them. He needed to see the results of his successes. He needed to see how much he meant to the people he had helped.

"Do you understand what you did when you saved and protected me? Did you feel what I felt?"

He tried to nod but found his head was being held stationary. "I did. I do."

"Remember that. Remember that when you feel like a failure. Remember that far more people are alive because you are here, fighting for them. Promise me."

"I'll try."

Liara did not like that answer. "Do not try. Promise me you will, Troy. Promise."

She felt his facial muscles pull his lips into a smile. He reached up and covered his hands with his own.

"Relentless, aren't you. Okay, Liara. I promise."

She was glad that she sensed no deceit in his voice and relieved that she was finally able to get through to her stubborn leader.

Then, she realized she was mere inches from him with her hands trapped cradling his face. She felt her face heat, but it was not completely due to that familiar feeling of embarrassment. She felt the same emotions as in the memory on Therum they just experienced together. It felt irrational. It felt confusing. It felt right.

Liara used her thumbs to explore the contours of his face. She could feel the rough stubble that ran along his jawline. It surprised her that his skin was remarkably smooth above the growth, much softer than she expected from a hardened soldier.

She found his scar that ran from the left side of his mouth to under the left side of his cheekbone. The puckered skin felt hard and scarred even after so many years since he received it. It amazed her that she never felt truly drawn to what should be a defining feature. Liara attention was always pulled by some other portion of his face. She wondered if he did that on purpose.

However, she knew that the scar was very important to him, a reminder of everything that occurred on Akuze. She traced what portions that she could. Troy closed his eyes at her touched and relaxed.

Her thumbs then moved over his cheekbones. Troy somehow managed to tense and relax at the same time. His hands held hers tighter, and he sucked in a breath. Yet his shoulders relaxed, and he eased into her hands. She was proud that she could illicit such a response from him.

In a daring show of confidence, she rested her forehead against his. He did not pull away. They sat like this for a while, simply enjoying the closeness between them.

Eventually, Shepard pulled her hands off his face and backed away. She understood they would have to separate eventually, but something deeper wished for the connection to continue.

"Your nickname seems to fit you better than I thought. Looking at the sky and talking to you does wonders for my mood."

"Good. I am glad I could help you," Liara said. "I hope you understand that I know it is still painful to see one of your crewmates die, and I did not intend to imply that you could not mourn Ashley's death. I just-"

Troy interrupted her by placing his hand on her cheek.

_By the goddess_, she thought as he lightly brushed her skin with his callous fingertips. Her breath caught as the small, seemingly inconsequential motion sent electricity down her spine.

"Don't ruin the moment by overthinking this, Cielo." The combination of his touch and nickname made her shiver. "I know what you were going for. Thank you for this."

He did not wait for her to reply. He quickly stood and offered his hand to Liara. She took it, and he pulled her up next to him.

Shepard looked around the room. "It seems that I have a mess to clean up. If you're done performing the impossible…"

She smiled lightly. "I believe I have done enough for today. I am always ready if you wish to talk, Troy."

He nodded. Liara could tell that there was still grief and guilt, but they were obviously more subdued than when she first arrived.

"I will."


End file.
